Britney Back in Hospital on "Mental Evaluation Hold"

Britney Spears has been taken to UCLA Medical Center and has been placed (again) on 5150 or "mental health evaluation hold" -- meaning she is a danger to herself and others. According to TMZ her psychiatrist called the police, citing her reckless driving and driving and erratic behavior.

The erratic behavior is evident to just about everyone except Britney, but reckless driving? Half of California or more would fit that category.

At any rate, last night shortly before 1 AM police and fire department crew arrived and at 1:08 a.m., officers inside the home radioed to commanders that "the package is on the way out." Brit has a new nickname, I guess.

The LA Times reported the "convoy" of emergency vehicles was more than 100 yards long.

This is the second mental health hold for Spears in less than a month. You're recall her earlier hospitalization on the night of Jan. 3 after an hours-long standoff with police over a child custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

A short clip of the "motorcade":


Britney's father arriving at the hospital:

Drugs Reportedly Led to Ledger, Williams Split

Although the reasons for Heath Ledger's death are still unknown, drugs are still suspected. And, according to Access Hollywood, drugs led to the split between Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams.

People Senior Editor J.D. Heyman spoke to Access Hollywood, and said,

"Well, certainly Heath Ledger was a partier. He liked to go out, he was a known user of drugs, he used cocaine. He had a lifestyle that really wasn't — at least in Michelle William's eyes — compatible with raising a child and continuing in that relationship. Even though their relationship did not work out, she did love Heath — she loved him very much."

Williams reportedly didn't want Ledger's partying and drug use around their child, Mathilda. At the same time as Access Hollywood's story, US Weekly reports that in 2006 Williams drove Ledger to Promises Treatment Center, but he refused to get out of the car and instead convinced her he would change.

Ledger will be laid to rest in his native Australia in just a few days.

Puppy Chews Off Paralyzed Man's Toes

Lexington, KY resident Terry Smith wound up in the hospital Tuesday after his pit bull puppy "China," chewed off parts of four of his toes. Smith is paralyzed from the waist down and apparently didn't feel the dog chewing on his feet while he was asleep.

He was found by his friend Tim Cantrell, who had stayed the night, in a bed full of blood. Cantrell said, "I want to say the dog's not a bad dog. It's just a puppy. It's that guy's pride and joy, you know. I don't know what happened. I guess it was just playing and just kept playing."

China is being quarantined at animal control, where he will stay for at least 10 days. Despite it all Smith wants his puppy back.

Recall Election Forced for Oregon Mayor with Hot MySpace Photo

The good thing about this story not flaming out is I get to post the hot photo of Arlington, Oregon mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist again. I mean, come on, those are some fabulous abs!

Seriously though, the story continues, with opponents having collected enough signatures to force a recall election.

While the picture is part of it, opponents also disagree with the mayor on water issues and what to do with the local golf course.

Under Oregon's constitution, Kontur-Gronquist will be given five days to resign or submit a statement explaining her record in office. A recall election would be scheduled after the five days have elapse, to be held within 35 days.

According to an interview Kortur-Gronquist gave to 20/ABC's "20/20," broadcast earlier, Kontur-Gronquist said she had permission from the fire chief to use the engine and had intended to use the photos in a contest about fitness in women.

Uh huh. On the other hand, she also said that a relative set up the MySpace page in hopes it would jump-start her social life. And it hasn't, with that picture?

Lonely Man Calls Directory Assistance More than 10,000 Times

A lonely Japanese man has been arrested for allegedly calling directory assistance thousands of times since 2004.

Takahiro Fujinuma, 37, reportedly would whisper "darling" when he called, pleading with operators not to hang up. He allegedly like to be "scolded" by the operators.

He was arrested yesterday in Tokyo on charges of obstructing the business of NTT. According to Japanese media he called 104 - directory assistance - more than 10,000 times since 2004, and 2,600 times between early June and mid-November of 2007.

Sounds like he needed more than a conversation. Fujinuma is single and unemployed. Get this man a job and a date - and likely a psychologist!

Miley Changes Her Name - to Miley

At least this Miley Cyrus story doesn't involve a disrobed Miley.

In case you didn't know, not only is Miley Cyrus not Hannah Montana, she's not Miley Cyrus either. Or at least she wasn't. Her birth name is - or was - Destiny Hope Cyrus

Miley was her nickname. Since she was little, her dad called her "Smiley," which morphed into "Miley," according to IMDB.

According to ET, she's changed her name legally to Miley Cyrus. Miley Ray Cyrus, to be exact. Three guesses as to where the "Ray" came from.

Vermont Town to Vote on Indicting Bush, Cheney for War Crimes

Brattleboro, Vermont calls itself the place "Where It Can ALL Happen!" That appears to include a possible indictment of Bush and Cheney on war crimes. A petition with the required number of signatures was presented to the Brattleboro Selectboard on January 25th, and they voted 3-2 to place the measure on the ballot.

If passed by popular vote, the indictment would allow Bush and Cheney to be arrested if they entered the town. I'd like to see how the Secret Service would react to that. Voting will take place March 4.

News of the decision has led to some nasty crank calls from around the country, including one that said he'd like to see terrorists cut off the heads of Brattleboro officials.

The likelihood of an arrest would be small anyway as, according to NPR, neither Bush nor Cheney has been to Vermont during their terms.

Jell-o Lawsuit Breaks the Mold

I've said it before and I'll say it again: too many people won't take responsibility for their own actions.

Take the case of this former New York University student, Avram Wisnia. In 2004 his dormitory organized a party called "Beach Bash." According to his lawsuit, while goofing around in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-o, Wisnia was pushed and shattered his hip.

The lawsuit, filed in 2005 lawsuit blamed NYU for allowing the event and for having the school's food service provide the Jell-o. I'm guessing the person who pushed Wisnia, likely another student, didn't have the deep pockets of NYU.

But a Manhattan judge, Carol Robinson Edmead threw the case out of court, ruling that Wisnia knew what he was doing (yah).

Tongue planted firmly in cheek, NYU spokesman John Beckman said "This case broke the mold but in the end justice was served sweetly."

Man Attacked, Killed by Amorous Crocodiles

Viillagers on the Papua New Guinea island of Manus are having problems - problems with amorous crocodiles.

Authorities formed a hunting party with licensed firearm holders after mating crocodiles killed one man last week. They decided to thin out the crocodiles, as they are breeding in great numbers and attacking villagers.

Authorities said the crocodiles become agitated when humans venture into their breeding grounds during mating season.

Well, yeah, crocodile orgies get a little rough - even for the crocodiles.

Man Who Admitted Shooting, Dismembering, and Cooking His Girlfriend Wins Appeal

A New Jersey man who testified that he had in fact shot, dismembered, and boiled his girlfriend's head - but in self-defense - won an appeal of his murder conviction Monday.

George Jenewicz testified at his 2002 trial that he shot Eunice Gillens in self-defense following a fight and after panicking, dismembered her. He then put her head in a pot to boil away her features.

Jenewicz asserted that the trial judge improperly barred testimony from two proposed defense witnesses, including Gillens' mother, and that the prosecution improperly cross-examined a defense expert.

Gillens' mother was to testify that her daughter had said she chased Jenewicz with a shotgun, and one occasion had kicked him down a staircase because he had tied her up. Of course, tying her up - that might deserve kicking him down the stairs.

The New Jersey Supreme Court, in a 5-2 decision, ruled that those errors "prejudiced the fairness of defendant's trial and, therefore, casts doubt on the propriety of the jury verdict that was the product of that trial."

Of course, the Supreme Court also said "that the state presented powerful evidence to undermine defendant's self defense claim," but who cares, let's spend some more of the state's money on a new trial.

Man on Way to Pick Up DUI ex-Wife Arrested - for DUI

This isn't what they mean by "designated driver." In Vermont, 33-year-old Tanya Laporte was involved in an auto accident, and was arrested and processed for DUI and drug possession.

She called her ex-husband, 47-year-old Michael Laporte, to pick her up. On his way to the station, he rolled his car. He was arrested for DUI and driving on a suspended license.

I'm not sure why they ever divorced; they seem made for each other.

Curious Cat Uncovers Child Porn Stash

You know what they say about curiosity and cats don't you? In this case, the cat is just fine, but after it found a stash of child pornography, 24-year-old Luis Jimenez is in jail.

When Amy Spencer says she had just moved into her South Texas apartment and she noticed her cat, Sophie, clawing at something on top of a cabinet. What they found was a stack of DVDs, which contained video of girls aged 5 to 11 performing sexual acts with adult men.

"It was horrible," Spencer said. "At first I thought it was just like a home video because there was nothing on it, and then it became apparent within the first seven seconds, actually, that we watched that what it was. I've never seen anything like that in my whole life."

Apartment management gave the police the names of prior occupants, and they used that info to track down Jimenez. He faces a third-degree felony punishable by up to 10 years behind bars and a fine of up to $10,000.

All the Gum Sculpture That's Fit to Chew

Pastificio Cerere is a foundation whose focus is to promote contemporary art. Located in Italy, they are also, according to their home page, opening a gallery in Second Life soon.

This particular artist, Maurizio Savini, produces his sculptures in chewing gum. Yes, chewing gum. And no, I'm not sure if he chews it himself. As they say on his webpage:

The sensual act of chewing, the voluptuous warmth of rebelling saliva, the artificial and secretly aseptic fragrance which spreads from the mouth as a promise and missed kiss. The synthetic fleshliness of the pink color, the obsessive square shape of the product unwrapped and ready to be shred to pieces by the power of the tongue, all compete in crashing on the senses.

Whew. Kind of creepy, to be honest. Take a look at the full gallery at the link above.

Adnan Shopping Nutty Home Vids of Britney?

With friends like Adnan, does Brit need any enemies?

According to News of the World, Adnan Ghalib, Britney's latest ex-, is shopping some pretty nutty-sounding video diaries around to the highest bidder. Not that NOTW is a rock-solid source, but with Adnan's mercenary reasons for being with her the subject of intense speculation, why not?

NOTW dishes the details:

CLIP No1 shows Britney sitting on her bed wearing a nightie. She talks about herself in the third person and rambles about her childhood. She's heard saying:

"When Britney was a child, she had to work really hard. When she was 13 years old, she won all the beauty pageants."

CLIP No2 shows Brit wrapped in a white bath towel, again perched on the edge of the bed. Talking to thin air, she mumbles:

"Britney has an angel looking out for her, don't you, angel?"

CLIP No3 sees a Britney talking to Adnan, who's holding the camera, and calling him by his pet name Bubba.

She smiles: "I'm really happy. Bubba's here for me now. It's all good."

Adnan is still withholding CLIP No4 and CLIP No5 but CLIP No6, filmed last week, shows Britney crying hysterically after a night out.

Mascara stains her cheeks as she wails: "Britney wants to live. I'm not crazy. I miss the kids and I did love Kevin."

As hard as it is to admit, I'd like to see if these tapes are real - though to redeem myself I must say that I continue to wish Spears would get some real help instead of partying as though nothing is wrong.

Hundreds of Prosthetic Legs Found Under Floor Now on Way to Help Pakistan Quake Victims

Here's something most people don't find under their floorboards: a pile of prosthetic legs.

Mike Sutton and his wife Teresa found hundreds of false legs under their floorboards when they had some plumbing work done last year on their house in Dorset, England. Since then they have been trying to find a new home for the legs, to no avail.

However, Adrian Wheeler, a member of the Limbless Association heard about the legs and suggested the association would have a use for them. They are now being taken to Kashmir to help victims of the 2005 earthquake.

Oh, and where did the legs come from in the first place? The Dorset Echo said that they were told by David Park that the legs were originally collected to be sent for use by the physically handicapped in Africa, but that when the airline found out how much the shipment weighed they refused to ship them.

So they stayed in his home, stored under the floorboards, and he completely forgot about them 12 years later when he retired to Portugal - and the home ended being the Suttons'.

The World's Hairiest Man is Back on The Market

Yu Zhenhuan, 29, named as the world's hairiest man in 2002 by the Guinness Book of World Records, is back on the market. Yu has hair on 96.5% of his body. He had been in a 3-year relationship, but it has ended.

Yu is now looking for love with an online dating agency.

Yu's body hair is a result of a severe case of hypertrichosis. He has tried waxing but it was too painful;. He tried having, but that didn't work either.

Regarding his love life and his last relationship, Yu said, "We got to know each other through the internet, and had been seeing each other for three years. Unfortunately our relationship has come to an end. My whole body is covered with hair, and my parents are worried I won't be able to find a wife. Many girls are shocked when they see me in person. I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart."

More "Scandalous" Miley Cyrus Pics Surface

First, I don't necessarily think these pics are all that bad, but Miley Cyrus needs to remember a few things.

