Sudanese Protesters Call for Execution of "Teddy Bear Teacher"

As I previously said, I don't write about stuff like this normally, leaving it to the mainstream, but this is particularly egregious. You'll recall that Gillian Gibbons, a teacher who committed what was probably an honest mistake, naming a teddy bear used in a class exercise Muhammed (based on the students' votes, BTW!), was convicted yesterday of inciting religious hatred. Her sentence was 15 days in prison and deportation.

This is actually fortunate for her as it was possible she could get up to 40 lashes, and six months in prison.

However, today there are wild protests outside the presidential palace in Khartoum, with thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, calling for Gibbons' execution. Other protesters marched to her former high school, Unity High School, chanting and protesting --- fortunately without weapons.

Because of the protests, Gibbons has been moved to a secret location for her safety.

A hard-line cleric, Abdul-Jalil Nazeer al-Karouri said, "This is an arrogant woman who came to our country, cashing her salary in dollars, teaching our children hatred of our Prophet Muhammad."

I'll say what I said yesterday verbatim because it still applies:

This woman travels from the U.K. to Sudan, sacrificing a (one would assume) comfortable life in the U.K. for a definitely less comfortable one, and this is the thanks she gets? You can bet others mulling over the same choice might have second thoughts now.

One more thing, though: I don't want to incite anything myself, but honestly, many have said that Islam is a peaceful religion. While that may in fact be true for the majority of its followers, how can you watch something like this and not have your opinion swayed negatively?

You Should Probably Stay Away from Bobby Knight When He Has a Gun

James Simpson, a homeowner in Lubbock, Texas, has accused Bobby Knight and a hunting buddy, Bob Curtis, of hunting too close to his house, resulting in pellets landing in his swimming pool (according to the video), and some pellets actually hitting him (though not hurting him).

In fact, this appears to be the second time that Knight has had a hunting "accident," as Mary Ann Chumley said Tuesday she was struck on the foot by a stray pellet on Oct. 20 in a similar incident. In that case Knight apologized and she forgave him. In this case ...

Watching the video, the owner asks Knight to move further away from his house.

Now, anyone who knows anything about Bobby Knight knows he's not the calmest man in the world. Do you really want to start yelling at him when he has a shotgun in his hands?

In fact, at one point in the video, Simpson warns Knight to stop moving the shotgun in his direction. Unfortunately, the gun is not visible in the video.

It's unfortunately humorous also that the homeowner has quite the accent, making it hard to understand, and hard to ... well, you'll see. As he said:

''Pellets fell on m' house. I don't want no pellets landing on my house while I'm playin' in my swimmin' pool.''

Apparently police and game wardens feel the matter is closed, but Simpson does not. We'll see what happens going forward.

Watch the video:

Graveyard Shift Can Lead to an Early Grave

It sounds like a nutty idea. Graveyard shift having anything to do with cancer risk? But at one time, that was how people felt about smoking and cancer, and we know what happened there.

Next month, the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), the World Health Organization's cancer arm, will classify shift work as a "probable" carcinogen. At the same time, the American Cancer Society has indicated that once that classification takes place, it would most likely add shift work to its list of "known and probable carcinogens." Until now, the ACS has labeled shift work an "uncertain, controversial or unproven effect."

How did this reclassification take place?

The idea is isn't new; it was first posited in 1987 by Richard Stevens, a cancer epidemiologist and professor at the University of Connecticut Health Center. He published a paper suggesting a link between light at night and breast cancer. Naturally he was ridiculed.

However, recent studies have shown a correlation between women working at night for many years and an increased risk of breast cancer, and also that men working at night may have a higher rate of prostate cancer.

There have also been studies associating a higher incidence of tumors in animals who have had their light-dark schedules switched.

And that's the theory. One: that shift work disrupts the circadian rhythm, the body 24-hour physiological cycle --- and two: that the hormone melatonin, which suppresses tumor development and is normally produced at night, is suppressed in shift workers because light shuts down its production.

Additional possible contributors: lack of sleep and flipping between shift work and regular hours. No matter what, however, researchers say more studies are required.

One other thing: researchers recommend that shift workers make sure they sleep in a darkened room when they return home. This also ought to be a warning to those of you who fall alseep while watching TV, as sleeping with a lot of light is what researchers are concerned about.

Sudan Trial on Teddy Bear Named "Muhammed" Ends with Guilty Verdict

Normally I wouldn't write about something so mainstream-media-ish, but this is just so ... outrageous. I actually thought this would blow over, particularly since officials Sudan's Foreign Ministry have tried to play down the case. In fact, they initially predicted Gillian Gibbons, 54, charged with inciting religious hatred by letting her pupils name a teddy bear "Muhammad," could be released without charge.

But the case has continued, and has now gone to trial. The ridiculous details are that Gibbons, a British citizen teaching at a British-run school in Khartoum, let her students vote on what to name a teddy bear being used in a exercise about animals. Nominees included Abdullah, Hassan and Muhammad, and a vote ended with 20 out of 23 students picking Muhammed.

Apparently one of those three who did not vote for Muhammed complained, and here we are. Despite repeated conjecture that she would "be released" or "not be charged," including as I said the Sudan Foreign Ministry and the school's director, she is now on trial. The possible sentence: up to 40 lashes, six months in jail and a fine.

Word is that the country's top Muslim clerics have pressed the government to ensure that she is punished, for what appears to be a genuine misunderstanding. It's unclear how long the trial will last, but Prosecutor-General Salah Eddin Abu Zaid said the Gibbons could expect a ''swift and fair trial.''

IMHO: This woman travels from the U.K. to Sudan, sacrificing a (one would assume) comfortable life in the U.K. for a definitely less comfortable one, and this is the thanks she gets? You can bet others mulling over the same choice might have second thoughts now.

Update: She's guilty. She will avoid the lashes, but she will get 15 days in jail and be deported.

Size Doesn't Matter, at Least for Flashers

What's that old saying? "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean." I guess that applies to flashers as well, or at least, the argument a U.K. man used that he could not be guilty as his genitals were too small didn't fly (pun intended) with the court.

Michael Carney, 41, said he couldn't be guilty; he was so small he was too embarrassed to possibly expose himself to women --- and he showed the court photographs as proof.

But the jury at Teesside Crown Court convicted Carney of 7 counts of indecent exposure.

After the conviction, the jury was told of Carney's prior conviction of five sexual assaults.

Seems like he's not all that embarrassed, is he?

Prostitute Auctions Off Sex for Charity Drive

Oh, those countries where prostitution is legal, what they can do. One such country is Chile, where a prostitute has auctioned off 27 hours of sex, and will donate the proceeds to Chile's annual two-day Teleton fundraiser, which runs for 27 hours starting on Friday.

Maria Carolina said, "I've already auctioned off the 27 hours of love. One of my clients already paid. It seemed like a good deed to him."

So wait, are you telling me this one guy is going to have 27 hours of sex with her?

Anyway, although campaign organizer Mario Kreutzberger said he would not encourage "immoral" activities, he said he'd take the money. Why not, after all?

BTW, she apparently has her own website, and that's her above.

Judge Who Jailed Entire Courtroom Over Cell Phone Call Removed

Sure, I've complained about cell phone calls in movie theatres and other places where you just wish people were polite enough to shut them off --- but jailing 46 people because no one fessed up to it? That's overkill. And a New York state commission agreed.

In March 2005, Judge Robert Restaino, angered by a ringing cell phone while hearing a case (a sign in the courthouse warns that cell phones and pagers must be turned off), said to those assembled:

"Everyone is going to jail. Every single person is going to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now. If anybody believes I'm kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going."

He meant it, too. When no one came forward, he had everyone carted off to jail. He had them released later that afternoon, but still.

His excuse? Stress in his personal life.

The State Commission on Judicial Conduct decided to remove Restaino from his post, which pays $113,900 per year. Through his lawyer, Restaino said he would appeal.

Still, how would you like someone "stressed out" like this to be sentencing you?

Road Kill Toys Add Squash to Plush

I don't think they have any lead in them, but they certainly have some gore. The newest thing in plush toys: Road Kill.

Road Kill Toys is a new toy company, and as they themselves say, they are "toys with a macabre twist." Their first product is Twitch the Raccoon. All of the Road Kill toys will come with ID tags though, with information on the animal's demise. However, the first 1,000 Twitches sold will be limited editions, with special identity tags, hand-written by the designer.

The toy's, er, blood and guts can be stuffed into or pulled out of his body. A tire print even runs across its back.

Besides Twitch, future characters will include Grind the Rabbit, Splodge the Hedgehog, Pop the Weasel (it figures), Fender the Fox, and Smudge the Squirrel.

You can read their character profiles, including their death certificates, here.

The only one with a price so far in their shop is Twitch, at £25.00 --- the rest all have "call for pricing" tags. Still, as it says at their site, you'd better hurry before the maggots set in.

MRIs Confirm Second-Hand Smoke Damages Lungs

On Monday, doctors reported the results of a study which confirmed what those of us non-smokers who cough around smokers already know: second-hand smoke damages lungs.

The study looked at the lungs of "high exposure" non-smokers and found evidence of the kind of damage that causes emphysema. The team studied 60 adults between ages 41 and 79, 45 of whom had never smoked. The non-smokers were considered to have high exposure if they had lived with a smoker for at least 10 years.

The team, led by Chengbo Wang, a magnetic resonance physicist at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, used long-time-scale, global helium-3 diffusion magnetic resonance imaging. This allowed them to examine lung structure on on a microscopic level.

Based on the scans, 1/3 of the people who breath in high levels of secondhand smoke have damage to their lungs similar to that seen in smokers, doctors reported on Monday.

"To our knowledge, this is the first imaging study to find lung damage in non-smokers heavily exposed to secondhand smoke. We hope our work strengthens the efforts of legislators and policymakers to limit public exposure to secondhand smoke," said Wang.

Why are we finally getting some results, after all these years? "It's long been hypothesized that prolonged exposure to secondhand smoke may cause physical damage to the lungs, but previous methods of analyzing lung changes were not sensitive enough to detect it," said Wang.

Yep, it's the new MRI method.

Now, I know what smokers are probably going to say: "But 2/3 of them aren't affected!" or "What about my rights!?" I've always said, smokers are free to kill themselves on their own time and in their own home, but what about my rights to live as long as possible? Second-hand smoke infringes on that right, as shown in this study.

Britney Spears Blows (Through) Three Stop Signs

Britney Spears has already been banned from driving with her kids; maybe she needs to be banned from driving period. Last Friday night, driving in her white Mercedes SL65 with her producer friend Sam Lutfi, the pop "diva" rolled through three stop signs.

Of course, many would say, "It's California, home of the California stop!" Be that as it may, she didn't really slow down all that much either. And based on the video, obtained by Usmagazine.com, it looks like she hasn't stopped texting while driving either.

And since she was returning from the Four Season Hotel, she most likely --- though not necessarily --- imbibed, just a little. Does she really want to attract more attention, what with her custody situation? Or does she just not care?

Download and watch the video.

"Deer Antler Kid" Survives After Antler Penetrates His Brain

Connor Schick, five-years-old, survived a frightening experience when a deer antler he was carrying while running pierced his eye socket and entered his brain (what did we say about running with sharp objects?!).

Connor and his family were vacationing in Utah this summer when he found the antler. He fell and the antler entered his eye socket, missing the eye but penetrating his brain. He actually removed the antler from his eye himself, according to reports.

The doctors at Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City managed to save his life with high-doses of antibiotics after the wound became infected. He was even more lucky in that the antler, besides missing the eye, missed the muscles that control the eye and vital blood vessels leading to the brain.

Where did "Deer Antler Kid" come from? "Everybody knew him at Primary Children's as 'the Deer Antler Kid' because it was one of those things that doesn't happen," said his mother, Melissa.

Perfect Pet for Your Son? A Python Bigger Than Him?

A 20-foot long python could realistically kill a six-year-old child. After all, a 13-foot long boa constrictor killed his adult owner, in Cincinnati. Yet six-year-old Sambath Uon refuses to go to bed without the Burmese python named Lucky. They're pictured at left (click to enlarge).

The snake first slithered into their Cambodian village --- and their lives --- when Sambath was three months old and Lucky was only 20 inches long. Sambath's parents tried to return the snake to the wild, but it kept coming back.

Sambath's mother, Kim Kanara, said: 'We would find it asleep next to Sambath. They have slept together every night for the past six years."

Lucky is apparently now a member of the family. Personally the name just shows how "lucky" they have been so far.

"Simply Amish" Store Robbed of Plasma TV. Huh?

