GPS-enabled cell phone snags time-card "cheater"

And now we know why groups like the New York city cabbies don't want GPS - OK, that's an oversimplification. But here's an instance where a GPS-enabled phone caught a New York school system employee clocking out early - and according to records, it looks like he bailed early 83 times.

John Halpin didn't know, when he accepted the cellular phone in 2005, that it had GPS capability. Thus, he also didn't know that his whereabouts could be verified.

His shift ends at 3:30 PM. On March 8, Halpin was last in Manhattan at 1:31 PM and was home at 2:40 PM On March 29, Halpin was home at 2:38 PM.

Some have argued that he should have been informed of the phone's GPS capability. But the judge in the case, who recommended his firing, said "The Department of Education is not expected to notify its employees of all the methods it may possibly use to uncover their misconduct. The undisputed intent of issuing the cellphone with GPS was for the department to be able to determine the whereabouts of its supervisors in the field."

I haven't heard of this type of case before, but it does highlight why employees, not just in New York City, but in other locations, including the Bay Area, where I live, are not happy with GPS. On the other hand, there was an incident in the last couple of years in the Bay Area - unfortunately I cannot find it - where a worker was injured and they found him because of his GPS.

Pastor had sex with daughters to teach them to be "good wives"

A fundamentalist pastor in Australia decided (he says) to teach his daughters to be good wives - not by teaching them to cook or clean mind you, but how to have sex - in other words, how to "behave" for their husbands when they married, as dictated by the scriptures.

He was sentenced to eight and a half years jail after pleading guilty to seven counts each of incest and unlawful sexual intercourse. The incest started in 1991 when the daughters were 13 and 15 respectively.

Judge David Lovell didn't believe the man's excuses. "You said the acts were about learning about sex rather than engaging in the acts of sex. I do not accept that. You treated your daughters as your property ... using them to satisfy and gratify your sexual urges."

The man will be eligible for parole in four years, too soon if you ask me.

Barnes & Noble to carry "If I Did It" after all

Earlier, Barnes & Noble said it would not be carrying the O.J. Simpson book, "If I Did It," and I thought it was a great stand to take. It looks like profits have won out over conviction, as they have reversed their decision and will indeed be carrying the book.

Barnes & Noble spokeswoman Mary Ellen Keating said: "We've been monitoring the pre-orders and customer requests and have concluded that enough customers have expressed interest in buying the book to warrant stocking it in our stores. We do not intend to promote the book but we will stock it in our stores because our customers are asking for it."

Earlier Borders had said they would carry the book - but not promote it - so it seems they are mirroring this practice.

It's easy to see why they are doing this. Just take a look at the book on Amazon.com - it's currently at #98 at the time of this writing. At the same time Barnes & Noble says the book has been in their top 100 for days.

Honors Students Graded on Ad Revenue

Well, this is a new one on me. When I was a high school honors student, it was all about my grades. Let me take that back, slightly. In terms of certain national honors, like The National Honor Society, certain charitable and community activities I did were taken into account as well. But certainly not how much money I made for the school.

A local TV station has reported that in the Collier County School District in Florida, honors journalism students are not only getting graded on how they write - but also on their ad revenue. Half their grade is determined on how many ads they sell for the yearbook.

Collier County School Board Member Linda Abbot was surprised when she was informed Naples High School are graded based in part on sales. A school volunteer emailed her concerns to the school board.

Here's the breakdown, from the syllabus (amounts in revenue): $600 = A, $500 = B, $400 = C, $300 = D , and you can guess what less than $300 gets.

"I don't think it's such a big deal," said student Courtney Dahl. She says selling ads teaches students to communicate. "It shouldn't be a problem. There's so many people that would buy a page or something, doesn't bother me," said Dahl.

Maybe so, but there are plenty (like me) who would make terrible salespeople. I don't (and apparently many Naples High School parents agree) believe that this is fair to such students.

Chewed-up Vick Cards Sell for $7,400 on eBay

It's interesting. Barry Bonds' 755th and 756th home run balls are having trouble attracting bidders in their auctions. Yet a set of chewed-up football cards sold for $7,400 on eBay. The reasons: they were Michael Vick cards; they were chewed up by dogs; and the proceeds will go to the Humane Society.

Rochelle Steffen, of Cape Girardeau, Mo., thought she might get $100 for a local animal shelter, after giving every card she owned to Monte, her 6-year-old Weimaraner, and Roxie, her Great Dane puppy.

"When I started this I only expected to get $100 for a local shelter," Steffen said. "But it's received so much attention."

It was a great idea. In general, I doubt Vick items will garner much attention or money any longer. There's been a large drop in the value of such items, evidenced by sales and auctions. But the sheer novelty of this struck a chord, and it was a great idea.

"No Liquids on Flights Rule" Enforced on Holy Water

When they say no liquids on flights, they mean no liquids on flights. Even if the liquid is holy water. What's even more hilarious is that it was one of the Vatican's new charter flights for pilgrims.