One, she works for Disney.
Two, remember what happened to Vanessa Hudgens?
Three, she may not like it, but she's a role model for teens and tweens.

These supposedly were leaked from her MySpace page. Like I said, it just seems like normal goofy teenage behavior - for now anyway. Let's hope we're not seeing another Lindsay Lohan / Britney Spears on the rise. All the fame at such a young age; it's hard to imagine it not corrupting her at least some.

Click the above image for more, including the infamous bathtub pic.

Kindergarten Temper Tantrum Leads to Handcuffing

Questions abound in the case of a 5-year-old boy who was handcuffed at a New York public school after a temper tantrum.

The child, Dennis Rivera, a kindergartener at Public School 81 in Ridgewood, was put in a chair and handcuffed behind his back by a school safety agent after acting up. His mother, Jasmina Vazquez, said "I think it was excessive force. It was unnecessary what they did to my son."

She also indicated that her son suffers from asthma, has speech problems, and may have ADD.

Not only that, they eventually transported Rivera to Elmhurst Hospital by EMS for psychiatric evaluation. For a tantrum?

The incident allegedly occurred on Jan. 17th and Rivera has since been moved to a private school.

The police disagree with Vazquez, in a report saying the child was "punching his teacher and swinging wildly at school aides, that he smacked the assistant principal in the face, ran into a corner, and began to throw things on the floor."

Donna Lieberman, Executive Director of the New York Civil Liberties Union, said "The situation with school discipline is out of control," and that the incident is another example of what the union calls the "criminalization of the classroom."

Negotiating with Muggers: Usually Not a Good Idea

Tom Leonetti, 51, of Des Moines, Iowa, got away with a risky move when he negotiated with his mugger over how much he would give him.

Leonetti told police he was taking out the trash from his apartment around 1 a.m. Thursday when a white male armed with brass knuckles and a gun approached and demanded his money.

First Leonetti tried the old "that gun's not real" tactic. The mugger basically said it was and asked if Leonetti wanted a demonstration.

Next Leonetti pretending he knew the mugger, calling him "Matt" and talking about his father. Another failed ruse and the mugger didn't fall for it (why would he?).

Leonetti then asked the suspect why he was robbing him. Perhaps he was hoping to talk the mugger to death. The mugger said he was homeless and that all the shelters in Des Moines were full. I suspect he needed it for something snortable or injectable, rather than a shelter.

Leonetti then said he only had $10 on him, but the suspect saw that Leonetti had more than that and demanded all of it. Leonetti agreed to give him $15.

The suspect grabbed the money and fled on foot.

Although Leonetti managed to keep an extra $10, was it really worth the risk? If this crook had been really cutthroat, Leonetti would have been shot and perhaps killed.

Bush Imagines Himself a Horse Thief

Personally I might compare Bush to a part of a horse, somewhere in the posterior region, but if Bush wants to compare himself to a horse thief, that works for me too.

This is a hilarious anecdote about Bush, outlined in the book The Bush Tragedy, a new book by Jacob Weisberg. In the book, Weisberg describes Bush and the painting (above) that he put up in his office in Texas when he was governor.

In an April 1995 memo, Bush invited his staff to come to his office to look at the painting.

I thought I would share with you a recent bit of Texas history which epitomizes our mission.

My very close personal friend from Midland, Joe. J. O'Neill, III, recently loaned me a portrait entitled "A Charge to Keep" by W.H.D. Koerner. This beautiful painting will hang on my wall for the next four years.

The reason I bring this up is that the painting is based upon the Charles Wesley hymn "A Charge to Keep I Have". I am particularly impressed by the second verse of this hymn. The second verse goes like this:

"To serve the present age, my calling to fulfill;
O may it all my powers engage to do my Master's will"

This is our mission. This verse captures our spirit.

Only Bush was oh-so-wrong about the painting. As Weisberg says in his book:

He came to believe that the picture depicted the circuit-riders who spread Methodism across the Alleghenies in the nineteenth century. In other words, the cowboy who looked like Bush was a missionary of his own denomination.

Only that is not the title, message, or meaning of the painting. The artist, W.H.D. Koerner, executed it to illustrate a Western short story entitled "The Slipper Tongue," published in The Saturday Evening Post in 1916. The story is about a smooth-talking horse thief who is caught, and then escapes a lynch mob in the Sand Hills of Nebraska. The illustration depicts the thief fleeing his captors. In the magazine, the illustration bears the caption: "Had His Start Been Fifteen Minutes Longer He Would Not Have Been Caught."

A smooth-talking thief, eh? Now I think I see the resemblance.

LiLo to Write Her Memoirs?

According to MSNBC and OK! Magazine, Lindsay Lohan is short on money and thinks that penning her memoirs might be the solution to her cash-flow problem.

At first thought, you'd wonder who'd want to read the memoirs of a drug- and alcohol-addicted, sex-addicted, multiple-rehab spoiled brat who says things like "I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f*** I want." Oh, wait, everyone (except me).

I guess she plans to do this while sitting in the morgue doing her community service work. Actually, she probably has a lot of time on her hands right now since it seems many are shying away from her in terms of new projects.

Driver Kills Cyclist, Then Sues Cyclist's Family for Damages

Not only did a Spanish driver fatally injure a cyclist in a collision, he was also judged to be at least partially at fault because of excessive speed (it was night and the cyclist was not wearing reflective clothing or a helmet). Tomas Delgado's insurance company paid 17-year-old Enaitz Iriondo's family €33,000 because of this.

However, now Delgade is suing for €20,000 from the family because of damage to his Audi A8 as well as the cost of renting another car during the repair period.

"I'm also a victim in all of this, you can't fix the lad's problems, but you can fix mine," Delgado said.

Previously the family said they had felt sorry for Delgado over the guilt he must have felt. Obviously he's not feeling much, and the family is now disgusted at his obvious concern for money and only money.

"This was the final straw, a kick in the teeth," the youth's mother Rosa Trinidad said.

The final decision on the lawsuit is scheduled for January 30th.

Angelina Pregnant with Twins

According to both X17 and Star Magazine, Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. According to a source close to Jolie, she only found out about the twins this week.

This would bring the Jolie - Pitt clan up to six children total. Rumors of pregnancy have run rampant since Jolie appeared at the Critics' Choice awards on January 7 looking "weightier" than normal. At the same time, while others drank champagne and beer, she drank only water.

It's possible she knew she was pregnant but only discovered the twins this week, per the source.

According to Star, a second source said, "Brad and Angelina are absolutely ecstatic. But I still think there will be more adoptions to come."

Hmmm, wonder if they're trying for a baseball team.

Fox News Mocks Heath Ledger's Death - Twice

Fox News radio host John Gibson mocked Heath Ledger's death yesterday. On his radio show, he played a clip of the quote, "I wish I knew how to quit you" from Ledger's movie Brokeback Mountain, adding, "Well, he found out how to quit you."

Mocking him further, Gibson played another clip from Brokeback Mountain in which Ledger said, "We’re dead," followed by Gibson's own mocking version of "We’re dead" before playing the audio clip again.

Further, Gibson went back and forth with Tom Sullivan, implying Ledger committed suicide over an issue such as the stock market and the Democratic debate.

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said ...

GIBSON: And said, "Oh my God."

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

Later he said, "I think he watched the Clinton / Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, because he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant. Good looking, wears a suit well, but should just leave the stage."

Listen to the first audio clip here.
If I run out of bandwidth (and I probably will) download from here.

Today Gibson defended himself from criticism over yesterday's show, saying:

GIBSON: I mean, I feel bad about his death, but that's no, that's no point ...

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: I wish I knew how to quit you.

GIBSON: There's no point in passing up a good joke. I mean, how many months did we live off that line, Brokeback Mountain?

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: I wish I knew how to quit you.

ANGRY RICH: Several.

GIBSON: I mean, it was going on for months and months and months.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN CLIP: Wooee, yeah!

GIBSON: I’m not giving that up.

Later, after being told by Angry Rich that he was accused of being a "closet homosexual," Gibson added, "Well, I'm still breathing; there's a difference right there."

Listen to the second audio clip here.
If I run out of bandwidth (and I probably will) download from here.

Hooters to Celebrate 25th Anniversary - Every Month

Yesterday Hooters announced a promotion to celebrate its 25th anniversary - one that will include a party at every Hooters worldwide on the 25th of every month this year. Hey, that's tomorrow! Yep, and it'll start at 11AM tomorrow. Prizes, too!

According to a press release:

On the 25^th of every month this year, guests who come into Hooters will have a chance to instantly win $25,000 or be 1 of 25 guaranteed $1,000 winners around the country. Every customer can also obtain a Hooters Passport to complete by the end of the year. After all 25 spots on the passport have been stamped from different Hooters restaurants around the world, guests will automatically receive a wing party certificate and be entered into a $25,000 drawing.

Here's the best part: a video announcement. Watch it.

Ann Coulter Defends Use of Confederate Flag With Eisenhower, Nimitz

Wow, I can't believe that people still defend the Confederate flag, and I certainly can't believe the way Coulter defends it. This exchange occurred on the 1/18/08 Hannity & Colmes.

Coulter said: "This really isn’t a liberal/conservative thing tonight. It’s a Northern/Southern thing (giggles)."

Coulter also said the flag was considered a symbol of heritage in the South. She added:

"The majority of military bases in this country are named after Confederate officers. Eisenhower, Nimitz, ummmmm, the list of southerners in our military is legion. That is what it stands for."

They are? Hmmm, last time I looked, Eisenhower and Nimitz weren't around during the Civil War.

Watch the video.

Bug Foggers Cause Explosion, Blow Roof Off House

Honestly, I didn't know this myself, and I tend to try to keep house explosions at a minimum. It never occurred to me, although now it makes sense. A house being "fogged" with bug foggers that you might buy at Target had its roof blasted off when the foggers exploded - due to a pilot light.

According to Fire Batallion Chief B. Streck, the vapor from the foggers ignited when they reached the kitchen stove's pilot light. Although the roof did indeed get blasted off (a few inches), it reset itself on top of the house, held on only by gravity.

Naturally no one was in the Galveston, Texas house, as most people tend to leave when they fog a house.

Streck said said anyone using a fogger should put out all pilot lights before activating them. So now we know.

Heath Ledger Funeral to be Picketed by "Church"

Westboro Baptist Church, which strikes many as a gay hate group or a cult more than a church, has announced its intention to picket and protest at Heath Ledger's funeral. This is obviously over Brokeback Mountain, which gave WBC fits when it was released.

Simply amazing, as that funeral will be attended by all sorts of people, including a lot of press and many celebrities. I guess, however, they will get what they want: publicity.

Uh, hey, WBC: it was a movie! Heath Ledger wasn't gay!

Click the above image to see the PDF from their site (their site is SLOW, though, so I also uploaded it here).

Octopus, Mr. Potato Head Make Strange Pals

Remember that earlier story about a swan who had "mated" with a swan-shaped pedal boat in Germany? Well, Blue Reef Aquarium in the U.K. can top that, with an octopus seemingly enamored of - Mr. Potato Head.

It was a gag Christmas present, but Louis the giant Pacific octopus, has fallen for - Mr. Potato Head Opti-Mash Prime.

This version of Mr. Potato Head comes dressed as Optimus Prime, the fictional commander of the heroic Autobots in the Transformers movie from 2007.

According to Blue Reef Curator Matt Slater, "Its bright colours, strange shape and moveable parts make it fascinating for Louis. There's even a secret space within Mr Potato Head that allows us to hide tasty treats inside and that perhaps more than anything has resulted in him becoming such a hit."

"Louis is well known for his curiosity and intelligence. We've devised a series of puzzles, games and toys to ensure he's getting the mental stimulation he needs but Mr Potato Head is definitely his favourite at the moment."

Well, now I've seen everything - although that's what I thought when I heard about the swan.

Florida Street Closed Due to "Cookie Scare"

Florida seems to have issues with street closures over mundane items. Earlier it was a typewriter, and now an empty cookie tin. Last time it was Sarasota; this time Orlando.

The intersection of Orange Avenue and South Street was closed because of a "suspicious package" 911 call. The fire department responded and shut down the streets.

I'm wondering just how bad things have become in our "society of fear" that we can't recognize a cookie tin for what it is? I suppose it could have been a cookie tin with explosives in it -- at least, that's what the fear-mongerers would want us to believe.

At any rate, I hope they didn't have to detonate it, as they did with the typewriter, to determine it was nothing.

"Too Old for the Presidency," McCain Threatens to Sic His Mom on Norris

After actor Chuck Norris, a Mike Huckabee supporter, said that John McCain was too old to withstand the stress of being president, McCain threatened to call in the big guns: his mother.