Simply Amish is a chain of stores which sells Amish-made furniture. As the national site says,

Amish isn't a style. It's a standard of excellence—desired by many and practiced by a very rare few. It's in the fine details of solid wood drawers, hand-finished, inside and out.

In Champaign, Illinois, the local Simply Amish showroom was robbed of a 42-inch plasma television with an estimated value of more than $2,500. My response: huh? (Yes, yes, I'm sure they weren't selling plasma TVs, though a TV is furniture, but probably not made by "fine Amish craftsmen."

In addition, a stand for the television, a ceramic statue, a wall and a vinyl sign were damaged.

Rome's Parking Chief Fired --- for Illegal Parking

Rome's traffic and parking chief was fired on Sunday after a newspaper revealed activity he, as parking chief, should know better than to do.

The newspaper reported that Giovanni Catanzaro parked his red Alfa Romeo Brera in a tow-away zone. Not only that, he used a handicapped permit that had previously been issued to an 86-year old woman, but had expired.

Rome Mayor Walter Veltroni showed no hesitation at removing Catanzaro once the story was printed.

Lassie Supports the Hollywood Writers Strike

Yes, our favorite collie appears to be supporting the Writers Guild of America (WGA) by picketing (see pic). In reality this is an imposter (we know Lassie has plenty of stand-ins) ... but it is Lulu, a descendent of Lassie (though since there have been many Lassies, it's hard to say which one!).

However, as Lassie and his (yes, remember Lassie is a he) owners and descendents have made tons of money off the hard-working backs of Hollywood writers, through TV series and movies, it's likely he supports the WGA.

(Besides, anything for a cool-looking dog picture, I say).

The WGA went on strike Nov. 5th over payment for work aired on the Web. Talks are reportedly set to start again today.

Whiskey Used to Keep High School Students Warm

Whiskey will be used to keep the students at Tynecastle High School in Edinburgh warm. Not in the way one would think of in Scotland, where whiskey is the national drink, but by using the waste heat from a distillery.

The high school is actually new, and will be built next to the North British Distillery. Water from the school will be piped from to the distillery where it will be warmed by waste heat, and then sent back to the school, cutting its fuel bill.

The setup will cost £200,000 but is expected to have paid for itself in energy savings within four years.

Not bad. And for you who thought they would be using whiskey to warm students "the other way," after all, that's just an urban myth anyway. And since it actually makes you feel warmer by dilating your blood vessels, it would actually hasten hypothermia. Sorry to be a downer.

The Spirit of Christmas: Three Women in Brawl Over Santa Arrival

Happy Holidays! Now get out of my way.

Thanksgiving has just passed and Santa's already making the rounds of shopping centers. Three women got into a shoving match at Anaheim Town Square shopping center over their places in line while waiting for Santa. One of the women was even carrying an infant (see above)

The mothers, all with children (I should hope so), were lined up to see the "Jingle Bell Jump," which involved Santa Claus landing in the parking lot in a hot-air balloon.

When something like this happens I always wonder about the sort of example parents are giving their children by doing something like this right in front of them. They're teaching them to be rude and disorderly when they grow up. And people wonder why more children are growing up to be anti-social.

Real-Life "Death Note" Book Gets Student Suspended

For those who haven't been watching Cartoon Network's Adult Swim on Saturdays lately, Death Note is an an anime series which centers around high school student Light Yagami, who finds a discarded notebook labeled "Death Note," lying on the ground (as with most anime, Death Note was previously a manga series).

The Death Note's instructions claim that if a human's name is written within it, that person shall die. The writer must know both the face and name of the "victim," to prevent mistakes. Yagami tries it on a couple of criminals first, and discovers it works.

As he continues to rid the world of criminals, he attracts the attention of the police. To protect himself, he begins killing innocents as well as the guilty.

In Richmond, Virginia at the Franklin Military Academy, a student was caught writing names in a Death Note notebook (reproductions are readily available). Naturally, this caught the attention of school authorities, who suspended him and sent a letter home to parents about it.

The letter also indicated that parents should go to the official website, to get more information on the series, and to be able to understand the context of the Death Note.

Update: an alert reader noticed that the website indicated in the school's note is not the official site at all, but a fan site. I hadn't noticed that in the video. Make sense, as Viz wouldn't place a simulation to put entries in a Death Note on their site.

Watch a video report:

Fliers Still Advertise "Aqua Dots" Date-Rape Toys

Aqua Dots, an extremely popular and award-winning toy, was recalled early this month when it was discovered that a chemical coating on the dots metabolizes into the daet-rape drug GHB. Embarrassingly for some stores, the recall didn't seem to affect their fliers as post-Thanksgiving ads for some stores featured the toys.

Of course, it's only an embarrassment, no danger to consumers --- as calls I made to some stores advertising the toys showed none of them had any. Naturally these fliers are printed long in advance, and based on the popularity of Aqua Dots, they were heavily featured.

Reports indicate that Toys "R" Us and Target ads featured the toys, but not all fliers in all locations in the country apparently contain the ads. In fact, ads in my area contained the ads, while those cross-country in my father-in-law's area did not.

Still, according to Kathleen Waugh, a spokeswoman for Toys "R" Us Inc., it's likely that fliers with Aqua Dots in them will continue to appear for a few weeks.

Fast Traffic Complaint Spurs Botts' Dots Install. Complaints Now About Fast and Noisy Traffic

In Paso Robles, residents were concerned about speeding traffic on Rolling Hills Road. Unfortunately, the solution installed by the city hasn't helped, and has made things worse.

You probably know what Botts' dots are (pictured), though probably not their name. They're the raised non-reflective dots placed on road to provide tactile feedback to drivers. In Paso Robles, the city tried installing them to slow traffic down. All it did was make the traffic on the street noisier.

“It sounds like somebody’s shooting a shotgun off,” said Bob Spielman, who helped gather the signatures asking the city to remove the dots. They were installed in September, and the City Council agreed last week to remove them.

“When they first put them in, they maybe braked a little bit. But people have these urban assault vehicles, and they just speed up to go over them,” Spielman said.

The speed limit is 35 MPH, but Spielman said he's seen plenty of traffic going as fast as 65 MPH. The road is used as a shortcut between Highway 46 East and other parts of Paso Robles, so as many as 300 cars / hour travel the road.

My suggestion: speed bumps. They always slow down traffic, or else the drivers will end up with some suspension issues, possibly what they deserve. An alternative is roundabouts.

At any rate, good luck to the residents, and hopefully they will soon get a good nights' sleep, free of rumbling from Botts' dots and free of worry over speeding cars in their neighborhood.

"Zookeeper for a Day" Program Goes Great --- Except for Bear Bite

Woodland Zoo and More, Inc. is a private zoo in Farmington, PA, owned by the Herring family. The victim was participating in a behind-the-scenes tour Saturday as part of a program called "zookeeper for a day."

Participants in the program, which is for adults, get access to an zookeeper's only area of the bear's den. The victim, a student at Frostburg State University in Maryland, required eight stitches. Another person who tried him help the victim received minor injuries. Both were released and home within hours.

"There's dog bites more serious than this every day, and the only reason this is drawing attention is because it is a bear," Sonny Herring said.

That might be, but ... well, it's a bear. It's a tad bit bigger than a dog.

Losing 2 Data CDs Not Good Enough for U.K. Gov't; Add Another Six

Remember how the U.K. government, specifically Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs Department (HMRC), lost two data CDs with the personal information of 40% of their population? Apparently their inter-office mail is built like a sieve as they have admitted losing six more data CDs.

Fortunately these CDs only contained recorded conversations between a member of staff and a customer making a complaint. While that's all well and good, it points to a pattern in the inter-office mail system which screams "stop using it."

While Prime Minister Gordon Brown has apologized for the data loss, let's admit it: that's little comfort to those whose data is concerned, just as in other cases of data loss. The HMRC does believe the CDs with personal information on them are still in their offices, but are still unable to find them.

Being Able to Tie a Noose: Not Really a Crime for an Eagle Scout

Wow, political correctness gone wild in the holiday season and it's not even about Santa Claus or anything. Amazing!

Travis Grigsby isn't an Eagle Scout, but he's close, according to his mother Kim. Naturally he knows how to tie a ton of different knots. And he's in the band. So when some kids on the drum line started talking about the best knots to use to tie up the drum equipment, it doesn't seem racist that one might ask if someone knew how to tie a noose.

In fact, Travis said he did but that he wouldn't because he could get in trouble for that. So, he knew about possible consequences and refused. Consequences! That's refreshing, actually.

Later, however, an African-American student on the drum line told the teacher he was offended. Apparently there's been some racial tension in the band at Lee's Summit West High School in Missouri.

Now, I might understand that if they were making racial comments, but in this case? This doesn't seem to be a "Jena Six" case, and seems overly sensitive. The school's response: a 10-day suspension for Travis and his friend Alex Coday, with the charge of "having a racially charged conversation about nooses."

Travis and Alex insist this was not the case, and the suspension was reduced to five days. But still, assuming the boys are telling the truth (and Travis' mother said the boys didn't get a chance to tell their side), is this political correctness gone wild again?

SMS for Someone's Name, Address, Phone Number. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

One of those "what were they thinking?" moments. The Indian state of Madhya Pradesh was (emphasis on "was") allowing anyone, just anyone, to text message the registration info of a car --- and get back the name, address, and phone number of the owner. What could possibly go wrong, eh?

Well, thinking about it a little, maybe young amorous men would start texting in trying to get the information of young women. And that's exactly what happened.

The advertisement (yep, they advertised this) for the service said, "SMS us the vehicle registration number ... and get all the information - vehicle, tax and owner's details. etc." After a series of complaints, the state transport department decided to stop sending all the info --- but they still send the owner's name.

According to the department, the service was meant to help policemen quickly find out details of vehicles involved in accidents or those suspected to have been stolen or involved in a crime. I guess that unlike the U.S., they can't just find that info by radioing back to the station or checking a computer.

The information was also meant to help those purchasing second-hand vehicles by providing details of the original date of purchase, fitness certificate, taxes and fees paid. Sounds a lot like CARFAX, but with a dating service attached.

A Miniskirt Mouse Pad for the Prurient Web Surfer

At first glance, it looks like someone's got his hand up a mini-skirt. Take a closer look, and there's really a mouse pad inside the skirt.

Unfortunately, since I only found this one a Japanese-only online store, I don't know how much it costs. I did notice that in 2006 Axe had a promotion for their AxeFantasy site using these pads.

I hate to admit it, but I found this hiliarious, but at the same time, somewhat disturbing.

Criminal IDed by Video of His Butt

I kid you not. A knife attack by two men left Kevin Williams, 29, fighting for his life. The attack took place in a shop in Queen's ­Crescent, Kentish Town, and unlike shows like C.S.I., there was no residual forensic evidence. And Williams could remember little about the attack. But there was ... a closed-circuit video.

But the video didn't show any faces! What it did show, when one of the attackers bent over to continue attacking a prostrate Williams, was a large and ­distinctive birthmark across the attacker's lower back and butt.

It's unclear how police targeted the eventual suspect, Aaron Williams (unrelated), 28, but there had been a dispute between the two men over a woman. After arresting him, they photographic his back, and a dermatological expert said the marks, because of their uniqueness, were identical.

Aaron Williams was convicted and sentenced to 16 years. Kevin Williams still has several surgeries to endure. The second attacker has not been identified.

California Reminds Online Shoppers: Pay Your Internet Sales Tax. Honor System. We'll All Do It, Right?

The cost of living in California, as everyone knows, is pretty darned high. That includes the sales tax, which starts generally runs at around 8% depending on which county you live in.

Of course, we Californians have figured out that if you buy from places without a physical presence in California, we don't get charged sales tax on the transaction by the retailer. None of this is new; it's been this way since the days of mail-order, and it applies to other states as well. Of course, with the advent of the Internet and web shopping, states like California are losing a lot more revenue to this practice. Technically speaking, though, we should be paying it anyway.

At least in California, the "missing" sales tax would be paid as "use tax" on your state tax return. The State Board of Equalization took the time Wednesday to remind residents of their fiscal responsibility.

Of course, it's all based on the honor system, and first, assuming people were willing to pay this, it's doubtful they will remember every single transaction they made. Secondly, do you really think people would be willing to pay this? If someone doesn't have to pay a tax, would they freely offer it up? Not likely.

On the other hand, it's unlikely this tax-free buying will continue forever, despite what consumers may want. California will get it's $$$ soon enough.

Oh, and I didn't buy a single item from Amazon.com or any other such "non-sales tax for Californians retailer." Yeah, really.