Security officials barred pilgrims from taking water collected at Our Lady of Lourdes Cathedral on a return flight to Rome. Naturally, the pilgrims, who included Italian television personality Paola Saluzzi, were upset after waiting in long lines to fill up their bottles.

''All passengers are obliged to respect the rules and not go over the quantities (of liquid) permitted'' on flights, said Franck Hourcade, an official at the Tarbes-Lourdes-Pyrenees International Airport. For international flights, this is 3 ounces of liquid.

Mistral Air is providing this service for the Vatican, and Francesco Pizzo, Mistral Air's president, said ''There are international rules that state that liquids cannot be carried on board. These have to be respected.''

My question is: why not just put the holy water into checked luggage? Unless (and this could be the reason) the pilgrims didn't want to let the water out of their sight, because of the value?

43-Year-Old Woman to Serve 31st Prison Sentence

She's only 43, yet she's served 30 prison terms and is in the process of serving her 31st? This leads me to the following questions:

• There's no "Three strikes law" in Northern Ireland? Too bad, it would have saved them all some time.
  
  
• Assuming she started committing crimes at birth (which, of course, is unrealistic), that means for every 1.39 years of her life she's spent 1 year in prison. Does she get out and commit a crime the same day (figuring in the time for the trial)?
  

Strangely enough, she's only the fourth most prolific prisoner in Northern Ireland: the other three are male though, and between 28 and 35 - meaning their lifetime average is much better - or worse, depending how you look at it - than hers.

Chinese Children's Watering Cans Recalled Over Lead Paint

Here we go again, another Chinese product recalled. It's become so bad I troll the CPSC website looking for them. The U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission announced today a voluntary recall by Jo-Ann stores of
the Robbie Ducky™ Kids Watering Cans (pictured). These products are exclusive to Jo-Ann stores, and the beaks in them apparently have lead paint.

The CPSC says the recall involves 6,000 cans; you can find the full text of the recall at the CPSC website.

Larry Craig's Incident Report Uncovered

I'm sure you've heard by now about Senator Larry Craig's June 11th arrest for disorderly conduct, which was revealed yesterday. We have obtained a copy of the police report. Aside from the normal "fill-in-the-blanks" part of the report, we've looked at the section that summarizes the actual incident.

According to the report from Sgt. Dave Karsnia,

At 1216 hours Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area.

There's more, but a few minutes later,

At about 1219 hours I held my Police Identification in my right hand down by the floor so that Craig could see it. With my left hand, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, "No!" I again pointed towards the exit.

At this point things deteriorated rapidly for Craig.

You can read the two pages of the detailed summary here and here.

100-year-old celebrates with her 170,000 cigarette

Winnie Langley started smoking only days after WWI began in June 1914 - when she was just 7-years-old - and she has smoked five a day ever since. Do the math - 93 years (approx.), 5 a day, 365 days a year (not including leap years) and you get nearly 170,000 cigarettes.

She lit up a cigarette from the candle on her 100th birthday cake. Speaking at the birthday party Winnie said: "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting. There were not all the the health warnings like there are today when I started. It was the done thing."

She said that she hasn't suffered as a result of the habit, because she "has never inhaled." Much like Bill Clinton and pot, eh?

Michael Vick Pleads Guilty; Sentencing on Dec. 10

Today Michael Vick entered a guilty plea in his dogfighting case. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this, since obviously this will be all over the mainstream media sources. However, U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson said he would not sentence Vick until December 10.

Why so long? The good thing is the guy is suspended indefinitely by the NFL, so at least he's not raking in huge sums of cash while polluting our NFL games, but still ... it's a long time to wait to see what his punishment will be.

As Clotheslines Resurface, Legislation Enacted to Overcome Bans

Our house has a clothesline that stretches from our wood fence to our deck. It's retractable, and there's a hoop we attach a loop on the line onto when we want to use it. I've always thought the original owner had a great idea when he put it in - it was a nice, homey touch.

Clotheslines are making a comeback around the country, as people look for a way to make little changes to help the environment. Unfortunately, many homeowner's associations look askance on them, and have bans against them.

States are starting to introduce legislation to overrule these bans. In fact, the activist group Project Laundry List is running a campaign called "The Right to Dry," encouraging legislators and their constituents to work against these bans. Vermont is the latest state to introduce a bill that would override clothesline bans.

Of course, homeowner's associations say that the environment has to be balanced against the desires of those who find their neighbors' laundry to be unseemly, unsightly or both. This is why I will never buy a condo or a house in such a community. It's my house, and as long as I'm not making it an eyesore, if I want to put up an satellite dish or some such, I want to be able to.

Car Burns After Cigarette Lighter Explodes

Another reason cigarette smoking is hazardous to your health - leaving a lighter on your dash in hot weather can result in a fire.