At a fundraiser for Huckabee on Sunday, Chuck Norris said, "I didn't pick John to support because I'm just afraid that the vice president would wind up taking over his job in that four-year presidency."

It should be noted that while McCain is 71, Norris is 67.

On Monday McCain said at a news conference, "I'm going to send my 95-year-old mother to just go over and wash Chuck Norris' mouth out with soap."

This isn't the first time McCain's age has been brought up during the campaign. In September a high school age questioner brought it up, to which McCain replied, "Thanks for the question, you little jerk. You're drafted."

Bill Clinton Nods Off During MLK Award Presentation: Video

Since Bill Clinton was positioned directly behind the speaker, this probably wasn't a good time for him to fall alseep. Unfortunately, he needed a few zzz's.

We shouldn't blame Clinton, though. After all, as long ago as 1993, he admitted to Dan Rather that he enjoyed the occasional nap.

If I can take a nap, even 15 or 20 minutes in the middle of the day, it is really invigorating to me. On the days when I'm a little short of sleep, I try to work it out so that I can sneak off and just lie down for 15 minutes, a half an hour, and it really makes all the difference in the world.

Watch the video:

Moynahan Masks to Throw Tom Brady Off

It's probably not as good as having a Jessica Simpson look-alike show up for a DAL game to jinx Tony Romo - or maybe it's better? A local radio station wants listeners to download and wear a Bridget Moynahan mask to psyche out Tom Brady during the Super Bowl. They want a sea of Moynahan's to really mess with his mind.

Of course, the history of Moynahan and Brady is well-known, with her getting pregnant right around the time they broke up -- which was also very close to when he started dating Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen.

Q1043 wants listeners to:

1.) Download from Q1043.com
2.) Print out Bridget Moynahan mask
3.) Cut along dotted lines
4.) Psyche out Tom Brady

They don't have permalinks to their site, but you should be able to get the mask from the link above, at any rate. They did customize Moynahan a little by giving her Q1043 earrings.

Cell Phone Sale Results in Jail Time

What do they say about donating or selling computers? Wipe the hard drive. The same thing applies to cell phones and videos and photos you might take, as an Ocala, Florida woman learned the hard way.

Aisha Bowen, 18, is a day care worker in Ocala. She was arrested after selling her cell phone; the phone contained video, taken by Bowen's roommate of her striking a 10-month-old baby several times.

The new owner turned the phone over to police after finding the video.

BTW, since most people have to have some sort of storage card to record any meaningful amount of video on a cell phone, another tip: remove the card if you sell or donate the phone! Of course, I'm concerned about this for honest, law-abiding folks; this person got what she deserved.

Video: Britney on Adnan: "Never Met Him"

Looks like the stories of Britney moving on from Adnan Ghalib and even filing a restraining order against him are correct.

When asked on Sunday night, "You have something to tell Adnan right now?"

Britney replied (in her faux British accent): "I don't know who that is."

"You don't know who that is. That's awesome."

Britney: "I've never met him before."

The exchange is about 2:50 into the clip. The story is that Britney, finally waking up I suppose (or perhaps, with Sam Lutfi's influence), realized that Adnan was using her to get exclusive photos, nothing more.

Also, when asked to help a homeless man, Spears said "You are better off being homeless than being me, sir."

Watch the video:

Jesus Taken Hostage Over Dog Droppings

Originally, it seemed that neighbors of Jean Mansel had stolen her cement statue of Jesus, holding it ransom because they felt she wasn't picking up after her dogs. Now it's not so clear.

Thursday Jean and her husband discovered the statue missing. She considers the statue, given to her by her late uncle, an heirloom.

Jean said, "My husband got a phone call and a real graspy voice over the phone said 'check your mailbox'." In the mailbox was a ransom note.

The note read:

“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

The reference to weiners is because Jean has dachshunds. She admitted there was a complaint last year over her four dogs, but that she has cleaned up after them ever since.

Strangely, the tale ends with the statue returned, not by neighbors, but by family members. Jean declined to explain further, explaining it was now a family matter.

Huh. A simple prank? Who knows?

Under Pressure, Canada to Remove U.S. From Torture List

Last week CTV revealed that the United States and Israel had been put on a list that they give to their diplomats during a "torture awareness workshop," warning of countries in which they may face torture.

The aim of the workshop: to teach diplomats who visit Canadians in foreign jails how to tell if they've been tortured. It also listed countries and places with greater risks of torture. The list includes Syria, Iran, Afghanistan, and China. But surprisingly, it also included the United States, Guantanamo Bay, and Israel.

It notes specific "U.S. interrogation techniquies (sic)," which include "forced nudity, isolation, and sleep deprivation." The U.S. has repeatedly denied allegations by international groups that it tortures prisoners captured in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. However, U.S. officials have refused to comment on the Canadian list.

The feedback from some groups, such as Amnesty International, was positive, because it's calling a spade a spade, after all. Alex Neve of Amnesty International said:

"These are countries where, sadly, the record is clear -- torture and ill treatment happens."

Apparently feedback from some powerful sources was not quite so positive, as Canada's foreign minister, Maxime Bernier, apologized and said Canada would remove the "offending entries" from the manual in question. He said,

"It contains a list that wrongly includes some of our closest allies. I have directed that the manual be reviewed and rewritten. The manual is neither a policy document nor a statement of policy. As such, it does not convey the government's views or positions."

In other words, Canada caved. Amnesty International Canada criticized the move, stating,

"When it comes to an issue like torture, the government’s main concern should not be embarrassing allies."

Bill O' Reilly's "No Homeless Vets" Claim Disproved: Video

On January 4th, Bill O' Reilly denied the existence of any homeless vets in the United States. Brave New Films visited Homeless Vets – a non-profit organization dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk veterans – so that they could speak with some homeless veterans themselves, on camera.

Anyone who lives in a city with a large homeless population will know just how uninformed O'Reilly's comment was. In fact, a study last year showed that although veterans comprise 11% of the U.S. population, they make up over 25% of the homeless population.

On Brave New Films' FoxAttacks website, the video’s co-producer Jonathan Kim says:

I talked to over a dozen homeless vets, some who had served as far back as the Korean War, and showed them the clips of BOR denying or dismissing their existence. The reactions to the clips were quite similar — a shaking of the head in disbelief, a derisive chuckle or snort, and a deep sigh when the videos were over.

If you'd like you can sign the letter demanding that O'Reilly apologize here.

Watch the video.

Britney Filing Restraining Order Against Adnan?

The news about Britney and Adnan is both conflicting and confusing. Some say Spears has added him to her will, while X17 Online says they have an exclusive: two of their photographers spent four hours with Spears and Sam Lutfi, and Sam showed them a restraining order against Adnan Ghalib.

According to X17, after a few hours chatting up the photographers, Sam pulled a paper out of his pocket (strange place to keep it, no?) and showeed it to some X17ers.

At one point in the discussion, Sam took a paper out of his pocket -- it was a restraining order against Adnan Ghalib. He said, "Look at this!"

Britney expressed disappointment and anger toward Adnan for being "set-up" in photographs that Adnan and his agency have sold of Britney and Adnan together.

Strange how Britney seems to freely spend time with paparazzi, but whatever. Meanwhile TMZ was in touch with Adnan, who said he knew nothing about the restraining order.

Let's say both stories are true. Considering that according to psychologist Lillian Glass Spears is suffering from cyclothymia, which is a similar to bipolar disorder (actually considered a less severe form) in which the mood swings are less severe but more rapid, this actually might make sense.

A period of mania in which he was put into her will, and then a period of depression in which he was removed. It could in fact be true. Still, with Spears, there is undoubtedly more to come.

Mark the Date: One More Year of Bush

In case you've noticed one of the bumper stickers with 1/20/2009 on them, yet aren't sure what they are all about, that will be the Inauguration Day of Bush's successor. In other words, one year from today, "The End."

Just a reminder, though, for those who'd like to see him leave sooner rather than later, let's not forget, this is a Leap Year, right, so he gets 366 days of power.

At any rate, as we close into the end of his Presidency, we also close in on his "end of term" pardons ("Scooter" Libby?) and possibly a strike against Iran, if they (Bush and Cheney) choose to ignore the NIE report before they leave office.

It's the light at the end of the tunnel, but let's remember: the next President could be worse than what we have now (though it's hard to imagine), and depending on who's elected, I might just be moving to Canada.

Love and Sex with Robots: Author Speaks to Stephen Colbert

As Stephen says, "Great, now I'll need a restraining order against my 4-slice toaster."

The book is Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships. The author, David Levy, believes that within the next few decades robots will be developed that people will not have sex with, but fall in love with and even marry.

Stephen: "Why would people establish a relationship with a machine?"

Levy: "The most common reason, I think, at the beginning will be that there are millions of people out there in the world who for one reason or another can't establish a normal relationship with humans. They're lonely, they're miserable, and robots, when they're sophisticated enough will be an excellent alternative."

Stephen: "Are these people who can't establish a relationship with other human beings, are they by any chance people who write about Love and Sex with Robots?"

Levy: "No, no."

Stephen: "So this isn't for you, this is for the other people."

Hilarious. Watch the video:

Smoke-Free Means Customer-Free in China

It was a nice idea, but apparently China isn't ready to admit that smoking is bad for your health.

Meizhou Dongpo is Beijing's first smoke-free restaurant chain, and while it has less ashtrays around than other restaurants, it also has less customers.

"We figure that, if we're going to die, at least we're going to die honorably," said Guo Xiaodong, the deputy director of the restaurant chain.

"We are happy to be the first Chinese restaurant in Beijing to ban smoking, but we may not be able to afford the drop in customers," he added. "At least we'll be remembered for championing the cause."

"For the past three months, our occupancy rate has dropped to about 80 percent of that enjoyed by other restaurants across the street," Manager Li Yanmei told China Daily last week.

On Monday the the 200-day countdown to the Olympics starts, and though Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao has promised a "smoke-free Olympics," there have been no clear rules issued.

Beijing sent letters asking 30,000 restaurents to ban smoking, but so far only Meizhou Dongpo has complied - and is suffering for it.

Typical Person Lies 88,000 Times in a Lifetime

A survey conducted by U.K. flavored vodka firm WKD shows that each of us ... or at least, those in the U.K. ... lie an average of 4 times a day, 1460 times a year, and 88,000 times in a lifetime. These are, of course, the little white lies or fibs we often tell.

Assorted tidbits from the survey,

1) "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine." (28%)
2) "It's nice to see you."
3) “I haven’t got any cash on me.”
8) “No, your bum doesn’t look big in that”.
10) What text?”
12) "Of course I love you."
13) “Our server was down”
16) "My battery died”.

And men lie more often than women, 5 times a day to women's three (as if we needed a study to figure this out).

Dirty Tricks in Nevada? Calls Target "Barack Hussein Obama"

The Obama campaign has released a recording of a phone call which they claim went out to numerous people in Nevada. The recording says Obama's rarely used middle name "Hussein" four times, emphasizing it.

It's hard to understand, but what I can make out is:

"I'm calling with some important information about Barack Hussein Obama. Barack Hussein Obama says he doesn't take money from Washington lobbyists or special interest groups but the record is clear that he does. In fact, Barack Hussein Obama has taken millions of dollars from federal lobbying firms, Wall Street garbled and Big Oil and pharmaceutical companies. It's all there on the record, the facts are clear; you just can't take a chance on Barack Hussein Obama.

Whew. Is the intent obvious enough? Listen to the MP3 here.

Arrest Britney: Dr. Drew

Dr. Drew Pinsky (and I'm sure you've heard of him or seen him) is an American board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. He told Page Six that although some are critical of Britney's family for not getting her the help she obviously needs, they can't simply get her committed.

In fact, he said that California law makes getting her involuntarily committed nearly impossible.

His solution: arrest her.

She needs to be arrested and have the judicial system order her into a mandated treatment program. If her family or her friends know she is engaging in illegal activities, they need to call the police and have her arrested. This is probably the only way she will ever get the help that she obviously so needs.

As we saw with Britney's brief hospital stay, she was let out early because she was determined to not be a harm to herself or others. She would have to have a severe medical condition such as dementia in order for her family to have any power over her medical treatment.

Dementia? Based on her recent activity with British accents and nude shopping tantrums - she may not be far from that.

Man Beats DWI Rap: "Too Cheap to Get Drunk"

A Canadian man won a challenge of his breathalyzer test, telling the judge he was too cheap to get drunk.

According to the test, Thomas Wood had a BAC of 0.13, which exceeded the legal limit 0.08. However, a blood-alcohol expert from Vancouver testified that he would have needed to drink nearly four bottles of beer in order for him to have a high enough blood alcohol level to fail the breathalyzer test.

Yet Wood said that although he drank a pint and a glass of draft beer over the course of 2½ hours, he was too cheap to drink the necessary amount of alcohol in one night to fail the BAC test.