Carjacker Caught After Getting Stuck in Cement

Thankfully, it's not quite as bad as getting killed by an alligator while fleeing, but it still reminds me of something you'd see on TV. In Reno, Nevada, a carjacker was caught when he tried to run and became stuck in wet cement.

Rudy Aguas and another suspect attempted to carjack a truck at the Courtyard by Marriott. After pistol-whipping the man, the suspects fled when the man grabbed for the gun.

Aguas ran into a building, where police followed him. He ran into a freshly poured concrete floor and was tackled by construction workers and arrested. The second suspect remains at large.

Audible Alert Lets Crooks Know You're Dialing 911 --- Seriously

By law even disconnected cell phones can make 911 calls, and cell phones are supposed to let the caller know when a 911 call is in progress, but this type of alert could be dangerous.

Carol (last name withheld) from Austin, Texas, called for help recently when she arrived at some vacant property she owns and found her security chain gone. To her horror, her new Casio G’zOne phone from Verizon Wireless, made an audible alarm when she called 911. It wasn't ear-piercing, but considering how quiet it was, it would have been quite audible several yards away.

Apparently the vandals were already gone, so she was OK. Still, why such a loud audible alarm, that could let criminals where a victim is hiding?

According to Verizon Wireless, the audible tone is required by the Federal Communications Commission. It's another "accessibility" feature that Congress mandated. This is in regards to Section 255 of the Telecommunications Act which requires telecommunications products and services to be accessible to people with disabilities.

Since, as I stated above, the cell phone has to alert the user they have dialed 911, this is the solution for blind people. The loud alert is designed to let blind people know they've dialed 911. But by making it loud, they've created a problem.

It's been confirmed on forums on cell phone-centric websites that this occurs on other cell phones as well, so it looks like the issue is going to become more prevalent. Although Section 255 states there has to be a cue, like most of these regulations, I don't believe it specifies exactly how that cue is given (readers, correct me if I'm wrong).

So before people start blaming the government, perhaps it's the manufacturers and their interpretation that needs fixing. The solution (IMHO): vibrate on an outgoing 911 call. This not only helps blind people, but deaf people as well.

Background Check Company Said Woman Used Drugs with Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd

And of course, the company flagged her application as "do not hire." Seriously, South Carolina-based General Information Systems (G.I.S.) reported to City Market that Sue Jones had used drugs with cartoon characters, and had been also charged with felony drug possession and misdemeanor gambling.

How did this happen? Well, unfortunately for Jones, her name is a common one, and the cases that G.I.S. found were phony test cases that people working in the court system often use for practice. And names like "Jones" and "Smith" are often used.

Still there should have been some red flags for G.I.S., like the co-defendents being Porky Pig, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, and the fact that the court cases didn't have a Social Security number or matching birth date for the real Jones. Also the word "test" on the documents might have been a giveaway.

Jones was initially suspended but has since gotten her job back; there's been no comment by G.I.S. or City Market as to whether or not City Market will continue to use the background check firm.

Butterfly Naming Auction Ends with $40,800 Bid

Butterflies aren't free, despite what Leonard Gershe may think. Or at least, naming one isn't.

You'll recall that I earlier wrote that researchers were planning to auction the naming rights for a new species of Mexican butterfly, the first such auction in North American. The auction brought in a cool $40,800, and the proceeds will be used to fund further butterfly research.

The butterfly, a species of owl butterfly, was discovered earlier this year. It will now be known as the "Minerva owl butterfly," scientific name Opsiphanes blythekitzmillerae, named in honor of the late Margery Minerva Blythe Kitzmiller of Ohio.

The donor, who wished to remain anonymous, made the donation in honor of Kitzmiller's five grandchildren. Kitzmiller was born Nov. 17, 1883, in Malvern, Ohio, and died March 10, 1972. She and her husband Frank Kitzmiller had three sons and five grandchildren.

More Holiday PC Silliness: Santa in Red Too Commercial; Let's Go with Green

As I said previously, can't we just leave holiday traditions alone? I understand political correctness and all that, but come on! Notice how I can't even say "Christmas traditions' but carefully selected the word "holiday" instead.

In this case, the Steiner School in Brighton in the U.K. has decided that the red Santa Claus suit is "too commercial." Because of this, they want to have a green-suited Santa.

Why is the red suit "too commercial?" Well, many believe that the image of Santa as we see him today was originated by artist Haddon Sundblom for a Coca-Cola promotion in 1931.

But most will also note , and Coca-Cola also readily admits, that Santa Claus appeared in red many times prior to the Coca-Cola promotions. In fact, on the web page linked above on Coca-Cola's website, it says:

It is a common misconception that today's Santa Claus wears a red coat because red is the color associated with Coca-Cola. In fact, Santa appeared in a red coat in numerous earlier written accounts and illustrations before Sundblom painted him for Coca-Cola advertising.

This same information was even noted at the best site for debunking urban legends: Snopes.

In fact, some research shows that many believe Thomas Nast to be the true originator of Santa Claus as we know him today; the image of Santa to the right is the first Nast image with Santa in red ... and it was done in 1869. The Coca-Cola formula wasn't developed until 1885. 'Nuff said?

Naturally most parents are totally behind the red-suited Santa, as I am. I just wish those in charge at Steiner School would do a little research, so they can discover their over-the-top PC-ness is totally wrong.

U.K. Government Loses Data of 7.5 Million Families

The Child Benefit is a payment made British families with children under 16. It’s sort of like a tax rebate. Unfortunately for anyone receiving the Child Benefit, the government has managed to lose the data for all families receiving it, putting their addresses, personal info, and banking info at risk. Calling it a data breach does not do it justice.

The information was included on two discs and was only password protected and not encrypted, meaning it could be fairly easy to get at. The data includes names, dates of birth, bank account, and address details. The discs went missing from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC) office.

HMRC Board member Dave Hartnett wrote an apology to all affected on the agency’s Web site. “I would like to offer my personal apologies for any worry or concern this data loss may cause you. And I can assure you that all efforts are being made to ensure that such a loss can never happen again,” he said. Source: BetaNews

The CDs were actually lost in inter-office mail, if you can believe that. 7.5 million families and 25 million people would be approximately 40% of the entire U.K. population. Heads should roll.

Gaelic Street Name = "M*sturbation Meadow" --- Yes, It Needs to be Changed

Yeah, yeah, that word isn't that bad, but AdSense picks up on it and turns all my ads into public service ones. Hence, the embedded *.

Anyway, right on the Welsh border with England there's a village called Morda. One of their streets has the Gaelic name of "Cae Onan." Now, cae translates into meadow, but onan really doesn't have a translation --- except for the Biblical figure smote by God for "spilling his seed upon the ground" (coitus interruptus) rather than possibly impregnating his late brother's wife.

Well, the term onanism has a secondary definition which means m*sturbation. So you can see the problem. Basically the translation means "M*sturbation Meadow."

Citizens of the village have started a petition to change the name, but the Council seems to think no one will pick up on this, so why bother?

My comments: well, now that this has been posted, they just might pick up on it. Also, a lot more people know about Onan than they might assume!

Wii Know What You Did --- Console Used to Confirm Wife's Cheating

Pretty sad story. Tony (last name withheld) went to Iraq, along with his Nintendo Wii. When he started getting close to returning, he sent it back to the U.S. to his wife. More on this later, as it becomes evidence for any divorce proceedings.

Anyway, Tony returns in June of 2007 and hears reports of his wife's indiscretions with another man while he was gone. Confronting her, she told him she shared one innocent kiss with the guy in October 2006 --- but that was it.

Well, as Tony said in an email to GoNintendo, in November he decides to plug in the Nintendo (no explanation why he waited so long so "I can peruse the many friends that I have created with the guys that I played with in Iraq."

What he found was a Mii he hadn't created, but that looked quite a bit like the guy her wife "innocently kissed." Upon checking the Wii Calendar he discovered his wife and this Mii had been together a lot, playing Wii Bowling. This despite the wife's assertion that she never had contact with the guy after October 2006.

Pretty damning evidence, enough to convince Tony to file for divorce. Well, I'll be honest, he also found some love emails, too.

At any rate, now you know --- you not only have to wipe your PC in the event of a crime, but your game console, too!

Swan to Spend Another Winter with Swan-Shaped Pedal Boat Heartthrob

Swans mate for life, in case you didn't know. This would mean that the citizens of the western German city of Münster had better be prepared, if they have hearts, to keep this up for a looooong time.

Last year the black swan Petra made headlines around the world when she decided to shack up with a swan-shaped pedal boat in Münster's Aasee lake. Despite attempts since last year, Petra is forever in love, it seems, and based on mating for life, it makes sense.

During last year's winter the boat and Petra were moved to the zoo, but that meant a pelican had to vacate its premises. This year they will move to the zoo again, but they've build a new winterized hutch just for the two of them.

Come on, come on, let's hear it. Awwwwwwwwww.

Hillary: "It Takes a Clinton to Clean Up After a Bush"

On Monday, during a two-day swing through Iowa, Hillary Clinton spoke about the economy yesterday. She spoke about oil prices, the credit / housing crisis, and (not enough for me) problems for middle-class workers.

But what really caught me was a great line. When speaking about the economy, and what a mess it is, Clinton noted some similarities between 1992, George H. W. Bush, and her husband Bill. "There seems to be a pattern here. It takes a Clinton to clean up after a Bush."

No matter what you think of Hillary, either she's good with ad-libs or (more likely), we can see that all the good writers aren't walking picket lines in Hollywood.

Teenager Shot, Killed After Covering His Hunting Outfit with "Deer-Colored" Blanket

David Ruck, 18, of Wisconsin was shot and killed by his 63-year old grandfather, Gerald Ruck, after covering up his blaze orange hunting outfit with a brown and white blanket.

David Ruck was shot in his upper leg and groin by his grandfather, who said he mistook him for a deer. Sadly, although as the Department of Natural Resources Hunter Safety Coordinator said "be certain of the target and what’s beyond it," one can see how a mistake could be made, since whitetail deer are brown and white.

Christmas Cards Banned for Environmental Reasons

Usually stories of holiday traditions being cancelled for political correctness reasons spark some fury, but how about this: Evan James Primary School in Wales, which has banned Christmas cards –-- for environmental reasons.

Head teacher Nicholas Daniels said the possible reasons for the ban were "endless," including the magnitude of handling that many cards for that many students. In fact, he mentioned how much time it took at his 420-student school to hand out cards.

However, the primary reason appears to be environmental:

"We did this last year and it was successful. It was a contentious decision and we had some phone calls saying we were not understanding the true spirit of Christmas but we stuck to our guns.

"We asked people, if they wanted to, to contribute the money they would have spent on cards to the school’s charity. We have a nominated charity each year.

“We knew we would face opposition but we decided to do this on moral and environmental grounds. Cards in school cause litter problems and can become a popularity contest about who gets the most."

He just mentions litter, but honestly, stuff like this wastes a lot of natural resources (think of what it takes to produce all those cards) and most of them end up in the trash --- not even recycled (be honest!).

Also, a study has shown that 50% of schoolchildren were kept awake at night by fears over global warming. Perhaps this will make them feel better?

I would like to know what readers think. Generally, as I said, P.C. reasons for cancelling holiday traditions cause quite the furor. What about this?

New Reason for the GOP to Support Universal Health Care: Tighter Immigration? Obese Woman Denied Entry to New Zealand

Well, this could get more in the GOP behind universal health care, not to say that some aren't behind it. But the type of universal health care bandied about by most U.S. politicians isn't the type that most industrialized countries have: true universal or single payer health care that costs little or nothing for the public, and that has helped most other nations achieve infant mortality rates far better than ours.

A British woman has been unable to join her husband in New Zealand because her B.M.I. (Body Mass Index) is too high. In short, she's overweight, and to a point, obese.

New Zealand has strict immigration laws around this sort of issue, because the country has universal health care and people such as Rowan Trezise, 33, and her husband Richie, 35, would be a burden to the health care system.

Richie has managed to lose enough weight to get in, but Rowan has not. If she doesn't lose it by Christmas, they're going to abandon the attempt to move.

Now, in terms of immigration, unless you've been asleep the last couple of years, you'll know that Bush has tried to push through immigration "reform," only to be stymied by his own party in Congress. Of course, my own personal feeling is the immigration "reform" Bush wants is really just another way to lower the wage cost to corporations, while helping out his friend Felipe Calderón in Mexico.

What I don't want to see is this New Zealand issue used as a serious excuse to stop universal health care in the United States. As we know, the United States is the only industrialized nation that does not have some form of universal health care. Even Mexico is working on it. Does it mean that everyone else is wrong and we are right? What do you think, particularly when you look at the statistics and compare our longevity with that of other countries?

Vermin Found in Fox News Channel Newsroom

Reports indicate that vermin have been found in the Faux News Channel, or should I say, Fox News Channel, Newsroom. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't mean the Fox & Friends hosts, or anyone like Sean Hannity. They're bedbugs.

It's been widely reported that bedbugs, once nearly exterminated in the U.S., have made a big comeback, and are now a problem in all 50 states. Our neighbor to the north, Canada, hasn't escaped unscathed either.

So, most likely these 4 - 5 mm long blood-sucking parasites made their way into the newsroom and then, just like fleas would, got into the furniture / carpeting.

I would think these pests might feel very at home at Faux News, with the likes of other blood-suckers like Bill O'Reilly and the aforementioned Hannity.

Exterminators have been called, but these new bedbugs are resistant (which is how they made their comeback) and they might be hard to get rid of ... like Faux News.

Police Aim to Deter Shoplifters with Life-Sized Cardboard Cut-Outs; One Stolen

Holiday shopping means increased shoppers, and also an increased incidence of shoplifting. In the U.K., Derbyshire police are deploying 10 life-sized cardboard cutouts of a policewoman in the Peak District to deter criminals.

They indicated that the deployment of the cut-outs does not indicate a reduction in force. According to Pc Anna Gaskill, model for the cut-outs, "We have plenty of police officers out there. It is just an extra deterrent." The cut-outs cost about £100.

The program is modeled after one already used in the Amber Valley area. Just one problem with the whole idea: in the Amber Valley program, one of the cut-outs was stolen.

Sentence for Gang-Rape Victim Increased by Saudi Court

In the United States and other countries rape victims are often "punished" by having their reputations dragged through the mud during a trial. They don't received court-meted punishment, however. In Saudi Arabia apparently things are different.

Last year the 19-year-old victim was sentenced to 90 after she met with an unrelated male. It was a simple meeting to get some photos, but the two of therem were kidnapped by the seven rapists, who abducted the pair and raped both. The rapists received sentences ranging from 10 months to five years in prison.

The victim's attorney, Abdulrahman al-Lahim, appealed the sentences as too lenient, and they were increased to a range of two to nine years. However, at the same time the court changed the victim's sentence to six months in prison and 200 lashes. The reason, according to a source: because of "her attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media."

At the same time, the court barred al-Lahim from defending his client and revoked his law license.

Need I say anything about what this says about the treatment and stature of women in the Middle East, and specifically Saudi Arabia?

Man Collapses in His Car; Meter Maid Tickets It

I guess in the U.K. meter maids take their jobs seriously. So seriously that medical emergencies take a back seat to tickets.

The man, who is diabetic, had collapsed in a car outside the entrance to Altrincham General Hospital. Nurses ran out to help the man after his driver had dashed into the hospital to ask for help, but the meter maid, noticing that the driver had pulled up in an ambulance bay, sprang into action with her ticket book.

She ignored all the activity and even continued on after the ambulance arrived and the paramedics took over the care of the patient, according to a shocked witness. The witness also said, "She finally did not give a ticket --- but it took two ambulance men and the driver to persuade her that this guy had collapsed."

He went on, "One has to wonder whether she was trying to meet a target --- or whether she was completely devoid of common sense."

Racist Rhyme Gets Teacher Suspended

There are many versions of the "eeny, meenie, miney, moe" rhyme, and apparently a teacher in Wisconsin used the "wrong" one.

A River View Middle School teacher used the rhyme while trying to pick a student to do a task. While there are several versions of the rhyme, each starting with "eeny, meenie, miney, moe", she apparently used the one with the second verse with the "n-word" in it.

The teacher has been suspended with pay while the investigation continues.

Use of a form of the rhyme by a Southwest Airlines flight attendant led to a 2003 lawsuit charging the airline with racism. The airline was acquitted in January 2004.

The rhyme in question in that case was:

Eeny meenie miney mo;
Pick a seat, it's time to go

Really racist, eh? The passengers in question were African-American and stated that they had been humiliated. Riiiight.

Police Mix Up Caucasian Man, African-American Suspect

Anthony Johnson, the suspect. Andrew Johnson, the innocent man. The names are somewhat similar. But they definitely could not be mistaken for each other visually. At least, I don't think so.

However, Florida resident Andrew Johnson can no longer drive because of a police mix-up. Anthony Johnson has been arrested twice in Broward County for felony drug possession. His license was revoked in February. The police mixed up their drivers license numbers and took Andrew's license from him (you would think they would check their computer records and see the photos are no where near similar).

Unfortunately, according to the police, the burden of proof falls on the victim, namely Andrew.

Andrew has been out of work for two weeks trying to clear this up. He sent all necessary documents to the State Attorney's Office in Ft. Lauderdale two days ago. "I'd like to get this cleared up so I can get on with my life," he said.

It's been said that eyewitness testimony is often inaccurate or even perjured, the police had all the information they needed in a computer at they still blew it.

Man Run Over by Train While Talking on Cell Phone

These are the types of accidents that New York state had in mind when they were considering banning the use of electronic devices while crossing the street. In Berkeley, California, 31-year-old Scott Slaughter was hit and killed by a train while taking a shortcut across two sets of tracks to get to work Thursday morning.

Witnesses said he waited for one train to pass on a first set of tracks, then crossed onto the second set of tracks and was hit by a second train. He didn't see or hear the second train because he was on his cell phone.

The train that hit Slaughter was a Chicago-bound Amtrak train traveling approximately 70 mph.

If Barry Bonds Receives a Prison Sentence, Will Bush Commute It?

You remember, don't you? "Scooter" Libby gets a sentence of 30 months in prison, and Bush commutes his sentence. Remember also that Libby was charged with five counts of perjury, obstruction of justice, and making false statements, with regard to the Valerie Plame "outing."

Let's now consider Barry Bonds. He has been indicted on four counts of perjury and one of obstruction of justice for his testimony about his use of steroids. Sounds familiar? Sure.

And after all, yesterday Bush spokesman Tony Fratto said,

"The president is very disappointed to hear this. As this case is now in the criminal justice system, we will refrain from any further specific comments about it. But clearly this is a sad day for baseball.”

Yes, so if we are to heal, should Bush commute any sentence? Well, here are the differences:

1. Bonds is not a crony of Bush
2. Most people feel he's arrogant and dislike him. Even in the SF Bay Area, they feel he's arrogant, though some still like him.
3. Neither side, liberal or conservative is going to be shouting for a pardon or commutation.

Really, this whole piece has been tongue-in-cheek, as despite my attempts at humor there's no chance Bush isn't going to commute Bonds' sentence. But it does bring up a good question: why exactly was it right to commute Libby's sentence?

Oral Copulation Gene Discovered; Men Lament That It's in Fish Only

Men should be interested in this; certain species of cichlids have developed a gene that makes females suck sperm into their mouths. Yep, something that human men would love.

Anyway, for most fish, reproduction occurs when the sight of a brightly colored male triggers females with fertile eggs to start releasing them. In cichlids, females incubate the eggs in their mouths. Normally, sperm released into the water by a male nearby will fertilize the eggs.

Ah, but in some species of East African cichlids, females are "encouraged" by oval yellow markings found on the anal or pelvic fins of the male. These resemble eggs and when a female approaches the male, she tries to vacuum it up in her mouth --- and gets a mouthful of sperm in the process.

Walter Salzburger at the University of Lausanne, Switzerland led the study, and his team identified the gene, csf1ra as the "culprit." DNA samples from 19 cichlid species, nine with egg spots on their fins and 10 that did not, showed that the species that had evolved most recently had a mutation in the csf1ra linked to the egg spots.

Salzburger says this shows that the dummy egg spots are a genetic trait that provides a selective advantage because they encourage females to participate in oral copulation.

"Too Sexy for Southwest" Woman Sheds All for Playboy

It was clothes, albeit clothes that Southwest Airlines deemed too skimpy that got Kayla Ebbert into trouble in the first place. So why not shed them and take your 15 minutes of fame?

Kayla Ebbert appears in a photo spread, some in lingerie, some nude --- titled, "Legs in the Air" on Playboy's website.

I stand by my prior assessment of her, by the way. Nice body, but not that great a face.

According to the "interview" on the site, Ebbert, 23, has wanted to pose for Playboy since she was 18. "The Playboy shoot was amazing."

And of course, being Playboy, they asked her if she was a member of the Mile-High club, to which she answered yes. "Yes, I am a member of the mile high club. And no, it was not on Southwest. It was on a private plane."

Has to be the Worst Auto Dealership Name Ever

I think the picture above speaks for itself (click to enlarge). Now, my question is: what the heck were they thinking?

I looked around the site, in the FAQ and About sections of the site, hoping to find out that it was owned by the Menlove family, or something. But I couldn't find that info. I mean, it's in Utah; I would have expected, er, some objection to the name at least.

And that toll-free number? 1-877-MENLOVE? I mean, I kept thinking it had to be a joke, but it's linked to Dealer.com, an automotive dealer marketing site, so it can't be a joke.

On the other hand, maybe it really IS Menlove.

I'm wondering, also, if they get a bunch of crank calls every day.

Disney Would Really Prefer You Not Scatter Ashes --- Human Remains, That Is

Disney's not having a good week. Not only has Disney confirmed what we already knew --- that the world has an obesity problem, and thus so do visitors to Disney theme parks --- but Disney's theme parks apparently have an ash problem. And I don't mean cigarettes.

What brought this to light was that last Friday, workers at Disneyland spotted a guest on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride sprinkling an unidentified substance into the water. Naturally, in this age of terror fears, they closed the ride and called the police.

They determined it wasn't harmful, but didn't go any further. Turns out, according to Disney employees that emailed a number of media outlets, this was just another example of the scattering of human remains at the park.

In California, it's a misdemeanor violation of the state Health and Safety Code to scatter human ashes on private property. Of course, there's not much that can be done to prevent is, especially on a property as large as a theme park.

And, as Kevin Flanagan, spokeman for the Cemetery and Funeral Bureau of the state Department of Consumer Affairs said, "I don't think it's any secret to anybody that people will scatter ashes where people can get away with it. But how are you going to enforce something like that?"

Political Correctness Gone Wild? Santa Claus Can't Say "Ho, Ho, Ho"

It's bad enough when schools cancel holiday traditions, but now jolly old Santa's laugh is going to be banned? At least this story is happening in Australia, and not in the U.S.

Santas in Sydney are protesting attempts to change their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favour of "ha, ha, ha." The company in question, Westaff --- which supplies hundreds of Santas across Australia --- has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Give me a break. Kids know about "ho, ho, ho" and do you honestly think anyone really thinks of the other connotation for "ho" when Santa Claus is the one saying it? This is, as I said, political correctness gone wild.

Let's leave Santa alone to deliver his toys in peace.

Britney Spears Gives Heidi Klum Parenting Advice. Seriously.

When I think of someone with good parenting skills, I certainly don't think of Britney Spears. But perhaps I've misjudged her. Naaaah.

Perhaps then Heidi Klum is not as good at parenting as Britney. Let's hope that's not the case.

At any rate, on Tuesday’s Ellen, Project Runway host and creator Heidi Klum said Britney taught her how to properly diaper her baby.

First of all, I can't imagine Britney ever diapered her own baby. But maybe she just has more common sense.

"You know these sticky things on the side? I never knew that they were there. To close them in the front, I was always putting string around. I had no idea," Klum said to Ellen.
"It’s very clever. I learned a lot of things."

Well, she's a model because of her looks, not her brains. I can't imagine someone couldn't figure out what those "sticky things."

Used Condoms Recycled Into Hairbands in China

Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China. For consumers, the good news is the price: 3¢ for 10 bands. The bad news is obvious.

Naturally there would be some attempt to disinfect them, but still. I wouldn't want something like this in my hair (not that I would use a hairband anyway).

A government official said that recycling condoms was illegal; still so was a lot of other stuff that's happened so far this year, coming out of China.

If you happen to see any cheap hairbands, made in China, that look like the above, pass on 'em.

No Presidency, But Colbert Ties for Virginia Soils Board

He may have dropped his presidential bid, but without even trying, Stephen Colbert ended up in a three-way tie for a seat on the Williamburg, Virginia Colonial Soil and Water Conservation District Board in the Nov. 6 election.

The winner will be decided by a random drawing, but Colbert can't win anyway: he's not a registered voter in Williamsburg. The board oversees natural resources, and Colbert's votes were due to write-ins.