Territorial court Judge Cunliffe Barnett dismissed the charges in a written decision, writing:

"Mr. Wood says that he is 'quite cheap,' and that for that and other reasons, it is his custom to restrict his drinking, as he says he did that evening. When I consider all the remaining relevant evidence and testimony, I cannot say that I am convinced by Mr. Wood's testimony; far from it, but Mr. Wood does not bear the burden of proving his innocence. He is required only to raise a reasonable doubt, and I find that he has done that."

While of course the prosecutors could appeal, I have a "reasonable doubt" that they will.

Congressional Candidate Cuts the Fat with Photoshop

A picture is worth 1,000 words, at at least a few pounds. A mailer that Congressional candidate and former Sugar Land, TX mayor Dean Hrbacek sent to voters this week says, "Dean's record speaks for itself."

The doctored photo speaks well, too. The picture on the mailer is actually a Photoshopped image of Hrbacek's head on a thinner man's body.

According to his campaign manager, Scott Broschart (who admitted the fakery), Hrbacek has been too busy meeting voters in the 22nd Congressional District to sit for a photo session. So they took a photo of his head and slapped it on the thinner body.

"He may appreciate that we took a few pounds off him," Broschart said. "I think the voters ... are more concerned with the issues as opposed to pretty photo shoots," he added.

On the other hand, you'll recall what a big deal was made over the pictures of Hillary Clinton looking "really old." Looks earn a lot in campaigns.

Britney Gets Canned from Film

A few weeks ago, it was reported that Britney was in talks to work on a low-budget thriller called Memoirs of a Medicated Child. Well that's all over, as thankfully, we no longer have to worry about being subjected to her on film again (as in Crossroads).

Sources on the film told Extra that "Even with an accepted $3 million offer on the table and negotiations being finalized, producers decided to can Brit."

Those same sources said that Peter Falk’s niece, Samantha Falk, will replace Spears (Falk indicates her selection on her MySpace page); production is scheduled to begin in early spring.

Esteban Colberto (Stephen Colbert) vs. Lou Dobbs

No writers? No problem.

It's no secret how Lou Dobbs feels about illegal immigrants, and although Stephen Colbert couldn't get Lou Dobbs on his show Thursday night, he did get a tape of an interview of Dobbs by Stephen's good friend, Esteban Colberto on sister station Unamundo, on his show Colberto Reporto Gigante.

Hilarity ensued, including Colberto having to cut through a border fence to get to the interview. Colberto conducted the entire interview in Spanish, while Dobbs answered in English.

Before you give credit to Lou Dobbs for having a good sense of humor and going through with this, it should be noted that the answers from Dobbs were dubbed in from a prior Colbert report interview. Well, still, anyone going on Colbert's show has to have a good sense of humor.

Part of the giveaway was the plug for Dobbs' book, "War on the Middle Class," which came out quite some time ago. Still, the dubbing was pretty seamless.

Quite honestly, it's hilarious. Watch and laugh out loud (I did).

Obama's SF Office Converted from Bong Shop

You rent whatever real estate space you can get, I suppose. It turns out Barack Obama's San Francisco office is a former bong shop.

While the Northern California headquarters is in Oakland, volunteers raised enough cash to open a San Francisco branch. According to a Huffington Post tipster, he overheard the following exchange while registering to vote:

"Hey, didn't this used to be West Coast Growers?"

Response: Yes.

Skateboarders: Oh man, what happened to West Coast Growers?

Response: I don't know, they shut down.

If you Google for West Coast Growers in San Francisco, they're still listed there at 1874 Market St, though. The linked website, however, is in Grass Valley, which seems appropriate, no?

Zoo Victim Admits Taunting Tiger: Police Documents

Time for Mark Geragos to bail, I think. According to court documents filed Thursday and obtained by the San Francisco Chronicle, not only did the victims in the Christmas Day attack at the San Francisco Zoo taunt the tiger, they all had alcohol in their systems and one was legally intoxicated.

Carlos Sousa, Jr.'s father was quoted in the affidavit as saying he spoke with 19-year-old victim Paul Dhaliwal by telephone after the attack. Dhaliwal told him that the three yelled and waved at the tiger while standing atop the railing of the tiger's exhibit, but insisted they never threw anything at the tiger.

Dhaliwal told Sousa that "when they got down they heard a noise in the bushes, and the tiger was jumping out of the bushes on him."

Meanwhile, test results for Dhaliwal showed that his BAC was 0.16. The legal limit for in California is .08. Kulbir Dhaliwal, his 24-year-old brother, had a BAC of 0.04 while Carlos Sousa Jr. had a BAC of 0.02.

All three also had marijuana in their systems. Kulbir Dhaliwal told police that the three had smoked pot and each had "a couple shots of vodka" before going to the zoo that day.

Police were seeking a search warrant to examine the 2002 BMW belonging to Kulbir and the brothers' cell phones.

Although many will say taunting is irrelevant, standing on top of the railing? That's just asking for it. On the other hand, the fence was too low, and the Zoo has had one near-escape and one escape since the incident.

Still, with all this evidence, I hope any sort of lawsuit the brothers may have been planning is derailed. Based on this, although I definitely feel for the victim and his family, I also feel for the tiger, who likely deserved a better fate, as she was acting like a wild animal, which she was.

Boomerangs Do Come Back --- Some Just Take 25 Years

Well, they're designed to come back, aren't they? Officials in Mount Isa, an Australian Outback town, were surprised to receive a package containing a boomerang, along with a note saying he had stolen it 25 years earlier from a museum in Mount Isa.

The package was sent to the Frank Aston Underground Museum, now closed. Besides the note and boomerang, there was a donation to the museum enclosed.

The note said:

"I removed this back in 1983 when I was younger and dumber. It was the wrong thing to do. I'm sorry, and I'm going to send it back."

Mount Isa's Mayor, Ron McCullough, said the envelope included the full name and address of the guilt-ridden thief. "We might write a letter to the gentleman thanking him for his pang of conscience," he said.

Britney's Obituary Already Penned by AP - Just in Case

Frequently obituaries are pre-written by media, and kept on hand in case of a death. Usually those obituaries are written for people older, when you would expect there is a real chance of them dying. In this case, despite her youth, AP has admitted they already have an obituary written for Britney Spears.

AP Entertainment Editor Jesse Washington told US Magazine:

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now. Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now…but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

She added that AP has a "pretty extensive obituary operation," and that staffers are "constantly adding people."

Well yes, as I said that's typical, but certainly not for someone of Spears' age. But then what about her is normal or typical?

On the other hand I wonder if they have one pre-written for Lindsay Lohan, too?

Longer-Legged People More Attractive, Scientists Say

This just goes to show you that a) Polish scientists have a lot of time on their hands, b) they also have an "in" at getting grants.

Scientists led by Dr. Boguslaw Pawlowski at Wroclaw University, asked 218 male and female volunteers to rate seven silhouettes of a man and woman in order of attractiveness. The length of the silhouoettes' legs were altered to make them equal to the Polish average or longer by 5%, 10% or 15%.

Results indicate that to those surveyed, people whose legs were 5% longer than average were rated most attractive, while average length was 2nd and 10% longer than normal length was 3rd.

Dr. Pawlowski, said that long legs signal health, because short legs are linked with a higher risk of cardiovascular disease and type II diabetes and with higher levels of triglycerides.

And yes, that's Kylie Minogue above, who in the past has been named as having the "best legs in show business."

California Board of Psychology to Investigate Dr. Phil?

I've said before my wife and other psychologists are not impressed by the "TV psychology" Dr. Phil "practices" on his show, but I didn't realize he wasn't licensed.

A complaint has been filed (.PDF) with the California Board of Psychology. When Dr. Phil attempted to counsel Britney he was technically practicing without a license which is a felony, according to TMZ.

According to the complaint, filed by another psychologist, in addition to practicing without a license (Dr. Phil has never had a California license and retired his Texas license in 2006), Dr. Phil violated HIPAA laws by "discussing or divulging a patient's medical condition ... with the media," regarding a press release issued by Dr. Phil.

My wife would agree that he was skating on thin ice with regards to HIPAA.

On the other hand, perhaps this complainant is just jealous of Dr. Phil's fame and wealth. The complaint notes that a petition is being circulated to remove the Dr. Phil show from the airwaves, because he is not allowed to use the Dr. title without a license.

Larry Craig Gets Help --- from the ACLU

Larry Craig's getting help from a source he probably didn't expect: the ACLU.

We know that Craig unsuccessfully tried to get his guilty plea revoked, but despite failing that, has decided to serve out his term, which ends in 2009.

On Tuesday the ACLU filed a brief citing a Minnesota Supreme Court ruling 38 years ago that found that people who have sex in closed stalls in public restrooms "have a reasonable expectation of privacy."

Okaaaay.

The brief also said, "The government cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Senator Craig was inviting the undercover officer to engage in anything other than sexual intimacy that would not have called attention to itself in a closed stall in the public restroom."

Uh-huh.

You'll recall that according to the incident report on his arrest, Larry Craig said he has a "wide stance" when using a restroom. It seems like the ACLU is taking a wide stance on the amount of leeway to give him.

Astrology Magazine Shuts Down Due to "Unforeseen Circumstances"

Well, you can't get much more ironic than this, can you? The Astrological Magazine has ceased production. According to their website:

We regret to announce that due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, the publication of The Astrological Magazine will cease with the December 2007 issue.

My guess is they didn't use astrology to check their business forecast. Or perhaps they were simply bad at it, explaining the demise of the magazine in the first place.

30th Anniversary of the Most Memorable Moment in TV History

Depending on who you ask, it was either today or January 21, 1978 (StarTrek.com says the 21st, so I'm inclined to believe it, being all things Trek). Either way, it's the most memorable moment in TV history. Not because you want to remember it, but because it's something you'd like to forget but can't burn out of your mind.

Yes, yes, I know many will nominate the Janet Jackson Super Bowl incident, right?

It's the "performance" of Elton John and Bernie Taupin's "Rocket Man" at the 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards show by William Shatner. Unlike most of these clips, this one includes the introduction of Taupin by actress Karen Black.

Watch and be afraid:

Britney Leaves a Suicide Note - NOT

On Tuesday, In Touch said it had been told by a "friend" of Spears that days before the incident which ended up in her being taken to Cedars-Sinai, she wrote a suicide note. According to the report, the note was allegedly found by Sam Lutfi.

"She said in it she was sorry for never making her life what everyone else wanted," the source said. "She mentioned how lonely and unfair life could be, how peaceful death seems and how your mind would finally be at ease. She went on and on about wanting to just rest in peace."

Fortunately, as X17 Online reports, it wasn't true. According to Sam Lutfi, who supposedly found the note, the story is "absolutely, 100% NOT true."

Still, the fact that many blogs and sites jumped on the story - means that they (as well as I) - wouldn't put it past her to pen such a note. She's obviously troubled, and needs to stop running around with Adnan as though nothing happened, and get some help.

Britney Has a Nude Shopping Tantrum

It just gets worse and worse. According to Life & Style, Britney's latest embarrassment occurred at the Betsey Johnson store in the Westfield Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks, on Jan. 13th.

Britney grabbed a bunch of dresses and went into a dressing room. For some reason, she came out a little while later, completely naked!

"I was blown away. Britney's private parts were right in front of me!" a store employee told Life & Style. "I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, 'Get away from me! Don't you f------ come near me!' Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting."

When the two came out, more nutiness.

"I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent. Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone. Then she muttered, 'F--- you!' and left the store."

Wow, so why exactly do we "worship" celebrities? Not just Britney but any of them? The fame and fortune tends to make them into spoiled, selfish people. Human beings are selfish enough without help.

And after the breakdown which landed her in the hospital, why has she not sought any therapy? It's as though nothing ever happened.

Porn Websites a Popular Stop in Dallas Libraries

In what should have been obvious for any free, public web-surfing spot - without filtering software, that is - a casual exam of Internet use at Dallas' J. Erik Jonsson Central Library during a 45-minute period on Dec. 19 found that about 7.5% of Web pages viewed contained pornography.

The Dallas Morning News conducted the unscientific study by scanning a log of web pages obtained through the Texas Public Information Act. According to the paper, about 5,200 of the more than 69,300 Web pages viewed during the examined time period contained material such as full nudity, sexual intercourse or sex acts.

While filtering is an obvious answer, the American Library Association has always been cautious of software filtering, because it tends to inadvertently block sites which should be constitutionally protected.

Still, Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert said, "It's certainly concerning to me. It's surely not appropriate in a public library, and it's not a signal we want to send. We want people to come to our libraries and use them for traditional reasons. Viewing this material - it's clearly not what the computers in the library are there for."