It wasn't a hotly contested race anyway; the tie was at 3 votes total.

It would have been nice, however. Because of the Hollywood writer's strike, talk shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have been on hiatus. He's probably looking for things to do to keep busy.

Majority Believe Bush, Cheney Abused Powers: Survey

A new survey by the American Research Group shows that a majority of Americans believe that President Bush and Vice-President Cheney have abused the powers of their respective offices. The group conducted a random sampling of 1,100 registered voters nationwide between November 9-12, 2007.

Although the majority believe both abused their powers, among overall voters, the belief is still that they should not be impeached.

For Bush, the survey showed 64% believe he abused his powers. However, only 34% believed these abuses were impeachable.

For Cheney, 70% believe he abused his powers. However, only 43% believed these abuses were impeachable.

A few news sources, including Democracy Now!, have said that "Most Believe Bush Committed Impeachable Offenses" (quote from Democracy Now!). While a majority of those who believe he abused his powers do believe the abuse is impeachable, it's a bit misleading since this headline doesn't include those who don't believe he abused his powers. The same applies to Cheney.

It's also interesting that the majority of Republicans still have blinders on, with only 36% of Republicans saying that Bush abused his powers, and 39% saying Cheney abused his powers.

Still, isn't the abuse of power alone enough to make one look askance at this presidency? Isn't the shredding of the Constitution enough?

When Eggnog Isn't Good Enough, Try Some Kosher Ham Soda for the Holidays

Jones Soda, a Seattle-based company famous for, well, its weird soda flavors, has announced its holiday packs. There are two different ones:

The Christmas Pack: Christmas Ham Soda, Christmas Tree Soda, Egg Nog Soda and Sugar Plum Soda (all certified kosher).

The Chanukah Pack: Latke Soda, Apple Sauce Soda, Chocolate Coins Soda and Jelly Doughnut Soda (all certified kosher).

The above sodas are also caffeine-free. They sell for $12.99 per pack or you can buy the combo of both for $21.98.

A few forum postings on the site indicate that a Kwanzaa Pack is on some people's wish list. Jones Soda also has (very limited) quantities of their Turkey & Gravy soda, which they sold previously.

As disgusting as Turkey & Gravy sounds, I'd almost like to try it just to see what it tastes like.

Paris to Put Her Experience to Use Saving Drunken Elephants

Paris Hilton is putting her experience with drinking to good use in saving Indian elephants. You may recall that in late October six wild elephants were electrocuted when they went on a drunken rampage after drinking rice beer.

How did they get rice beer, you may ask? A herd came to a remote village in India looking for foodand some of them discovered beer that farmers ferment. The rest is history.

According to a report posted on the World Entertainment News Network website, Hilton said, "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad. The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."

First of all, Paris, it's not like the villagers were just handing the beer to them! The cause of saving wildlife is a good one, but it seems obvious this is just a faux cause that Paris is using to advancer her "new image" as a world-traveling do-gooder.

Although some groups applaud Paris' statement, which, if you really read it, needs a good writer to "punch it up," others say Hilton and others must look at the big picture.

"Elephants appear on human settlements ... because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, director of Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group. "A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact.''

Only in Florida: Robbery Suspect Killed by Alligator While Fleeing

A man suspected of breaking into cars at Miccosukee Resort and Gaming in Miami, Florida was killed by an alligator while fleeing, in a scene out of a Tarzan movie.

His partner was captured, but this suspect jumped into a large pond behind the facility in an attempt to flee. While swimming he was ... there's no gentle way to put this ... attacked and killed by a nine-foot-long alligator, who bit him several times on the head, according to the police (who were obviously watching from a safe distance).

The body was recovered the next day from the bottom of the pond. Neither of the suspects was identified in the report.

The alligator, well-known on the resort as "Poncho," was captured and transported to All American Gator in Pembroke Park.

In Florida, anytime an alligator kills a person, it must be destroyed according to a Florida Fish and Game state law.

Indian Man Marries Dog to Ward Off Curse

P. Selvakumar, 33, said he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago. To atone for this, he married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony Sunday.

According to Selvakumar, after that incident, his "legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear."

An astrologer had told him the wedding was the only way he could end the curse. To this end, his family picked out (an arranged marriage!) Selvi, a former stray.

Apparently such marriages are not uncommon in India, in cases of warding off "bad omens" or "evil spells" --- and the participants are free to marry again and do not need to divorce.

Another word comes to my mind besides atonement, however.

Britney Blows It Again By Running Red Light, Failing (?) Drug Test

Late last week the former pop princess blew it again, by driving through a red light while texting. Her kids were asleep in the back and the court-appointed monitor, who's always with her while she visits her kids, was crouching in the passenger seat. It looks like Britney was texting while driving, but it also appears from the video here that she was also distracted by all the camera flashes. Still, a dangerous mistake, running the red light.

It's said that ex Kevin Federline wants to put a stop to her driving around with her sons after hearing of this incident, and that his lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, is deciding whether or not he actually wants to subpoena the footage.

But that's not all!

Word is she has failed a drug test. Just last week Federline’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan claimed Britney has missed 8 out of 14 drug test appointments.

However (of course), a source tells TMZ that it was a false positive. "The only thing that comes on the results are the prescriptions, that the court doctor prescribed." The source added, "There has been no illegal drugs or even alcohol in any of the test results."

Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if she failed a drug test. Honestly, it would be more of a surprise if she didn't fail a drug test.

"You Mean '24' Isn't Real?"

On Sunday, AP reported that despite the popularity of shows like '24,' such shows can't change reality, and the reality is that suitcase-sized nuclear bombs just aren't likely to ever exist. Maybe an SUV, but not a suitcase.

This thoroughly disappointed the hosts of Faux News' Fox & Friends, particularly Kelly Wright, on the episode that aired the same day, November 11th.

"You mean '24' isn't true? '24's my favorite show." Then Page Hopkins jumped in and said, "I thought it was gospel."

I realize these guys were just kidding around --- at least, I think so --- but it's still something that I wouldn't put past Faux News to believe, that '24' is an accurate depiction, that is.

Robbers Snag Pizzas, No Cash from Deliveryman

So now people are robbing kids of their candy at gunpoint, and robbers steal pizzas from a deliveryman, but no cash.

In Palm Bay, Florida, on Saturday, November 10th at 8:30 PM, a deliveryman was preparing to drop off two pizzas when two masked men approached, according to police. They got away with the pizzas, but no cash.

They went through the trouble of putting masks on, but didn't bother trying for cash? Don't tell me this is another case of the munchies gone wild (if you get my drift)?

One-Third of Women Have Sex on First Date after Meeting Online

If I was younger and more stupid, I would probably ask, "where are these women?"

Seriously, though, what are they thinking? A survey published in the US journal Sexuality Research and Social Policy showed that of the 568 women surveyed,

• 27% admitted to having oral sex on the first date,
• One-third admitted having sex with their Internet "partners" the first time they met,
• Of the one-third who had sex, 75% did not use a condom

Most likely because of the amount of time these pairs may have spent online with each other, they felt comfortable with each other, past the point that normally takes (?) a few dates. Or perhaps they may just have worked themselves into a frenzy with some online hanky-panky.

At any rate, I think this is being just a little naive and perhaps reckless; who really knows if the guy is married or not, and just because you know them, even if it had been over many dates, doesn't mean safe sex is out.

Serial Killer of Security Guards --- is a Security Guard

In Bangkok, Thailand, police have arrested a hospital security guard who allegedly killed at least seven fellow security guards and seriously injured another 10. Wittaya Jaikhan, 30, a security guard at Samitivej Sirnakarintara Hospital, was arrested Saturday, ending a five-month manhunt.

Now here's the kicker: he confessed, and said he was doing it because he was angry with the unprofessional behavior of the other guards.

"I hate guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty," he said.

Don't get the idea it was all outrage, however. He apparently stole items from the other guards after cracking them over the skull.

Melody Road - a Road That Plays a Tune (Sorta)

Only in Japan, right? Have you ever driven over a road that has grooves in it, such that you get a (usually nasty) resonance and vibration? That's often done to make sure you don't drive off the edge of an offramp or some other similar "hazard." Well, a Japanese scientist got the "bright idea" of cutting the grooves in such a way as to produce a kind of music.

There are three places in Japan with Melody Roads, including Hokkaido, Wakayama and Gunma. And yes, the road has a musical note painted on it, so you can be sure to know why exactly that crazy sound is coming from your tires.

I listened to it, BTW, and to me it's not so much a song as a noise. There were occasional times when I could almost, almost make out a melody, though.

Watch a video clip (all in Japanese, though):

U.S. Navy Embarrassed by Chinese Sub Popping Up --- in the Midst of a Naval Exercise

The U.S. Navy's most powerful, and therefore, most valuable and protected, warships are its aircraft carriers. Thus, when a fleet is deployed the mission of the rest of the vessels is generally to protect the carrier. It's somewhat embarrassing when a submarine can get within striking distance of a carrier, in the midst of an actual exercise.

A Chinese Song Class diesel-electric attack submarine (pictured above) popped up in the middle of a Pacific exercise, within striking distance of the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Kitty Hawk.

The U.S. had no idea that China's submarines become so sophisticated. The U.S. prides itself on its submarine-detection technology and yet this sub got into the middle of the fleet undetected. China's 13 Song Class submarines are extremely quiet and difficult to detect when running on electric motors.

Commodore Stephen Saunders, editor of Jane's Fighting Ships, said "It was certainly a wake-up call for the Americans."

Candidate Loses Election by One Vote After Wife Fails to Vote

I think there's going to be a serious discussion in this household.

Bill Monroe, a two-term former City Council member (he served from 1996 - 2003, but didn't run then), lost by one vote in his bid to return to the Winchester City Council in Indiana. If his wife had voted, he would have tied with Tom Sells, a GOP newcomer.

Under state law, the remaining city council members would have had to break the tie.

He only lost by 112 - 111. Upon realizing what had happened his wife said, "Oh my God, look what I've done."

However, this might be for the best. In May Monroe had some unspecified health problems, and he didn't campaign because of them. He did say, however, that his cardiologist said politics is bad for his health, so you can probably guess what type of problems he had.

Women Indicted for Stealing Candy from Kids --- on Halloween --- at Gunpoint

It's bad enough for adults to steal candy from kids, but to do it on Halloween is even worse. And to have to resort to using a gun? What could possibly be more heinous?

Kendra Grace Butts, 18, and Amber Marie Martin, 20, both of Wasilla, Alaska -- were indicted Friday on seven counts of robbery, one of attempted robbery and eight of assault.

According to state troopers, the robbery occurred around 5:15 p.m. Oct. 31, according to troopers. A Dodge truck drove past the children, made a U-turn and returned. Two women wearing ski masks exited the truck. One pointed a gun at the children and fired a warning shot into the air.

The women told the children to hand over their candy or be killed, the children told troopers.

Although this crime is the easiest to prosecute, as they have the children as witnesses, the pair and their boyfriends, Michael Scott Wilson and Aaron J. Tolen, both 24, have been linked to a string of burglaries in the Upper Susitna Valley area.

Personally, I wonder if the women just had the "munchies," if you get my drift.

U.S. Near Bottom for Infant Mortality in Industrialized Nations --- All the Rest have Universal Health Care

An Associated Press story today stated the United States is among the worst industrialized nations in infant mortality. It cited a World Health Organization report issued in 2004 which states that in the U.S. roughly seven babies died for every 1,000 live births before reaching their first birthday.

But this isn't new news. In fact, that same AP story cited a 2006 Save the Children report that placed the U.S. next to last among industrialized nations, just ahead of Latvia.

So here's my point: I would assume that most people in this country would do anything to reduce infant mortality, though perhaps I'm wrong since this same country doesn't seem able to pass SCHIP, which would help underprivileged children. Yet at the same time, if you look at the Save the Children report, all of those industrialized countries have something we do not: Universal Health Care.

Whenever the GOP talks about Universal Health Care, they always use the term "socialized medicine," to evoke fears of the "Red Menace" and communism. But that's a misnomer. Most of these plans are single-payer; one payer for everyone that eliminates all the red tape and overhead which causes inefficiencies and raises costs.

One only need look north to see a good example of the results. Canada is oh-so-similar to the U.S. in lifestyle. Yet look at the numbers.

After 35 years of Universal Health Care, Canada is far ahead of us in life expectancy and infant mortality rates ... and spends far less than us per capita for health care.

And one need only look at articles in such places as Wikipedia to see how widespread Universal Health Care is across the world. Yet the United States continues to go its own way. Why?

It can't be because we have it right and everyone else is wrong. Common sense along would say that. No, it's obvious why. Lobbyists. Insurance companies. Pharmaceutical companies. Even organizations like the AMA.

Deep pockets all. Yet when some people are asked about this, they fear change and they think that "socialized medicine" (which it is not) is the way to the destruction of the American way of life.

On the contrary, with so many bankruptcies in America due to medical bills, and many of those for people who have insurance, we have simply been brainwashed into going along with the status quo.

Americans believe we live in the greatest nation in the world. Yet we are so far behind in this category (and to be honest, others as well).

As the Yes! Magazine article I linked above says,

Publicly funded health care has its problems, as any Canadian or Briton knows. But like democracy, it’s the best answer we’ve come up with so far.

Disney: It's a Large World, After All

Take a look around you anywhere, and you'll see evidence of America's obesity problem. Just a look at people's waistlines will show you just how many more obese people there are. And it's not limited to America, either.

Well, Disneyland has had to face facts as well, and the unfortunate habit of boats on the "It's a Small World" ride to run aground means that the ride will be forced to close in January for necessary upgrades.

While publicly Disney says the reason for the fixes centers around layers of fiberglass patches in the waterway, all you have to do is watch the ride to see the "magnitude" of the problem. Employees currently eye riders and leave empty rows in some boats to prevent hang-ups, but even with that the boats still run aground.

So the waterway will be deepened, and boats that ride a little higher in the water will be added to the ride. What to do until the ride is fixed? Wait, isn't that a food stand?

Bush "Supports the Troops" by Gaming with Them

While Veterans' Day approaches, and a report from the National Alliance to End Homelessness was released finding that veterans make up one-quarter of the U.S. homeless population, Bush was supporting the troops his own way --- video gaming with them.

Although veterans make up about 11% of the civilian adult population, the above report stated they comprise 26% of the homeless.

Meanwhile, on Thursday, Bush was touring a new $45 million, privately-funded veterans' rehab center at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas. Much of the visit was spent with wounded vets, but Bush also spent time gaming with them.

He played a game that simulated a Baghdad firefight (Call of Duty 4, maybe? ). No word on how well --- or poorly --- he did. I'm guessing he got pwned.

At any rate, it's obvious this was mostly a photo-op session, what with Veterans' Day coming on Sunday, but it's still annoying, as we all know George W. didn't do any real service, and certainly faced no combat.

But don't get me wrong; as far as gaming goes for vets it's been shown that video games can help veterans deal with PTSD.

Tom DeLay: "No American Is Denied Health Care In America"

Thursday, while speaking in the U.K., Tom DeLay warned that if the GOP doesn't get its act together, Hillary Clinton would be the next U.S. president. I think he picked the wrong audience though, because he stated that a Clinton victory would result in higher taxes and bloated government and also that she would seek to create a British-style publicly funded health care system. Since this was the U.K., that prediction that was met with thunderous applause.

When he then said, "By the way, there's no one denied health care in America. There are 47 million people who don't have health insurance, but no American is denied health care in America," he was met with derisive laughter.

What dream world does Tom DeLay live in anyway?

• 1993: 18-month old Mychelle Williams, who was denied care and died, because the hospital the ambulance took her to was an out-of-network, non-Kaiser hospital. This case was detailed in the film Sicko.


• Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran Lt. Jullian Goodrum was refused medical treatment after he talked publicly about poor care at the base, which helped spark hearings in Congress.


• How about the Ground Zero workers who were denied health care when the feds government approved inadequate funds to address their permanent health problems, such as sinusitis and asthma, associated with work at the site.
  

Yep, dream world for DeLay, nightmare for others.

LAPD to Map Muslim Communities

The Los Angeles Police Department's anti-terrorism bureau has announced plans to map Muslim communities, saying it will be used to identify communities that might be likely to become isolated and susceptible to "violent, ideologically based extremism," said Deputy Chief Michael P. Downing on Thursday.

Downing also said that the Muslim Public Affairs Council has embraced the program "in concept." But at the same time, the group's executive director, Salam Al-Marayati, said Thursday that the group wanted to know more about the plan --- which doesn't really sound like MPAC has accepted the plan "in concept."

"We will work with the LAPD and give them input, while at the same time making sure that people's civil liberties are protected," said Al-Marayati.

Several Muslim groups and the ACLU of Southern California sent Downing a letter expressing "grave concerns" about the program.

Meanwhile, Downing has said the actual program has not begun, and he compared it to market research, while ACLU Executive Director Ramona Ripston compared the program to the Red Scare of the 1950s.

Frankly, I can see the subtle, or perhaps not-so-subtle, racial profiling overtones, and I'm surprised the plan hasn't had even more attention from groups such as the ACLU. Of course, the LAPD has frequently been controversial (recall the immigration clash earlier this year?).

Flasher Flashes Court During Appearance ... on Flashing Conviction

Enough flashing, please! I'm sure that's what the court said. A German flasher stripped during a appearance in a court in Duisburg regarding his original conviction.

His original conviction was over running onto a soccer field naked during a girl's soccer game and striking "body builder poses."

Naturally a new set of charges was filed after his latest, er, incident.

Do India's Teachers Need Some Remedial Studies in Treatment of Students?

Several pretty bad incidents, two of which have resulted in deaths. First in Kerala, a nursery school teacher forced a three-year-old student to drink her own urine after the student wet herself in class. The teacher, Mary Dominic, of the government-supported nursery school at Muppliam village was suspended. She said that she was trying to cure the child of bed-wetting, by making her drink a spoonful of urine.

Then, in New Delhi, a teacher slapped a student who was doodling in his schoolbook. "His spine snapped because of the blow and he was paralyzed," said Satya Prakash, father of 14-year-old Ajay. Ajay died two weeks later while being operated on.

And let's not forget Milan Tanna, 16. Last month in Ahmedabad, Gujarat, he died after his teacher ordered him to run laps of the school grounds for arriving 15 minutes late to class. He collapsed after one lap and was taken to hospital, where he was declared dead.

Finally (though I'm sure not lastly), In September Chetan Soni, another student in Ahmedabad accused his teacher of hitting him so hard that he suffered temporary hearing loss in his right ear. He said his only "crime" was tearing a classmate’s homework by accidentally stepping on it.

A pattern? Definitely, but hard to understand why it's still going on, since the Supreme Court of India banned corporal punishment in December 2000.

If You're Going to Fake a Car Theft, Make Sure You Don't Have LoJack

Behind on your car payments? Don't want it to be repossessed? Well, that's the situation Sandy Mathews of Oceanside, California, found herself in. So she did what we all would do --- faked the theft of her 1999 GMC Yukon. She forgot about it being equipped with LoJack, though.

She first put license plates from her boyfriend's 2006 Buick on it, then hid it in a friend's backyard in Escondido, and finally reported it stolen to both police and insurance. Police took the report, activated the LoJack, and promptly found the vehicle.

Mathews' friend said she didn't know it was stolen and that Mathews had stored it there. This obviously was a red flag to the police.

Mathews has been arrested on suspicion of falsely reporting a crime to a peace officer and filing a false report of a vehicle theft with the intent to deceive.

Buy a falafel, become a terror suspect?

Buy a falafel, become a terror suspect? At least, that's what the FBI was considering.

The FBI examined customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores 2005/06, hoping that sales of Middle Eastern grocery items and food might lead them to Iranian terrorists.

According to sources, the the program was the brainchild of top FBI counter-terrorism officials Phil Mudd and Willie Hulon. The idea was to combine a perceived spike in sales with other data to target possible agents.

The program was derailed when some bright person (actually, the head of the FBI's criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason) noted that placing someone on a terrorism watch list because of their diet could be illegal.

On the other hand, when has that stopped the Bush Administration before?

Aqua Dots Recalled: Chemical on Beads Metabolizes into Date-Rape Drug If Ingested

It makes you want to go back to the days of recalls over lead in toys, doesn't it. In the U.S., they're called Aqua Dots. In Australia, where where it was named toy of the year earlier this year, it is called Bindeez. In either country, it's called trouble.

Millions have been pulled from shelves in North America and Australia after scientists found they contain a chemical that metabolizes into GHB, a powerful “date rape” drug when ingested.

According to the CPSC, it's received two reports of injury:

1. A 20-month-old child swallowed several dozen beads. He became dizzy and vomited several times before slipping into a comatose state for a period of time, was hospitalized, and has since fully recovered.
2. A second child also vomited and slipped into a comatose state and was hospitalized for five days.

And yes, they're from China.

Bush: "Iraqis are saying 'God, I Love Freedom'"

Wednesday President Bush held a joint press conference with French President Nicholas Sarkozy. When asked about the quagmire that is Iraq, Bush said,

I don’t --- you know quagmire is an interesting word. If you lived in Iraq and had lived under a tyranny, you’d be saying: God, I love freedom, because that’s what’s happened.

And there are killers and radicals and murderers who kill the innocent to stop the advance of freedom. But freedom’s happening in Iraq. And we’re making progress.

I'm not so sure he's spoken to any Iraqis about this, or at least, not Iraqis who aren't politicians who have been put in place by Bush and his cronies.

For example, here's an April 2006 story where Eman Ahmad Khamas told Maui Community College students that "conditions in Iraq are far worse now than when Saddam Hussein ruled."

Then there's this story, from October 30th of this year, where the Chaldean patriarch of Baghdad, recently named Iraq’s first cardinal, said that "rising violence has made life worse for Iraqi Christians since the U.S.-led invasion."

William Blum's July 21st, 2006 op-ed about "Why Bush's Iraq is Worse Than Saddam's."

Torture in Iraq now worse than under Saddam? That's what this Sept. 21st, 2006 story said.

And let's not forget the Iraqi refugee crisis.

They may be free of Saddam, but they're also free of electricity, food, water ... and safe places to walk.

Homeless Man, Desperate for Sex Hotline Call, Breaks Into Church to Use The Phone --- Twice

I'm not sure there's a Commandment on this, but still. A homeless man, James Macnair, 35, broke into a church in Valley Cottage, New York on Monday afternoon and used the phone to call a sex hotline. He had previously broken into the church the prior Friday, for the same purpose.

Both times he was caught by a church treasurer. The first time she let him go, but the second time she called 911 (smart!).

Macnair was held without bail and was due back in court today. It's unknown if he called the same hotline both times.

Eight-Limbed Girl's Surgery a Success

A two-year-old Indian child born with eight-limbs has had successful surgery to remove the extra limbs, salvage her organs, and rebuild her pelvis area, said the chief orthopedic surgeon involved in the operation.

In Bangalore, Dr. Sharan Patil said of the 24-hour-long surgery, which involved over 30 doctors, "Beyond our expectations, the reconstruction worked wonderfully well."

Lakshmi Tatma was born joined to a "parasitic twin" that stopped developing in her mother's womb. She absorbed the limbs, kidneys and other body parts of the undeveloped fetus. Thus, not only did she have eight limbs, she had four kidneys, entangled nerves, two stomach cavities and two chest cavities (X-ray above, click to enlarge).

Some in her village believed her to be the reincarnation of the four-armed Hindu deity Vishnu. Not only was she born with additional limbs, she was also born on the day devoted to the celebration of Vishnu.

Her parents Poonam Devi and Shambu Das were turned away from several hospitals before meeting Dr Patil. The cost of the operation, expected to be about £100,000, will be covered by the hospital.

A YouTube Version of "America's Most Wanted"?

Maybe what YouTube needs is a "CrimeStoppers" Channel.

Bob Guertin, owner of Big Sticks Fine Cigars in Mesa, Arizona, decided to use the Internet and YouTube after being robbed not once, but twice by the same thieves. Both thefts were caught on tape.

The first theft occurred on November 1st. That clip is below. In that case, only one person was involved; he stole a men's Seiko watch.



The second time, two days later, that same person came in with a partner. His friend distracted an employee and while she was showing him a lighter, the original thief opened a case and took another watch. Another employee chased him out of the store and watched him get into a faded white 1976, 1977 or 1978 short box, full size old Chevy/GMC work van; AZ license plate # 329-NFD. That clip is below.



What can you say, they are YouTube stars! There's a $1000 reward. The Mesa Police Department has a tipline at 602-885-5296.

Dana Perino: "Never reasonable to restrict constitutional freedoms in the name of fighting terrorism"

As I'm sure you know, Pervez Musharraf has declared a "state of emergency" and martial law in Pakistan. Musharraf has indicated that the reasons national security and preventing terrorism are the reasons behind this.