Prisoner Sues Over Injuries While Escaping

It had to happen. In a country where a burglar can sue when he falls through a skylight, why can't a prisoner sue when he injures himself trying to escape? Not only that, Scott Anthony Gomez Jr. is actually suing because he said authorities made it too easy for him to escape.

In his first attempt to escape from the Pueblo County Jail, Gomez pushed up a ceiling tile, hoisted himself into the ventilation system and climbed to the roof. Then he shinnied down the wall on bedsheets. He was caught two days later.

The second time, Gomez again went the ceiling tile route, but as he tried to rappel on bedsheets down the side of the 85-foot building, he fell.

Oops.

"Defendants ... did next to nothing to ensure that the jail was secure and the plaintiff could not escape," says Gomez's lawsuit, which seeks an unspecified amount of money.

Also, Gomez said after his first attempt he warned prison officials that "there were many ways to get out of the facility," according to his lawsuit.

The good thing is Gomez doesn't have to worry any longer. Serving a sentence on his conviction for escape, he is now housed at the Colorado State Penitentiary, considered the most secure in the state's prison system.

Paris Takes Another Pratfall

What can I say? I love Paris in the Fall. Paris Hilton, I guess, still hasn't learned how to handle herself in high heels, as she takes yet another pratfall.

Watch the clip:

Feds Drafting Plan to Monitor All Internet Activity

This will make warrantless wiretapping seem like a walk in the park. In the January 21st print edition of New Yorker magazine, Lawrence Wright's piece on Mike McConnell, Director of National Intelligence, The Spymaster, has some disturbing info about new measures the government is planning. These measures will infringe still further on our privacy - if in fact we have any after they are instituted.

In order for cyberspace to be policed, Internet activity will have to be closely monitored. Ed Giorgio, who is working with McConnell on the plan, said that would mean giving the government the authority to examine the content of any e-mail, file transfer, or Web search. "Google has records that could help in a cyber-investigation," he said. Giorgio warned me, "We have a saying in this business: 'Privacy and security are a zero-sum game.'"

You can also hear Wright interviewed here by Matt Dellinger of the New Yorker. At about 17 minutes into the MP3 file, he says:

We live in a world of an open Internet and we all depend on that. But the openness of it is also what makes it so fragile and vulnerable to attack - to manipulation and destruction by a sinister force. He's (McConnell) has come up with a cybersecurity policy that the president has not announced yet, but it would in many ways revolutionize the relationship between government and industry and also with American citizens.

Every bit of information throughout the Internet could be monitored by the government. This is going to be a very thorny development. It requires Americans giving up the presumption of privacy. But it may be the only way to protect the systems.

The article is called The Spymaster in the January 21st issue of the New Yorker - print version (until they archive it) only.

Bill O'Reilly: "I Should Be on the Supreme Court"

On Thursday night's O'Reilly Factor, Bill had the answer to arguments over Indiana's voter ID law: make him a Supreme Court justice.

The voter ID laws proposed states such as Indiana are accused of disenfranchising poor, senior and minority voters, who either have no means of getting such an ID, or even no way of getting to the appropriate offices to get an ID. Bill's answer:

If I’m on the Supreme Court, as I should be, I say what is the down side of having somebody prove who they are when they come to the polls?

His even more ridiculous statement is "The state, I think, will come and give them the IDs, won't they?"

And as Megyn Kelly correctly says, "No, they won't come and give them the IDs."

What, you actually think state governments, many already in the red, are going to send people from house to house? Naturally the GOP wants these sorts of laws passed since the disenfranchised set of voters normally swing to the Democratic side of the ticket.

Watch the clip:

Jessica Simpson Look-Alike Jinxes Dallas

Despite Tony Romo's great season for Dallas this year, fans were worried about two things: his lack of a playoff win, and Jessica Simpson showing up. After a game in December in which Romo had a terrible game with her in attendance, Dallas WR Terrell Owens basically said she should stay away.

She stayed away yesterday, but the NY Post decided to jinx the Cowboys - and at the same time help the NY Giants - by placing a look-alike behind the Dallas bench.

Lynsey Nordstrom, 21 (above), who is, according to NJ.com, a professional Simpson look-alike, appears to have worked the jinx on Romo, who was 18-of-36 for 201 yards with a TD, but also threw an INT with 9 seconds left that sealed Dallas' fate. NY won 21-17.

Romo made some headlines during the Cowboys' bye week when he jetted off to Cabo for a holiday. Although it was their bye week, it engendered criticism over his commitment to the upcoming game.

Tony Snow: "Everybody Gets It Wrong at the Beginning of a War"

On Friday, former White House spokesperson Tony Snow was a guest on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher.

Discussing the surge, and missteps made in the Iraq War, including dismissing the recommendations of generals to up the number of soldiers being sent to Iraq, Maher and Snow went back-and-forth. Transcript here.

MAHER: [overlapping]—okay, this was suggested to George Bush in 2003. In fact, the smarter people in his administration said to do just that. “We need more boots on the ground. We need more security.” But because he’s stubborn and stupid, he said, “No, let’s do it Rumsfeld’s way. Let’s do it the light way.” So it took him five years to come around to what should have been done five years ago. And – and while he was learning on the job, people paid for that in blood.

SNOW: Okay, you know, this—

MAHER: [overlapping] People paid in blood for him to learn. [applause] [cheers] Even if this did work.

SNOW: Okay, look—

MAHER: Just like now, he’s in – he’s making – he’s over in Israel because, five years later, again – at first, he rejected the idea that America should get involved in an Israeli-Palestinian peace. He rejected North Korea, talking to them. So he comes around to these ideas after all these years, and after all this death.

SNOW: [overlapping] Well, wait a minute. Look, I don’t know where to start, but I’ll start at the beginning. Number one, when it comes to the war, everybody – it’s great to be a backseat general, and everybody gets it wrong at the beginning of a war. But there were plenty of – no, it’s true.

What? Everybody gets it wrong at the beginning of a war? Dang, someone should talk to Hitler - he sure got it right at the beginning of WWII - he just steamrolled over everyone, and screwed up as the war continued. Note: we are not making a comparison between leaders here (for those who might want to start a flame war).

Watch the clip. The exchange with Snow is about 5 1/2 minutes in.

Carp Fed Sake in Strange Japanese Ceremony

It's a ceremony dating back to the Edo Period: carp are forced to consume large quantities of sake as they symbolically take on people's ailments. After drinking the sake, the fish are released into a river.

The ceremony took place on January 7th. People who this year were to reach an age said to require care against disaster -- 25 and 42 for men and 19 and 33 for women -- took part in the ceremony. 62 people prayed for things such as long life and academic achievement.

The ceremony was held at a Shinto shrine. Carp were captured and a woman dressed in a kimono poured a bottle of sacred sake into their mouths before they were released into the river.

It appears they raised the BAC levels of the carp into the comatose range as they first turned belly-up, but eventually recovered and swam off.

The original story in Japanese is here.

Britney's Biggest Court Hearing Ever on Monday?

It all started about 1 1/2 weeks ago with Britney's latest breakdown and could culminate in a hearing scheduled for tomorrow.

According to sources, Britney has been told she'd better show up for tomorrow's hearing and also show complete cooperation if she wants any chance to win back the custody of her children. To this point, however, Britney hasn't been famous for even showing up, much less cooperating.

Commissioner Scott Gordon will reportedly hear eyewitness accounts of last Thursday's events from members of the police and emergency services who were present. That alone could seal her fate.

Since leaving Cedars-Sinai Hospital Spears has not done any of the things you would think a troubled person would: meaning therapy. Instead, she's been traveling with her current beau, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib.

With her visitation rights currently suspended, if tomorrow's hearing is not successful, Britney may not be able to see her kids until April, when the circus, er, custody hearing is set to begin.

Paris Hilton Wins a Harvard Award

Paris Hilton has won an award - from Harvard no less. But it's not exactly an honorary degree or anything. It's the Harvard Lampoon "Woman of the Year" award. As the Harvard Lampoon is a humor magazine, you can see this is all tongue-in-cheek.

However, Regent Releasing distributors of her sure to be critically acclaimed (insert sarcasm here) upcoming movie The Hottie and the Nottie, felt it really had to issue a press release on the subject.

The press release says, in part:

Hilton will be on the Harvard campus on February 6, 2008, to accept the award and speak publicly to the university's student body.

Paris Hilton will receive the Harvard Lampoon "Woman of the Year" award accompanied by a large public ceremony in the middle of Harvard Square. The entire Harvard undergraduate community will be invited to attend this ceremony at which Ms. Hilton is expected to give an acceptance speech.

Paris Hilton is doing a multi-city tour to promote the release of "The HOTTIE & the NOTTIE," which opens in theaters nationwide on February 8th to coincide with Valentine's Day. The tour includes Park City, Dallas, Philadelphia, New York and Los Angeles. The tour begins in Park City on January 20th and concludes with the Harvard visit on February 6th. "The HOTTIE & the NOTTIE" world premiere will be held at the historic Cinerama Dome in Los Angeles on February 4th.

I suppose she should be congratulated for winning something, since she's never going to win a real acting award.

Britney Goes Car Shopping in Her Old Wedding Dress

I wonder if she wakes up every morning trying to top herself. Most women never wear their wedding dress after their ceremony, but here she is out and about in it. Not only that, she was wearing it to go car shopping with her new boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib.

According to People, the two lovebirds went to the Keyes Mercedes-Benz dealership in the San Fernando Valley on Friday afternoon. Spears was wearing the same lacy, short dress from her 2004 wedding to Federline.

"They came in to get an estimate for a new car for him," a sales associate said. "He drives a rental car now. He was looking into the different lease and purchase options for sport cars."

Geez, at least get something ecologically friendly, like a Prius, will ya, Brit?

On the other hand, she may not be paying for the car. "She didn't talk at all and it didn't seem like she was getting the car for him," the sales associate said.

Moron Arrested for DUI. That's Bryan Scott Moron, By the Way

You can't make up stuff this good. A drunk Burleson, TX man was arrested for driving his truck into a home. Yes, that's a moronic thing to do, and he's a Moron all right: Byron Scott Moron to be exact.

According to authorities the 20-year-old Moron was arrested after losing control of his white Chevrolet truck,, striking a mailbox, and continuing into a home.

His BAC level was twice the legal limit. Police also reported that speeding may have played a role in the accident. Being a moron didn't hurt, either.

My thanks to NPR and this week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Lightning Fill in the Blank round for this tidbit of moronic behavior.

Virginia "Abusive Driver" Fees Hit Bicyclist for Over $1K

One day after Gov. Timothy M. Kaine said the Virginia abusive driver fees weren't working, Kajuan Cornish, 19, was ordered to pay a fee of $1,050 for recklessly operating his 18-speed Huffy in an intersection during rush hour. Oops.

The fees were imposed last year for drivers with "egregious" traffic offenses.

Cornish was convicted of "reckless driving" after cutting across a busy intersection. Officer George Evans said drivers had to slow down to avoid hitting Cornish when he crossed the intersection and that he would have written a warning if not the ticket.

"If he gets hit, then we have a mess," Evans said.

Now, I originally thought this was a great idea, if it was imposed on people speeding or driving really recklessly, because many don't care. They can afford the tickets and don't change their driving habits. But a bicyclist?

Cornish will get a chance to appeal in February.

Dog Rushed to E.R. After Owner Attempts to Neuter Him with Rubber Band

As obvious as something like this might seem, the local Humane Society in the San Antonio, Texas area is having to warn people to not try to neuter their pets with a rubber band.

Riley (pictured) was sent to the emergency room at the Humane Society. It's believed his owner tried to neuter him with a rubber band. Be glad I didn't post a photo with the painful part of Riley's body pictured.

Unfortunately, Riley's owner isn't the only one who thinks you can neuter pets this way, as there was a Yahoo! Answers question about the subject, with the questioner basically being called a moron by the respondents, much as Riley's owner most likely is.

Hot MySpace Photo of Small Town Mayor Spurs Call for Resignation

What do they say about MySpace? Don't put stuff there you're might regret others seeing later. In this case Arlington, Oregon mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist has no apologies for her critics, but the picture above has gotten her into hot water.

Admittedly she's posing on one of the town's fire engines (she's also the fire department's executive secretary), but the photos are three years old, taken - and posted - before she was mayor.

The town isn't exactly huge, with only 524 residents as of the 2000 census. However, 75 of them showed up at this week's city council meeting (the norm is about 10).

"Due to the seriousness of these concerns we are asking for the mayor's immediate resignation," resident Ron Miller said. "If she is unwilling to resign, we are prepared to proceed with a recall petition on the mayor and the councilpersons that we feel are not representing the best interests of the citizens of Arlington"

Although they listed other issues besides posing in lingerie, it looks like the picture was the last bra, er, straw.

Carmen Kontur-Gronquist stance has always been "That's my personal life. It has nothing to do with my mayor's position."

Let's be honest though: that is one hot picture, she definitely has (or had) a fine body, and she's definitely more conservative now (see picture at left).

Note also that her MySpace profile is now hidden to all but friends.

"Spousal Theft" Costs Millionaire $750,000

A Mississippi law allowed Johnny Valentine (ironic name, no?) to sue businessman Jerry Fitch Sr. for loss of companionship, love, and sex when his wife Sandra left him.

Sandra Valentine and Fitch began an affair when Sandra worked for him. When Sandra became pregnant, Johnny, already suspecting an affair, ordered a paternity test which showed the child was not his. He then filed for divorce and sued Fitch under the "alienation of affection" law still on the books in Mississippi and 6 other states (Hawaii, Illinois, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah).

Valentine won $750,000 in court, and the verdict was upheld by the State Supreme Court. Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear the case, ending any appeals.

Not that it necessarily had anything to do with Sandra's decision to leave Johnny, but he was a plumber, while Fitch is a millionaire. Just something to keep in mind.

While it seems likely that revenge certainly played a role in the lawsuit, that's what happens when laws like this stay on the books!

I'm wondering, since Fitch was also married at the time of the affair, if he's getting sued by his ex-wife as well.

Oregon Woman Arrested with .72 BAC

The BAC level for drunk driving in Oregon is .08. So this is nine times the legal limit. Not only that, according to the table below, from a Virginia Tech site for students, indicates that over .40 ought to lead to coma or death.

Of course, Terri Comer, 42 (pictured in a 2006 mug shot for a similar drunk driving arrest), was indeed discovered unconscious in her car on December 28th of last year. So that sure makes sense. And the BAC level was determined with a blood test, so you can't blame it on a breathalyzer.

I'm not sure how someone can survive with that high a BAC. The only thing I can think is that she was a major alcoholic and thus somewhat tolerant of greater amounts of alcohol. Otherwise I really don't know.

Crooked-Necked Giraffe Dies at Santa Barbara Zoo

One of the Santa Barbara Zoo’s most recognizable and beloved animals, Gemina the crooked-necked giraffe, was euthanized Wednesday. She was 21 years old.

"We observed a decline in her appetite over the past two weeks and she had stopped eating all together,” said Alan Varsik, the Zoo’s Director of Animal Programs and Conservation. “The welfare of our animals is the number one concern here at the Santa Barbara Zoo and her declining condition appeared to affect her quality of life. We did everything we could but the time came when we had to make the humane decision. She was off exhibit in the giraffe barn when she died."

"Though a few giraffes in captivity have been known to live into their late-twenties, reaching age 21 is considered an achievement," said Rich Block, Zoo CEO & Director. "She was a great animal ambassador, showing that differences can be accepted and even celebrated. She will be missed."

The kink in Gemina's neck began around the age of 3, and continued through her life. It's unknown what the cause of the was, despite having x-rayed her neck.

A necropsy is to be conducted, but the results will not be known for several weeks.

The zoo made a video about Gemina to celebrate her 21st birthday. Watch it below.

Trail of Feces Leads to "Stinking Drunk" Driver

Before we go further, I should emphasize: they were dog feces. He wasn't that drunk.

In Durham, NC, 18-year-old Josue Herrios-Coronilla drove his black Camaro into the yard of Bill McDonald, the owner of four dogs, at about 11PM Monday night. While the driver took off, leaving the car, he managed to step in a "land mine."

When police arrived, they followed the evidence (like Grissom on C.S.I. always says to do) and, stopping a white van driving in their direction, noticed the passenger stank of guilt - and more. Evidence was all over his shoes, as well.

Herrios-Coronilla was arrested and charged with DUI and underage drinking .

Houston Zoo Lets Visitors Play "Tug of War" with Lions

The video below, taken by Houston attorney Jesse Ayala, was taken two days after the tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo last December. The video shows caretakers at the Houston Zoo throwing a 20-pound chunk of raw meat tied onto a rope into a lion’s pen. Guests then get to play tug-of-war with the lion.

Animal behaviorist Louis Dorfman said this type of play with an animal eating meat does nothing more than taunt him. “It’s reinforcing he should hate humans being around because humans will try to take his most precious possession which is his food away from him."

Based on what may be a taunting incident, though unconfirmed, at SF, if this were indeed the case, it wouldn't be advised.

However, zoo officials disagree.

Rick Barongi, Houston Zoo Director, said “This meat is a treat. They’re not starving. These guys get fed. They have a full compliment of diet before this is done. That was a big key to this argument. They get aggressive over food. They do if they’re hungry. We don’t do it if they’re hungry. This is an extra treat for the animals."

Okaaaaay. As long as they don't get the idea that the guests playing tug-of-war with them are an extra treat as well. The zoo said it has been doing this tug-of-war "game" for 3 years.

Watch the video:

Spears Family Spokesperson Shreds Dr. Phil

Wednesday on The Today Show, a spokesperson for the Spears family indicated that Dr. Phil had betrayed their trust by disclosing information about his visit with Britney last Saturday, and that those public statements were "inappropriate."

Lou Taylor, a business manager for Spears' mother, Lynne, and younger sister, Jamie Lynn, said the following:

"The family basically extended an invitation of trust for him to come in as a resource to support them, not to go out and make public statements," Taylor said. "Any statement publicly that he made, because he was brought in under this cloak of trust, are just inappropriate. So, you know, we feel like, to set the record straight we need to say that."

Meredith Viera: "So were they ever going to do a show with him about intervening in an adult child's life, when that child has trouble?"

"No they were not."

Taylor continued, saying that Dr. Phil broached the idea of the show, but it was eventually decided by the "team" that such a show would be "detrimental" to all concerned.

Well, looks like Dr. Phil is in even more hot water. This just reinforces, I guess, the opinion of clinical psychologists like my wife who really don't think much of Dr. Phil.

Watch the clip:

Dog Shoots, Kills Hunter

No joke. Perry Alvin Price was hunting near Stowell, about 60 miles east of Houston, Texas, when the incident occurred.

According to reports Price had just shot a goose, and had placed his shotgun in the back of his truck, where his chocolate lab Arthur was. As he reached to unlatch the tailgate, his hunting partner, Daniel Groberg, who was at the front of the truck, heard a blast.

Although no one witnessed the incident, paw prints from the dog were found on the muddy shotgun. The blast went through the tailgate and into Price's leg.

Price later died due to blood loss from his femoral artery.

WTF? Missouri Town Seeks to Ban Swearing in Bars

St. Charles, Missouri is considering a bill to ban swearing, table dancing, indecent music and drinking contests in bars. What, are you trying to take away all their fun?

City Councilman Richard Veit said he was prompted to propose the bill after complaints. "We have people complain from time to time especially about establishments on Main Street getting out of control."

The bill promises to control rowdiness, curb underage drinking and give police some real rules to enforce at area bars.

However, bar owners are upset, and are focusing on the music ban, saying it is a violation of civil rights.

R.T. Weilers owner Marc Rousseau says, "We're dealing with adults here once again and I don't think it's the city's job or the government's job to determine what we can and cannot play in our restaurant."

A meeting to discuss the proposal is set for Jan. 14.

"Victim" Reports Cell Phone Stolen, But Phone Rings in His Pocket When Police Call It

We're off to a fine start for stupid criminals this year. Here we have someone who walked into a police station, reported his cell phone stolen, and then stumbled to explain why it was ringing in his pocket when they called the number he gave them.

A man walked into a Pretoria, South Africa police station complaining that he had been mugged.

"At the end of the interview, he (the detective) rang the complainant's cell phone number, and it rang in the man's pocket," police spokesman Eugene Opperman said. "The shock left him speechless for a few minutes."

He tried to explain the number was incorrect, but then couldn't explain why the phone had the reported serial number and also was the same model reported.

The man was arrested for filing a false report.

I'm at a complete loss as to why anyone would do this, unless they're not too right in the head.

Fire Chief Resigns After Emailing Nude Victim Photos

Umatilla, Florida Fire Chief Richard Shirk has resigned after sharing pictures via email of a fatal accident --- ones that included a picture of the female victim's exposed breast.

Shirk had already been suspended for his actions. Although it's not uncommon for pictures of an accident to be taken and then used for training, in this case, according to Shirk, he had not reviewed the pictures prior to emailing them to the Mount Dora, Eustis and Leesburg fire departments.

Shirk had only been hired in October of 2007. He was given a three-month severance package.

Indian Condom Awareness Video Rises to the Occasion

OK, they have good intentions, but I have to admit this video is hilarious. I have to admit I find most Bollywood stuff hilarious, though. Four men from Andhra Pradesh, a southern state in India have created a song to to spread awareness about condoms. Basically this is a public service ad (PSA), albeit funny.

The men wear condom costumes (notably, with reservoir ends) and sing and dance to a somewhat catchy tune (much as I hate to admit it).

It's a 7 minute video, but part of the tune goes:

Never forget me, I am Nirodh.
I am the condom friend ever useful to you.

Never forget me, I am Nirodh.
I am the condom friend ever useful to you.

I am made in difference colors with fragrance.
I am made in difference colors with fragrance.
I am made in difference colors with fragrance.
I am made in difference colors with fragrance.

I am sealed with Lubricant.
Never forget me, I am Nirodh.
I am the condom friend ever useful to you.

It goes on from there.

Dr Monica Mahajan of Max Hospital said, "It's a great initiative. Condom awareness in India still low and we need such ventures so people understand the importance of using condoms."

Watch the video:

Dr. Phil Cancels Britney "Intervention"

Too much heat for Dr. Phil, I guess, and probably a good decision all around. As you know, Dr. Phil spoke to Britney Spears upon her release from the hospital last week. Her version of the story disputes his somewhat, but they did talk for "some" time.

Dr. Phil was going to tape a show Monday, airing Tuesday, around her meltdown, and including her parents, though likely not her. Well, he's bowed to pressure and has canceled it.

In a statement on his website, Dr. Phil says:

"As was widely reported this weekend, at the request of concerned family members, I visited Britney Spears in the hospital. The details of that visit will, of course, remain private.

"We had planned to tape a Dr. Phil Now show today, focusing not on the tabloid side of Britney’s latest problems, but instead on the very serious issues surrounding this case. Clearly, it is not just Britney's family struggling to find a way to protect adult children who cannot be ordered or compelled to seek help.

"Because the Spears situation is too intense at this time, and out of consideration to the family, I have made the decision not to move forward with the taping at this particular time.

"Britney and her family are in our prayers, and we ask that they be in yours."

Dr. Phil McGraw

As I said, likely a good decision, but what now for Britney? She should enter therapy and start working through her issues. Otherwise things may just slide further downhill.

Man Asks Court Staff to "Mind His Pot"

While going into court last year over a breach of license charge, Wigan, U.K. resident Stephen West asked security what he should do with the cannabis resin in his pocket. Amused, they told him he couldn't take it into court.

So he left it with them. Not only that, the brainy West signed a receipt indicating that the cannabis was his.

You can imagine that he might be charged, right? West, pleaded guilty to possession of the Class C drug and was fined £50 and additionally ordered to pay £43 in court costs.

Make Way for the "Queen of Wii"

According to the tabloid The People, Queen Elizabeth taken Prince William's Wii, which he received from Kate Middleton for Christmas, away from him. Not because he's been naughty, because she likes it!

A source told the tabloid,

When she saw William playing a game after lunch at Sandringham she thought the Nintendo looked tremendous fun and begged to join in. She played a simple ten-pin bowling game and by all accounts was a natural.

It was hilarious. William was in fits of laughter. He was enormously impressed at having such a cool gran.

And although she is 81 the Queen's hand-eye co-ordination was as good as somebody half her age.

The Wii has proven to be very popular with senior citizens (sorry, Your Majesty, but that's what you are!).

And the Queen, while not a technophile, is not unfamiliar with gadgetry, with an iPod she's owned since 2006. Recently she became a YouTuber, posting her Christmas message on YouTube as well as showing it on television.

Report: Britney Had Two Guns, Took "100 Pills in 36 Hours"

According to a report from News of the World (which, being News of the World, who knows how much is true), a panicked call from K-Fed to his lawyers started the Thursday night custody standoff that ended with Britney being carted off to Cedar-Sinai Medical Center.

The tabloid said that Federline panicked after realizing Spears kept the Beretta he had previously given her as a birthday gift in the master bedroom where she was holding the kids.

A source revealed to NOTW,

"Kevin knew she was on the edge and might snap at any time. Knowing there were two firearms in the house, including the Beretta, he wasn't taking any chances - hence the massive police response."