In a White House press conference yesterday, Dana Perino indicated the (to put it mildly) the U.S. wasn't happy with his actions. When asked about the suspension of constitutional freedom with regards to prevention of terrorism:

Q But what he says what he's doing is against the terrorists, that is necessary to preserve stability there against terrorist organizations?

MS. PERINO: We do not believe that any extra-constitutional means were necessary in order to help prevent terrorism in the region. And that's why we are deeply disappointed with the actions, and we asked them to not do it.

Q Is it ever reasonable to restrict constitutional freedoms in the name of fighting terrorism?

MS. PERINO: In our opinion, no.

Ironic isn't it? After all, looking at the history of the Bush Administration since 9/11, many would say a number of constitutional freedoms have been "reduced," to say the least. For example:

• Warrantless Wiretapping
  

• Habeas corpus suspension for detainess --- (Article I, Section 9, Clause 2 of the Constitution reads: “The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.”)
  

Some would say that's just the tip of the iceberg. Based on the performance of the Bush Adminstration with regards to our Constitutional rights, they don't have much of a leg to stand on in terms of being critical of Musharraf.

H.S. Students Use School-Issued Laptops to Create, Send Porn

Look, if the OLPC can be used to surf for porn, why would this surprise anyone? These are MacBooks, after all ... built-in webcam ... and as Apple likes to say, great for multimedia!

In Snow Hill, North Carolina, students used school-issued laptops at Greene Central High School were used to create and distribute porn. It's become a big deal, with the N.C. State Bureau of Investigation (SBI) involved.

In one case, a 16-year-old student reportedly sent video of himself with his 15-year-old girlfriend to a teacher by mistake.

For a minimal insurance fee, students in sixth through 12th grades in Greene County get a MacBook to take home. The school system leases the laptops with a combination of tax money and grants. As I said, each of this year's models has a webcam.

Greene County Schools Superintendent Dr. Steve Mazingo said the school system does not plan to cancel the laptop program. Administrators, however, are working with the district attorney's office on a video (how ironic!) to teach students about how serious charges can be for using the cameras inappropriately.

Authorities have not charged any students yet, but they could face felony charges and mandatory jail time for a first offense if they were convicted (doubtful that they would go this far). On the other hand, at the school level, students who violate computer conduct policies can be banned from using any school computer.

Lesson one: if you're going to send something like this, zip (or rar) it and encrypt with a password, then double-check the email address (whether you're sending it directly or using some file-sharing site like box.net).

Perhaps this will be turned into one of those Mac vs. PC commercials, touting the multimedia capabilities of the MacBook? No? You don't think so?

Pat Boone: Electing a Democratic Governor Will Turn Kentucky Into Another San Francisco

Democratic gubernatorial nominee Steven Beshear is predicted to have an easy win in Kentucky, with some polls placing Beshear as much as twenty-five percentage points ahead of Republican incumbent Governor Ernie Fletcher. Desperation time for the GOP.

They have created a robo-call by Pat Boone, who basically says that electing Beshear will turn Kentucky into another San Francisco, and he doesn't mean just a liberal state. He means it'll turn Kentucky into a gay mecca.

The call says,

Hello friends, this is Pat Boone, a fellow Kentuckian by descent from granddaddy Dan'l. I've always been proud of Kentucky's stance on patriotic, military and moral issues; a great heritage.

Now, as an American and a Christian I am very concerned about the upcoming governor's election. Ernie Fletcher is a typical Kentuckian, he's worked long and hard for the state, its people, and its traditions. And, of course, he has come under attack by political opponents and now he faces a man who wants his job who has consistently supported every homosexual cause: same sex marriage, gay adoption, special rights, to gay, lesbian, bisexual, even transgender individuals.

The problem is gay advocacy groups CFAIR just enthusiastically endorsed Beshear, knowing he's their guy. Kentuckians have already voted to amend the state constitution to prohibit same sex marriage. Now, do you want governor who'd like Kentucky to be like another San Francisco? Please reelect Ernie Fletcher.

This message paid for by the Republican Party of Kentucky.

Hey, Pat, you know there are some good things about San Francisco, right? After all, Tony Bennett, a singer from your generation, left his heart there.

You can download or play the audio here.

Oh, there's also another set of calls going on that no one wants to take credit for. Purportedly made by CFAIR (the Fairness Campaign, above), the robo-call says:

For the first time in 20 years the homosexual lobby proudly endorses a candidate for governor, Steve Beshear. Beshear is receiving major support from out-of-state gay activists.

Sort of a reverse message? Trying to scare people off in the Pat Boone way but by pretending to be CFAIR? CFAIR has denied any knowledge of the calls.

Update: Sorry, Pat, Beshear won.

"Woof Water" Throws the Environment to the Dogs

Lately bottled water has gotten a bad name. Cities like San Francisco have banned its purchase using city funds. Why? Bottled water is an environmental disaster, using petroleum to produce the bottles, which are frequently tossed in the garbage rather than recycled, and the water itself is sometimes no better ... or nothing more than purified tap water --- which you could get by simply adding a filter to your faucet.

Of course, bottled water is certainly convenient. Now Avery's Beverages, one of New England's oldest soda bottling companies has launched a new product, "Woof Water," which it advertises as "requested by name by more dogs than any other bottled water."

Avery General Manager Rob Metz said customers told him they wanted a water they could share with their pets. On the positive spin side, Avery is donating a portion of sales to the Our Companions Domestic Animal Sanctuary.

So now our canine companions have an excuse to pollute the environment in more ways than what they generally leave on the road ... which their owners frequently don't pick up. Just so you know, I always carry bags to pick up my dogs' waste, and I use filtered tap water myself.

Stephen Colbert Drops Presidential Bid to Allow "Nation to Heal"

As we know, last week the South Carolina Democratic Party voted to keep Stephen Colbert off their primary ballot. Today we were told it was close --- he only lost by 10 votes, 13 - 3. Because of this, Colbert has thrown in the towel, dropping his presidential bid and joining the likes of Tommy Thompson and Sam Brownback.

In a statement released today, Colbert said,

"Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history — only 10 votes — I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle. It is time for this nation to heal. I want to say to my supporters, this is not over. While I may accept the decision of the Council, the fight goes on! The dream endures! And I am going off the air until I can talk about this without weeping."

Colbert is going off the air, but not because of this. Shows like his and The Daily Show can't stockpile scripts, so the writers strike means they are effectively in limbo.

BTW, Stephen Colbert called into Brian & The Judge today. Here's his "concession speech," as Colbert said the country is not ready for a Constitutional crisis.

Topless Picture of Underage Cheerleader, Female Coach Leads to Firings

Why ... or how ... do schools manage to hire such screwed up teachers / coaches? Goshen High School is a little shocked, to say the least. 19-year-old freshman cheerleader coach Victoria Schattauer and 19-year-old assistant football coach Andrew Emerson held a party at his house two weekends ago. Not only did they serve alcohol to underage students, they took the above picture.

Note to the curious: no, I wasn't going to post the uncensored photo here, and the cheerleader is underage, hence the blurred face. Schattauer is on the left.

As normal people with no brains tend to do, they allowed the photo to be distributed via email. That's where the police generally come in, especially when one of the females in the picture is 15-years-old.

Both coaches were fired (no!). As far as the cheerleader herself goes, "appropriate disciplinary action against the student, in accordance with the Code of Conduct and Athletic Eligibility, has been taken." Translation: off the squad.

Criminal charges? Who knows, could be, due to the underage drinking.

Sean Hannity: Halloween Teaches Our Kids to be Liberals

It's kind of an Ann Coulter type moment, in that you think that he's saying it just to inflame. At least, I hope so, I hope he's not so whacked that he would actually mean this. On the Oct. 31st Hannity & Colmes show, Sean Hannity said the following (I'm surprised I didn't notice it earlier):

HANNITY: No, could I tell you something? Halloween...

COLMES: Yes.

HANNITY: ... is teaching our kids to be liberals. We're teaching kids to knock on other people's doors and ask for a handout. That's...

COLMES: Is Christmas a liberal holiday then?

HANNITY: No, you give on Christmas. I give gifts.

Oh, brother. Watch the video.

Giuliani: "Intensive Questioning" Works

This weekend on Bloomberg TV's Political Capital with Al Hunt program, Rudy Giuliani, who has said in the past that waterboarding may not be torture, that ...

"It depends on the circumstances," he said. "It depends on who does it."

... responded to criticism by John McCain, who has experienced torture firsthand and said Giuliani was wrong ... when asked if he knew more about torture as John McCain, Giuliani said,

I can't say I do, but I do know a lot about intensive questioning and intensive questioning techniques. After all, I've had a different experience than John. John has never run a city, never run a state, never run a government. He's never been responsible as a mayor for the safety and security of millions of people. And he's never run a law enforcement agency, which I've done.

Now, intensive questioning works. If I didn’t use intensive questioning, there would be a lot of mafia guys running around New York right now and crime would be a lot higher in New York than it is. Intensive question has to be used. Torture should not be used. The line between the two is a difficult one. And it very unfair of the members of the Senate and the politicians to try to ask Mukasey to draw that line as an Attorney General designate when they refuse to draw that line as members of the Senate and members of the House. If it's illegal, darn it, well then vote for it.

So, he's basically saying he used "intensive questioning" techniques on the Mafia and other "bad guys." Yet there's a fine line between torture and intensive questioning, so to some extent he's saying he's quite possibly tortured.

Vote for it? Unless it's in the form of a law, not some non-binding resolution, what difference will that make? And in the form of a law, with partisan politics the way it is, there's no way an override will occur.

And he says that it's unfair to ask Mukasey to define torture. Once again, why is it so hard to define torture? Waterboarding may not be torture, depending on how it's used?! Perhaps all our politicians need to test-drive waterboarding, as Daniel Levin did; then we would reach agreement on what torture is ... to me, it's pure common sense.

Watch the video:

Bill Maher wants to "Crush Republicans and Snort Them"

On the November 2nd episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, Bill addressed the reason that he feels Barack Obama's campaign has "come down to earth," as he put it. Bridging the partisan divide, as Obama is trying to do, is not working for many, and certainly not for Maher.

I think he just had the wrong message, which is, “You know, I want to work with everybody; I want to bring people together.” I don’t want to bring people together. I want to win! [applause] I don’t want to work with these people. They can’t be worked with. I want to crush them! I want to smash them into a fine powder and snort them with the Ecstasy that comes in my mailbox! That’s what I want to do.

Prior to this was much discussion on how to get more Democratic voters out to vote --- including using ballot initiatives to do so --- even to the point of putting the draft on the ballot to try to get voters out. You can bet voters would come out for that initiative.

Watch the clip. The "crush" comment is at the end of the clip.

Sex Sting at Sears Nets Former Florida Politician, Eight Others

What's Sear's current motto? It's "Sears: Where It Begins," and in 2001 - 2003 it was "Sears: Where Else?" They kind of relate to this story ... where "the scandal begins" and "where else" would you find something like this?

OK, OK, not really. But shades of Larry Craig restroom stings.

Police in Daytona Beach, Florida received a tip from Sears that sexual misconduct was taking place in its second-floor men's restroom. Officers ran a sting from 10 AM to 8 PM Thursday, and nabbed the offenders.

Those arrested used the same sorts of signals Larry Craig was reported to use, including tapping their feet --- but they also used coughing, sneezing and loud zipper noises.

Among those arrested were former city commissioner (two terms) and mayoral candidate Mike Shallow (pictured) and David Behringer, an athletic trainer and teacher at Seabreeze High School. Behringer resigned on Friday, according to officials with the Volusia County School District.

Others arrested included a registered sex offender, Douglas Benson, 48, of Port Orange, and Edgar Millard, 73, Daytona Beach, who had been charged in 2006 with sexual misconduct at a beachside bathroom.

Happy Haggard-versary, Ted

Has it been that long? Scandals such as the Larry Craig restroom arrest have all but erased last year's Ted Haggard "affair" from our memory.

A little over a year ago, on November 1st, Mike Jones, a male escort, appeared on a Denver radio talk show and blew the cover (no pun intended) off the Ted Haggard story. According to Jones, Haggard had paid for sex with him on an almost monthly basis over the previous three years.

At the time, Haggard was pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado (he was also its founder) as well as leader of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Of course, Haggard initially denied the allegations. Haggard admitted on November 3, 2006 that he had purchased methamphetamine and received a massage from Jones, but he denied using the drugs or having sex with Jones. "I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away. I bought it for myself but never used it", Haggard claimed in a television interview, and added, "I was tempted, but I never used it".