The article also revealed that although not high on illegal drugs, Britney took (over a 36 hour period) nearly 100 pills. The total mix included 2 bottles of Nyquil, 20 Clenbuterols, 18 herbal uppers, 18 Piriton antihistamines, 12 Vicodins, 10 sleeping pills, 8 antacid pills, 1 bottle of Pepto Bismol, 10 Zantacs, 6 Ritalins and 2 full bottles of Oxycontin.

Even over 36 hours, I couldn't see someone living through all that, so I dunno.

She also:

• Pleaded with Kevin to sell her the kids for a multi-million payoff in a tearful phone call
• Fought with bodyguards to hang on to her children, even biting one in the leg
  
• Bashed her own head against the wall in a fit of blind rage

Just how much of this is true and how much is tabloid fantasy is hard to say. The article is very lengthy, and goes into great detail, in fact, but if you'd like you can read the entire article here.

Lawsuit Filed Charging Golf Course "Design Flaw" Allows Spectators to be Hit by Balls

This week's "show me the money" lawsuit comes from Virginia, where the Owl's Creek Golf Course is being sued for $1 million by a woman who was hit by a ball while watching her boyfriend play in the summer of 2006.

According to the lawsuit, Crystal Timpanaro was hit in the left temple and eye by a stray golf ball and seriously injured. The ball came from the 17 hole while she was sitting in a golf cart at the 16th tee. The lawsuit claims that the 16th and 17th holes are poorly designed. and that Owl's Creek should have warned golf spectators about the hazards of the sport.

Haig Kalbian, Timpanaro's attorney acknowledged that spectators and players can expect stray golf balls on any course, but in this case, he argues the 16th and 17th holes are too close to each other and caused the injury.

While it's unclear just how much her injuries are still affecting Timpanaro, and I feel for her, to me this falls into the "not taking responsibility for your own actions" type of frivolous category. You know, like a burglar falling through a skylight and suing. I mean, isn't it obvious you might get hit by a golf ball while on the course? Even taking Kalbian's statement into account, come on.

What do you readers think?

I would not lump this together with a decision last year by the Oregon Court of Appeals, allowing lawsuits for damage to adjacent property, BTW. In those cases the balls were exiting the course and golf courses should ensure no nearby property is hit, but in this case she was on the course.

Kid Shows Up O'Reilly; Bill Won't Admit He Was Wrong

Bill O'Reilly wrote a recent book, Kids are Americans Too, and on his January 2nd show he read a letter from one of those Americans challenging - correctly - one of his assertions in the book. Of course, being who he is, he completely sidestepped the issue and wouldn't admit his mistake.

From the January 2 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor:

O'REILLY: And finally tonight, the mail -- plenty of letters from kids over the holiday; lots of questions about Kids Are Americans Too, which turned out to be a very hot Christmas gift this season.

Courtney Yong, San Francisco: "Mr. O'Reilly, I really enjoyed 'Kids Are Americans Too' but in the first sentence of Chapter 3 you say the Constitution guarantees 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' Isn't that from the Declaration of Independence?"

Another excellent question, Courtney. The reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way. The Declaration was the statement; the Constitution, the instrument.

Whaat? How about saying yes or no?

Well, yeah Courtney, you're right? In fact the Declaration of Independence it says:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

While in O'Reilly's book he says (in the aforementioned Chapter 3):

For openers, the Constitution guarantees all of us, in a famous phrase, "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

My question would be, why even bring up a letter that clearly shows an error and then completely sidestep the issue?

Watch the video:

"CheneyCare" Campaign Gathers Steam

Banking on the success of their earlier Iowa ads, which declared that Dick Cheney would be dead if he were "anyone else" and didn't have the publicly-funded health care that our politicians get, the California Nurses Association (CNA) / National Nurses Organizing Committee (NNOC) has launched a new national campaign called "CheneyCare."

In a press release Friday, the group outlined plans for its new campaign, which started with eight New Hampshire papers on Friday and goes national on Monday, in both newspapers and political blogs.

The ad (.PDF) is very similar to the prior ad, but they have a new website, CheneyCare.org, and an online petition they want you to sign. As before the nurses are advocating HR 676, the National Health Insurance Act.

The petition will be given to the 2008 Presidential candidates and members of Congress. The full text is:

I want genuine healthcare reform that guarantees everyone has healthcare coverage, without prohibitive costs , and an end to insurance company denials of needed medical care.

I support HR 676, an expanded and improved Medicare for All. I want the same access to healthcare that Vice President Cheney and all members of Congress now receive.

With regards to the Democratic candidates' proposals on Universal Health Care, the press release says:

CNA/NNOC has been critical of "universal health care" proposals by top Democratic presidential hopefuls Senator Hillary Clinton, Senator Barack Obama and John Edwards, which continue to rely upon the wasteful inclusion of private insurance companies.

As I've said before, the United States is the only industrialized nation that does not have some form of universal health care, and that because of that we are near the bottom in terms of infant mortality (see link above).

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said,

Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane.

Do any of us deserve less than Cheney?

Britney Leaves Hospital with Dr. Phil; He Plans Show Next Week Around Her

Britney Spears was released from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Saturday, after her major meltdown late this week. She left in the company of none other than Dr. Phil McGraw, who has a long history of supporting the Spears family (witness his statements over what a "great parent" Lynne Spears after the revelations over Jamie-Lynn's pregnancy).

Still, he pulled no punches, as he told ET that:

"My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her."

There are also rumors that Britney is suffering from bipolar disorder. My wife is a psychologist, and she says, based on her behavior, this quite possible --- though whether or not it's a secondary condition (brought on by the stress of divorce, children, and the Hollywood lifestyle) or a primary one is unclear.

Despite Dr. Phil's support, it should be noted that he is devoting the Monday taping of her show (air date: Tuesday) to Britney's problems; I'm sure they would love to get her on camera. And this would definitely be a ratings winner for Dr. Phil, so let's not assume he's altruistic in this matter.

However, sources have said that Britney refuses to be on the show, but that her mother and father will be on it.

What did Britney do after she went home, supposedly with her father Jamie? Did she immediately seek out therapy? Even though it's Saturday, I'm sure she could find someone to treat her.

Did she at least stay home? Nope. ET caught a video of her leaving in her Mercedes, then turning right around and heading back into her gated community when she sees all the paparazzi.

Watch the video.

Does Romney's Anti-McCain Ad Have a Subliminal Message?

Shades of Huckabee and his subliminal cross. About seven seconds Mitt Romney's ad criticizing the John McCain for his stance on immigration reform, the screen quickly flashes the word "rat" in a white box against a predominantly blue background.

The word is a part of the word "immigration" and disappears quickly. But it can be seen if you look carefully (video below). It's a little above center and slightly right and you do have to look carefully.

Hmm. While in and of itself it could be said to be a just a coincidence, the Huffington Post noted that during the 2000 Presidential race, there was a similar ad with the word "rat" in it. In that ad, the the Republican National Committee ran an ad against Al Gore's prescription drug plan that similarly included a brief screen shot of the word "RATS." In that instance the word was part of the phrase "BUREAUCRATS DECIDE."

Of course, as with this ad, it was denied that there was any subliminal messaging involved.

You decide:

Radio Station Goes 24/7 Presidential Race Coverage

A Friday press release announced a first: a radio station devoted entirely to coverage of the presidential race.

POTUS (pronounced POH-tus) takes its name from the abbreviation sometimes used for the President of the United States. It's a commercial-free XM satellite radio station.

According to the press release:

The station is being broadcast for free to all XM radios on channel 130. Those who don't have an XM radio can go online and listen for free for two weeks by going to xmradio.com/potus.

The "POTUS" station airs radio shows produced by XM and a variety of partners, ranging from the Washington Post and C-SPAN to non-traditional media such as bloggers and podcasters. Also heard on "POTUS" are liberal voices from the political blog DailyKos, conservative voices from the Heritage Foundation, and the renowned polling group Zogby International.

The station will go off the air in January 2009, when the new president is inaugurated - perhaps to be resurrected during the 2012 presidential race.

K-Fed Gets Custody of Kids; Britney Loses Visitation Rights

It didn't take long after her latest meltdown, but it still seems to have taken longer than was necessary. Kevin Federline, Britney Spears’ ex-husband, was awarded custody of two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James.

The court order (.PDF) signed by Court Commissioner Scott Gordon says:

Respondent is awarded sole legal custody and sole physical custody of the minor children.

Petitioner's visitation with the minor children is suspendepd pending further order of the Court.

Matter is set for hearing on January 14, 2008 at 8:30amin Department 88.

Federline had previously been awarded temporary custody of the two children because of multiple infractions by Spears. Additionally, her visitation rights were already limited, with a court-appointed monitor required.

"I'm not happy about any of these events," Federline attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said when he left a closed-door emergency hearing Friday afternoon. "There's no winners here."

There's certainly no winners in terms of grammar either. Seriously, though, Britney is still in Cedars-Sinai under evaluation.

Japanese Firm Gives "Family Allowance" for Pets

Now this is right up the alley of pet-lovers who consider their pets their best friends or even children. A Japanese firm has begun giving employees who own dogs or cats a monthly "family allowance" for their pets.

However, the firm, Kyoritsu Seiyaku, may have a less than altruistic reason for this, as it makes nutritional supplements and medicines for pets.

On the other hand, it's well-known that the birth rate in Japan is abysmal, and that the median age there is the highest in the world. With that, there are now more cats and dogs than children under 15 in Japan.

"Everyone has the right to own a pet, but they also have the obligation to raise the pet for its whole life," the company said, explaining why it had decided to offer employees who own dogs and cats a "family allowance" of 1,000 yen ($9) per month.

"In the future, it is our dream that this system will spread not just in the pet business but to other Japanese firms," the company said in a statement.

Of course, $9 is not even going to pay for food, but it's something.

Oh, and why no birds, snakes or fish!?

Lindsay Lohan Falls Off the Wagon

Lindsay Lohan started the New Year off wrong, as she was caught on video drinking from a champagne bottle (below).

Blair Berk, Lohan's lawyer said in a statement, "After being handed a champagne bottle while on a dance floor in Italy on New Year's Eve and drinking from it, the good news is that Lindsay immediately stopped, called her sponsor, and got herself back on track. There is no magic cure here. Unfortunately, Lindsay has to share her 'one day at a time' with the entire world."

Right. First of all, she's going to have to learn to keep away from those sorts of parties, if she's serious about getting over her addiction. They are just a big temptation, nothing else.

Second of all, whoever gave her the bottle is a major enabler. They should know better. And alcoholic should not be given a bottle, obviously.

Last year Lohan was in rehab three times.

Watch the video:

Britney Hospitalized; Could Be Charged

Britney Spears may be in the final stages of her freefall. Last night after police were called to her home to settle a "custody dispute" over her children. Police determined the children were indeed supposed to be with her ex-, Kevin Federline, but also noticed that Britney appeared to be "under the influence."

They wheeled Britney out on a stretcher and took her to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center (video below) where she is currently on "medical hold."

LAPD spokesman Jason Lee said:

"We do believe Britney Spears is under the influence and needs to be evaluated. She is being transported to hospital where she will be tested for both drink and drugs. At this stage we do not know what she may or may not have taken - that's while she needs to be evaluated. But obviously if the test does prove positive then we would be looking to move her to a police station and charge her."

That said, it's also been reported that Britney's instability last night was just another example of psychological problems, not chemical-dependency issues - and that K-Fed's lawyer will be moving to get her stripped of her visitation rights this morning.

Based on the way things have gone for the Britney lately, this might be a good decision. Still, it's sad to see someone fall so far so fast. Hopefully, things will eventually work out for her. More to come, obviously.

Watch the video:

Christmas Puppies Set on Fire, Burned by Vandal

In Chowan County, North Carolina, the holiday season was ruined by someone sick enough to go into the back yard of a family and set a dog crate - with two puppies in it - on fire.

Liddie Leach had received two puppies as a Christmas gift for her children. Two days before Christmas, and a day after she received them someone went into her mobile home's back yard and set the dog crate and the dogs on fire. The charred remains of the crate are pictured above.

"We tried to put it out and flipped the pen over to get the puppies, but we couldn't save them at all," said Leach. "They were crying just like a little baby. All l could think about is, oh my God, this is like someone burning up a child."

"They have to be sick in the head to do some mess like that I would think," added Leach. "You can't be in your right mind to do something like that. If they did that, what will they do to a person."It's been shown that serial killers often have a propensity toward violence against animals (zoosadism) as children.

The Sheriff's Department is offering reward of $1,500 for any information, and PETA has also added a $2,500 reward of its own.

Atheist Files Discrimination Lawsuit Against Wal-Mart

Christopher Nolan is suing Wal-Mart, charging he was fired last month because he refused to dress up as the store's Santa Claus.