Right. That same day, Haggard resigned his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals. On November 4th, the "Overseer Board of New Life Church" removed him from his job.

Of course, we were not done with Haggard, as in In February of this year, he announced that a three-week "restoration" program had cured him. Indeed, he had "discovered" that he was "completely heterosexual."

This was echoed by one of his counselors, the Rev. Tim Ralph, who said, "He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Right. I think Haggard and Larry Craig need to talk. At any rate, Happy Haggard-versary.

Bill Maher: New Rule for Obama: Don't Get Caught Checking Out Clinton's *ss

An important tip for Barack Obama from Bill Maher on November 2nd's Real Time with Bill Maher.

When you're supposed to be taking off the gloves and really letting your opponent have it, don't get caught checking out her ass.

Maybe she was wearing an American flag pin on her butt. See the picture above.

Bill also skewered the Jeno's pizza recall, and based on my experience with their cardboard-like pizza, I agree with him.

You don’t have to recall things that would make people sick anyway. General Mills has recalled five million Jeno’s frozen pizzas because they might be contaminated with E. coli. Couldn’t they just as easily say they’re recalling five million strains of E. coli because they might be contaminated with Jeno’s pizza? I mean, what’s the difference? One gives you stomach cramps and diarrhea, and the other is E. coli!

Finally, Bill addressed the uber-rich in America, and how people like Warren Buffett, third richest man in the world, can pay lower taxes than his secretary who makes 60K a year (at least Buffett has the decency to actually say it's wrong!).

If you’re living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you’re not being kept down by the rich. You’re being kept down by you.

In America, it’s not the haves and have-nots. It’s the haves and the been-hads. If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won’t give you health care over someone you will, you need to have your head examined. Except you can’t afford to have your head examined.

Please remember that if you hear the new radio ad from Rudy Giuliani, who says his chances of surviving prostate cancer in America were 82%, whereas, in England, under “socialized medicine,” his chances would have been 44%. Numbers that, like the cancer, were pulled directly out of Rudy’s ass.

Now, I know socialized medicine sounds like Stalin himself is going to come over to your house and perform a forced sterilization. But, really all it is, is universal health care. Which means everybody – not just the rich – gets to see a doctor when their erection lasts longer than 72 hours.

Way to go, Bill. The problem is, as we know from Michael Moore's film Sicko, every time someone uses the term "socialized" medicine we immediately think of communism.

But here's a stat that should make anyone wake up. Canada had a higher infant mortality rate than the U.S. before instituing universal health care. Now their rate is lower. Isn't infant mortality, our children, something all of us should want to reduce?

Oh, wait, I forgot, this is the country that can't even pass SCHIP.

Watch the video:

GOP Trades on Anti-Gay, Anti-Muslim Message in Last Minute Election Mailer

In the Virginia State Senate race of Jill Holtzman Vogel, the GOP is once again trading on fear. This time its the fear of Muslims and gays. The GOP sent a mailer at the last minute (arriving less than one week before the Nov. 6th election day) on behalf of Holtman Vogel, with clear anti-Muslim and anti-gay messaging. Holtzman Vogel has already received endorsements from many local papers, including the Washington Post.

The mailer attacks Karen Schultz, the Democratic candidate, by focusing on her image consultant, NextGen Persuasion. The text in question, from the mailer, obtained by PageOneQ, says that the firm uses the following selling points:

We recently guided a 31-year-old Muslim man to victory over an entrenched incumbent --- on the day after the fifth anniversary of September 11th.

and

We steered an openly lesbian 33-year-old to first place in a field of seven. By poring over every photographic detail and every word of copy, we deliver clean, powerful communications that persuade your targeted voters.

Holtzman Vogel is running on a "pro-family" platform (obviously). Of course, if I'm voting for a candidate, I'm less concerned about her PR firm and more about her actual stance on issues.

Here's the mailer. Click to enlarge.

Wedgie-Proof Underwear Invented by Twins, 8

Jared and Justin Serovich, 8-year-old twins from Ohio, earned themselves a spot on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Friday with their invention. The twins were playing around and giving themselves the old-time bully favorite, the wedgie, when they were caught by their mother Julie. After a "brief" chastisement, Julie's partner Judy Kimberly sarcastically suggested that someone should invent wedgie-proof underwear.

They Developed the "Rip Away 1000" for the central Ohio competition of the 2007 Invention Convention. By replacing the bottom and side seams with Velcro, the twins created underwear that ... well, rip away under wedgie conditions.

"When the person tries to grab you -- like the bully or the person tries to give you a wedgie -- they just rip away," said Justin.

The twins managed to reach the finals of the Ohio competition, but I'll bet the TV appearance was even more rewarding.

Giuliani: Cheney a Good Model for a VP

Friday on ETV, a South Carolina public television station, Rudy Giuliani discussed how he would choose a vice-president. He said he wanted someone he could work with as a partner, and that having breakfast with Reagan on the day he was shot, being close to an assassination so to speak, made him reflect on a proper VP selection.

"How do you pick a vice president? I think Vice President Cheney and President Bush's pick of Vice President Cheney is a good example of picking someone who is qualified to be president of the United States. That is number one-it's paramount."

OK, so if Cheney is Darth Vader, then Giuliani's VP would be --- perhaps, Emperor Palpatine?

White House Deletes Criticism from Iraq Report Before Using It

This should surprise no one, considering the White House has edited other reports, such as this environmental report, in the past. Last night I watched ABC World News with Charles Gibson, with ABC National Security Correspondent Jonathan Karl filing a report. While the report was mostly positive, the way the White House edited the report before sending it made it appear to be an unqualified declaration of success.

As I said, much of the report was positive, but only that part was sent out in an official White House publication called “White House Iraq Update.” The missing part:

O’HANLON: … and it doesn’t answer the questions about political progress.

KARL: In fact, there’s been almost no political progress on the national level, and U.S. officials know military gains won’t mean much if the Iraqi government doesn’t get its act together, which is one reason the Pentagon doesn’t even want to use the word “winning.”

[To Defense Secretary] You’re not ready to say we’re winning, that the surge is working –

ROBERT GATES [Defense Secretary]: I think — I think that those end up being loaded words. I think we have been very successful. We need to continue being successful.

When questioned, the White House admitted to the edits, and apologized, saying they were "inappropriate." I keep thinking of Faux News and "fair and balanced" when I hear stuff like this. Flag waving, anyone?

Pilot, Co-Pilot Snooze on Way Into Denver; NASA Asleep at the Switch?

No wonder NASA doesn't want us to read the results of their report. Earlier NASA said it would not release the results of an airline safety report, saying it might damage public confidence in airlines and hurt their profits. And we all know that profits is what business runs on, and that corporatism is what our government runs on.

At any rate, during a congressional hearing on airline safety in Washington this week, one of the more aggregious, and until now, relatively hidden incidents, occurred on March 4, 2004, when a pilot and co-pilot both fell asleep during an approach to Denver International Airport.

What's most interesting is that the incident itself was reported on a government website where pilots post such reports. From the report (and paraphrased to eliminate some abbreviations and all-CAPS):

Had a schedule change to 'Red Eyes,' which consists of leaving Den at xa50, fly to BWI and 1 hr turn-back to Den. No rest, just straight 7 hrs 55 mins flight to Baltimore and back. On this particular day (mar/thu/04) after 2 previous red eyes, this being third red eye in a row, last 45 mins of flight I fell asleep and so did the F.O. (first officer).

After missing a bunch of normal procedures,

I woke up, why I don't know, and heard frantic calls from ATC (air traffic controller) approx 5 nautical miles inside of DANDD (intersection in the sky). I answered ATC and abided by all instructions to get down. Was not told to call ATC, but did file report with company. Attribute incident to pilot fatigue, and hopefully company is in process of changing these trip pairings.

I will admit NASA has a point, that reading such incidents will likely alarm travelers. But is that an unnecessary fear, or a fear based on info we should be aware of?

As a result of the hearings, NASA administration Michael Griffin said the portions of report may be released before the end of the year, after making identifying information is deleted to prevent lawsuits (date, flight number?).

Woman Advertises Leftover Breast Milk for Sale

Martha Heller, of Tiffin, Iowa, has a freezer full of pumped breast milk, and a baby who won't feed from a bottle. What to do with it?

She already donates to the University of Iowa-based Mother's Milk Bank of Iowa, but she's got 100 ounces that was pumped at the beginning of August, before going through the necessary screening, and that cannot be donated.

So, she's placed an ad in the newspaper. She did research beforehand, and there don't seem to be any laws governing or restricting the sale of breast milk.

Linda Klein, a lactation consultant at Mercy Medical Center in Cedar Rapids said that in general, breast milk can be used up to six months if properly stored in a deep freeze-type freezer. Still, she's worried about safety. Donated milk is pasteurized. In this case, the milk wouldn't have gone through that process.

At any rate, it doesn't seem like there are any takers for the milk. "There was one prank caller," Heller said.

The Dream Ends as Colbert Denied by S.C. Democratic Party

It's over. Today the South Carolina Democratic Party voted to keep Stephen Colbert off the Democratic Party primary ballot. The reason was simple: part of the requirements to be on the ballot in the first place is a nationally viable candidacy. If he's only campaigning in South Carolina, he's obviously not a viable candidate.

Colbert had already stated he would not run on the GOP primary ballot as the $35,000 fee would be too expensive.

While some have said that Colbert on the ballot would make a mockery of the process, it also should be that for each candidate on the Democratic ballot, the state party must pay $20,000 to the state election commission.

On the other hand, perhaps they are afraid of him. After all, the response to his "1,000,000 Strong" Facebook group far surpassed Obama's.

Watch the clip where Stephen gets the bad news:

Attendees Flush with Excitement as World Toilet Summit Begins

No, I'm not kidding. The World Toilet Summit, sponsored by the World Toilet Organization and the Indian toilet advocacy charity Sulabh International, opened on Wednesday in New Delhi. It may sound funny, but it's a serious business. As the site says,

... over 2.6 billion people in the world today are without any form of "improved sanitation". The real situation is even worse: the statistics include toilets that are so bad, or shared by so many people that it cannot be regarded as "improved sanitation".

This is a four-day summit, and the seventh of its kind. It should be noted that 2008 has been named as the International Year of Sanitation by the United Nations.

Colbert to File as Democrat in South Carolina; "GOP Too Expensive"

Stephen Colbert, who earlier announced his Presidential campaign, has decided to run as a Democrat. Originally he announced he would run as both a Republican and a Democrat, and that the best part of that was "double the paperwork."

As you can see from this video from his show, he discovered just how expensive applying for the GOP was. For the GOP, it's $25,000 plus a $10,000 late fee. Meanwhile, for the Democrats, he only needs $2,500 or 3,000 signatures. 3,000 signatures of registered Democrats instead! Colbert was really jazzed by that, and told viewers in South Carolina, "if you don't have a Bible, a gun or a hollowed-out Bible with a gun in it, you are free to sign."

The downloadable copy of the 2008 South Carolina Presidential Primary Petition is available at Colbert's campaign site, along with instructions.

Pheasant-Stomping Assistant Coach Says "No Harm Intended"

Viewmont High School assistant coach Richard Dean Layton, 47, who received a citation on an animal-cruelty charge Tuesday, says he never intended to harm the pheasant, which was released onto the football field as a prank during a football game last week.

"It was not my intention to seriously harm or jeopardize the life of the bird. Anyone who knows me knows I am a compassionate person with a respect for animals," Layton said.

If you watch the video (below), it doesn't look like he was trying to stomp the bird to death. In fact, the bird was still alive after the incident, but was later euthanized. While in fact it doesn't look like he's trying to kill the bird, it does look like he's trying the old "step on it to hold it down" trick, and thus made himself into the "bad guy." The entire stadium booed when he did so.

Watch the video and decide for yourself.

KCKC-FM, Kansas City: All Holiday Music, Starting Now. Yes, Now.

The winter holidays seem to start earlier every year. It's not quite as bad as the upcoming Presidential primaries seem to be, but it's pretty close. A Kansas City radio station, KCKC-FM (102.1, Kansas City's Lite Rock) has announced it is playing continuous holiday music from now --- yes, now --- until Christmas.

What, nothing between Christmas and New Year's?

Apparently the early switch between is because the rival station KUDL-FM and KCKC have been duking it out over who would be first with Christmas music every year. In 2006, KUDL began in early November, with KCKC following suit the week of Thanksgiving. This year, KCKC obviously won the battle.

Interestingly, competitor KUDL also owns the website http://christmasmusicstation.net/.