Nolan was asked on Dec. 8th to fill in as the store Santa Claus at the Lebanon, Maine Wal-Mart. However, Nolan is an atheist, and he declined, saying he did not believe in Christmas.

Nolan said his supervisor told him later he had an hour to change his mind. When Nolan refused again, his boss brought him into his office and fired him.

Nolan produced a copy of his exit interview papers for local newspapers. They were signed by the store manager and included the following statement of termination:

"Asked Chris several times to dress up as Santa Claus. Repeatly (sic) told me no and then said he would look for another job. Didn't listen to me at all. Told him I would take him out of the system."

A lawyer for Nolan filed the claim with the Maine Human Rights Commission; the commission can take up to two years to decide a claim. However, after six months Nolan can ask the commission for a "right-to-sue letter," at which point he could take his case to a Maine superior court.

Of course, Santa Claus and Christmas are not truly linked, as I've previously said. And in this day and age, Christmas is really about consumption. Of course, Wal-Mart didn't use that argument to force Nolan into being Santa, so he's probably got a case.

New Giuliani Ad Again Plays on "Our Fear"

It was only a matter of time, though I expected to see this closer to the real elections, not the primaries. Still, the "hero of 9/11" wants to make sure we are sufficiently scared, the same tactic that many believe led to a second Bush term. This ad is currently playing in New Hampshire and Florida.

The ad says:

An enemy without borders,
hate without boundaries,
a people perverted,
a religion betrayed,
a nuclear power in chaos,
madmen bent on creating it (showing Ahmadinejad),
leaders assassinated (showing Bhutto),
democracy attacked (a bomb going off),
and Osama bin Laden, still making threats (showing guess who?).

In a world where the next crisis is a moment away, America needs a leader who's ready.

Riiight. Let's remember what Roosevelt said:

"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

Take an example: do the Israelis, who have experienced far more terrorist attacks than us cowering in fear every day? This is why we have let our Constitutional freedoms be attacked: nameless fear.

Watch the video and be afraid, be very afraid.

SMS Divorce Messages Valid by Islamic Law?

Well, you can break up with people, call in sick, get updates from candidates - so why couldn't you divorce someone via text message? At least under Islamic law, which says that a unilateral declaration of divorce by a man, repeated three times, constitutes a divorce.

After missing a call from her husband on her cell phone, an Egyptian woman, Iqbal Abul Nasr received a text message from him saying "I divorce you because you didn't answer your husband." A little severe just for missing a call, but hey, if you're looking for an excuse.

Since that was the third SMS she had received with a similar message, Abul Nasr is seeking a legal decision from the family court on the status of her marriage.

This wouldn't be the first SMS divorce in the world, though. It's a hotly debated topic in the Muslim world and Singapore has already banned the practice as being "unacceptable."

However, if upheld, it would be the first text message divorce in Egypt. And, according to Egypt's state-run statistics bureau, a couple files for divorce every six minutes in Egypt. Not the most marriage-friendly country, you can see.

Tiger Attack Victims Earlier Taunted Lions, Says Witness

Since the tragic Christmas day attack by Tatiana, the 350-pound Siberian tiger, at the San Francisco Zoo, speculation has centered around whether or not the victims taunted the tiger. A footprint on a fence leads credence to such theories, although the forensic investigation is not complete.

Now an eyewitness has come forward who says that four young men were at the lion exhibit, and three of them - though not 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr., who was later killed - were taunting the lions.

Jennifer Miller, who was at the zoo with her husband and two children that day, told the San Francisco Chronicle that:

"The boys, especially the older one, were roaring at them. He was taunting them," the San Francisco woman said. "They were trying to get that lion's attention. ... The lion was bristling, so I just said, 'Come on, let's get out of here' because my kids were disturbed by it."

However, Miller was certain there were four men, although police have always said there were only three, and Miller was initially confused by those report. Police have yet to substantiate her account of a fourth person.

With regards to Sousa, who Miller later recognized from pictures, Miller said:

"He wasn't roaring. He wasn't taunting them," she recalled. "He kept looking at me apologetically like, 'I'm sorry, I know we are being stupid.' "

Meanwhile, the "superstar" attorney for the Dhaliwal brothers, Mark Geragos said:

"It's unconscionable," he said. "They're doing nothing but a calculated attack on these victims ... when in actuality the zoo security didn't do what they should have been doing after the attack."

Don't get me wrong, this is a tragedy, but this latest news, coupled with the earlier - though still incomplete - evidence raises some doubts. And many, including zoo personnel and other zoological experts have said the tiger would have needed "a reason" to jump the fence.

SF police Inspector Valerie Matthews said investigators have spoken to Miller. While there is as yet no corroboration that the brothers taunted the tigers, she confirmed that taunting an animal at the zoo is a misdemeanor.

12-Year-Old Reels in 551-Pound Shark

Aidan Murray Medley, a 12-year-old, has apparently set a new Florida record for catching the heaviest bull shark. On Tuesday Aidan, who weighs only 120 pounds himself, reeled in a 551-pound bull shark just north of the Palm Beach Inlet.

Aidan (pictured above) was on vacation with his family. It's not the first big shark he's caught. About a year ago he reeled in a 461--pound shark.

Florida wildlife officials say the current record set in 1981 was a 517lb catch at Panama City Beach. The Medleys plan to submit his catch for recognition as a new state record - and will get it mounted, as well.

Anti-Smoking Czar Breaks New Law on Day One

Antonio Nunes, head of the Portuguese agency in charge of enforcement of a new ban on smoking in public places, broke the law on the first day it went into effect.

Nunes is president of Portugal's food standards agency, and he was seen lighting up at in a casino just after midnight on New Year's Day. He was even photographed doing so by the newspaper Diario de Noticias.

When questioned, Nunes said he had not been aware that the anti-smoking law applied to casinos as well as cafes, restaurants and bars. Uh huh.

The Ministry of Health confirmed that casinos were covered.

The ban has fines of ranging from €50 and €750; I wonder if Nunes will skate because of "ignorance of his own law."

First 2008 Baby in U.S. Named Leia; Joins Brothers Luke and Anakin

I kid you not. Born in El Paso, TX 11 seconds into 2008, Abigail Leia Taber entered the world at 7-pounds, 14.9-ounces.

And yes, if you hadn't already guessed, her parents, Susana and Roger Taber are major Star Wars fans. And yes, her brothers are named Lucas and Anakin.

Strangely, this also continues a trend for the Tabers of births on a holiday. Lucas and Anakin were born on Thanksgiving and Labor Day, respectively.

One thing for sure, these kids have all been set up for major kidding at school, although probably Anakin the worst, since Lucas isn't that uncommon and Leia is just their new daughter's middle name.

Unjustly Imprisoned Man Must Repay "Room, Board" While in Prison

Warren Blackwell, 38, spent three years in jail as a convicted rapist. However, it turns out that not only did he not commit the crime, there was no crime in the first place. Yet after all his unnecessary suffering, they want him to pay £12,500 for his "room and board" while in prison, the Daily Mail reports.

He had been convicted based on testimony of the "victim," a woman who claimed he rape her at knifepoint early on New Year's Day 1999.

An investigation by the Criminal Cases Review Commission later discovered that his accuser had invented the story. And in fact, she turned out to be a "serial accuser," who had falsely accused at least seven other innocent men of similar crimes. She kept changing her name and address, so police never caught on.

Blackwell has been awarded £252,500 as compensation - but they want him to pay the estimated cost of his food and housing while behind bars."It's the principle of the thing. They slam you in jail for three years and four months, brand you a sex attacker, leave your family to cope without you, then turn around and say sorry but demand £12,500 for living expenses incurred during your time inside," Blackwell said.

"I tried to fight against it but my solicitor says the only hope of overturning the decision would be to go all the way to the European Court of Human Rights. I would probably use up all the compensation money on legal fees if I did that."

Fortunately for Blackwell, his wife Tanya never doubted him and continued to support him during his ordeal.

This isn't the first instance of such a charge in the U.K. Earlier this year the Bridgewater Three, wrongly convicted of a murder, were forced to repay their "room and board" as well. It's obvious that decision will be used in future cases.

The reasoning giving in the Bridgewater Three case was that if they had been free from prison, they would have incurred living expenses, thus the charges.

Still, when someone's imprisoned unfairly, the injustice of that alone, I feel, should trump this parcticality. What do you readers think?

California "Smoke-Free Cars with Minors" Law Goes into Effect

One of the new laws that went into effect January 1st in California is one you'd better remember, both for your children's sake and your wallet: the CHP says it will not offer a grace period. Moving or stopped, you can no longer smoke in the same car as a minor, whether you are the driver or a passenger.

The "Smoke-Free Cars with Minors" law carries a $100 fine, but it will be a secondary offense, meaning officers cannot pull a car over strictly for smoking; there has to be another infraction involved before the car can be pulled over.

"Passengers, especially youth, are exposed to dangerous levels of toxic air contaminants when someone is smoking in a car," Paul Knepprath, vice president for government relations for the American Lung Association of California, said in a statement.

Arkansas and Louisiana have similar laws.

Bank Robber Misses Cop Standing Right Behind Him

Adam Grennan, 39, just missed the award for the first "dim-bulb" criminal of 2008, as on Dec. 31st he tried to rob a bank in Dorchester, Massachusetts. He paid waaaay too much attention to the teller in front of him and not enough to the cop --- right behind him.

Officer Kamau Pritchard was working security at the bank, but had gone on break. When Grennan entered the bank, employees warned Pritchard that a suspicious person had entered the bank. By the time Pritchard re-entered the lobby, Grennan had already passed a note to the teller, reported the Boston Globe.

"He doesn't realize I'm behind him," said Pritchard, 30, a two-year Boston Police Department veteran. "He's focused on actually getting the money."

Pritchard already had his gun drawn before Grennan turned around, and when he did so, Pritchard arrested him.

"As*es of Evil" Buttons Prove Hot Sellers on Iowa Circuit

Playing off the "Axis of Evil" term coined by Bush in his 2002 State of the Union Address, an entrepreneur has been doing brisk business on the Iowa circuit with "As*es of Evil" buttons.

According to The Hill, six months ago, Jeremy Beggun was living and working in Sarasota, Florida, where he repaired refrigerators and air conditioners for local restaurants. Taking a break from the work, he accepted an invitation from a friend to peddle campaign paraphernalia.

Besides the traditional candidate buttons and shirts, Beggun has seen the "As*es of Evil" buttons become popular items, as have buttons that say "Good Riddance" with a picture of Bush on them.

According to The Hill, Beggun said, “We’re not offering ‘A---- for Evil T-shirts. They’d sell, though.”

There's a website with that name, BTW. I'm not sure if they are affiliated or not, or if Beggun gets his merchandise from them. Since I found a lot of pictures with that same slogan on Google Images, it doesn't seem to be an exclusive item anyway.

Anyway, that site appears to have been in business since the late '90s. They have shirts and buttons, and an online CafePress store. You might want to look there if you can't get out to Iowa.

Britney to Spend New Year's Eve with Married Paparazzo

Remember Britney's camera-smashing tirade? That incident ended with her spending time at the Peninsula Hotel with a paparazzo. OK! is reporting that Britney and her two young sons will be ringing in 2008 with Brit's new beau - that same paparazzo, Adnan Ghalib, who, sources tell OK!, happens to be married!

Spears, Ghalib and her two boys, Sean Preston, 2, and 1-year-old Jayden James, are spending New Year's Eve at a private beachfront residence near Dana Point, CA, according to the source. But what's amazing is that a court-appointed monitor will be there. The monitor must be there for any visits between Spears and her sons, but it's bound to be awkward.

Still, it's unclear what exactly is going on between the two. PageSix says the earlier Peninsula Hotel tryst was purely platonic, with Spears talking to Ghalib for seven hours!

The OK! story goes on to quote the source as saying that Ghalib has always been Spears' defender, but only because of mercenary reasons. An example given was a recent incident where Britney was hiding inside of a locked utility closet in a Target store in Culver City, Calif.

"He told me that the reason he talked to her through the door and convinced her to let him escort her to her car was because if she were to leave the store through the back loading dock, he wouldn't get good photos."

Multitasking Motorcyclist Masturbated While Motoring

In Palm Bay, Florida, a motorcyclist is accused of exposing himself and masturbating in front of two young girls - while riding his motorcycle.

A homeowner noticed Ronald Truex (pictured), 39, ride his motorcycle near his 7-year-old daughter and another 9-year-old girl, while exposing himself and masturbating.

The father wrote down Truex's license number as he drove off, and even went so far as to follow him home, where he waited for police to arrive.

Officers arrested Truex on a charge of lewd and lascivious acts on a child under the age of 16 years old and transported him to the Brevard County Detention Center.