Shane Reas, of Fort Worth, Texas, said his lighter had been sitting in his car all day, and it it exploded in his hand when he picked it up.

That's the actual car pictured above.

Lt. Kent Worley of the Fort Worth Fire Department said this type of accident isn't unheard of. "It's plastic -- very light aluminum at the top and very easy for this to malfunction, as apparently it did in this case," he said.

Reas said he has learned his lesson. "You keep one in your car, but you never really think to put it in the glove box or put it in your pocket. It just sits in the direct sun and heats up to the point where it can combust."

I've seen something similar to this before. At a flea market, a vendor was selling those butane fireplace / BBQ lighters. It was a hot day, and they were in direct sunlight. One of them exploded, though it didn't start a fire.

Lap Dancers Help Police Catch Counterfeiter

This'll teach you - never tick off a lap dancer. Lap dancers at the Deja Vu club in Nashville were suspicious of the bills given out by Damon Armagost - and called police. He had used his home computer to make the bills, after downloading the image from the Internet.

U.S. Secret Service agents later determined that counterfeit bills with the same serial number had been passed in other parts of the country - but I doubt Armagost was the person to do that. He's simply not bright enough for a large-scale operation.

In a press release, prosecutors said, "Secret Service agents went to Armagost's home in Smyrna to interview him, and a family member informed the agents that they had recently observed the image of a $100 bill on their computer."

As I said, not too bright. I mean, he used a home printer, I'm sure he didn't use special paper to try to reproduce the feel of the bills. And I'm sure he didn't try to adjust the serial numbers - or if he did it most likely wouldn't have matched the rest of the bill too well.

What was he thinking? Oh yeah, he wasn't, and that's why this story is on this site.

Camper Wakes to Slug Chewing on His Head

I kid you not. It wasn't quite as bad as the B or even C movie "Slugs," but it's pretty disgusting nonetheless. John Wilson was on a fishing trip to Papercourt Lake near Esher, Surrey, Great Britain. He thought he had been stung and screamed when he realized it was something rather slimy on his forehead.

His head was bloody as despite what you may think, a slug does have teeth - about 27,000 tiny ones.

Jackie Smithson, who lectures for The Plant Society, said: “It maybe travelled here on some fruit and managed to make its way to the lake.”

My guess is a dose of flesh-eating slug repellent, as in Harry Potter, would do the trick.

Denied adoption, man has gastric bypass surgery

A man who says he was denied adoption because of his obesity has undergone gastric bypass surgery in an attempt to gain custody of the child.

Gary Stocklaufer, 34, and his wife claim a judge unfairly discriminated against them because of his weight. At the time of the decision, Stocklaufer, pictured, weighed 558 pounds. The baby, Max, who is related to the Stocklaufers, had lived with them since he was a week old.

Officials would not comment on the reason Max was taken from the Stocklaufers, but it should be noted that this practice, of taking the adoptive parents' health into account during the process, has become increasingly prevalant. And, last December China announced it was tightening its own rules on foreign adoption, based on age, weight, and other health and psychological factors. So none of this should be surprising.

What is interesting is the Stocklaufers have another adopted child, another relative, which they adopted in 2000, and in that case, the same judge approved their adoption. So is there something else at work here?

Ebert: No Contract, No Thumbs

Roger Ebert is a copyright holder for the signature "thumbs up-thumbs down" that's used to judge movies on the show "At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper." And, because he is negotiating a new contract with the syndicated TV show's distributor, Disney-ABC Domestic Television - and that contract has not yet been signed - he's banned the use of "thumbs up-thumbs down" on the show.

Ebert hasn't appeared on the show for over a year, because of a series of surgeries for cancer and related issues. Despite this, the "two thumbs up" grade is almost a gold star for a movie, and the lack of its use would obviously be a major bargaining point in the negotiations.

"We remain hopeful that Roger will return to the show," a Disney company statement said. "We have kept his `seat in the balcony' open for the past 14 months and will continue to do so, utilizing guest critics who have appeared with Richard Roeper."

Update: in a post on his website on Saturday, Roger Ebert said:

Contrary to Disney’s press release, I did not demand the removal of the Thumbs™. They made a first offer on Friday which I considered offensively low. I responded with a counter-offer. They did not reply to this, and on Monday ordered the Thumbs™ removed from the show. This is not something I expected after an association of over 22 years. I had made it clear the Thumbs™ could remain during good-faith negotiations.

Michael Vick suspended indefinitely by the NFL

When Michael Vick agreed to a plea bargain earlier this week, I said that I hoped he would get a lifetime ban from the NFL, but that I thought it was unlikely. What he got wasn't a lifetime ban, but it's pretty darn close. Today NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended the Atlanta Falcons quarterback indefinitely without pay. I'll let Goodell do all the talking.

"You have engaged in conduct detrimental to the welfare of the NFL and have violated the league's personal conduct policy," Goodell told Vick in a letter.

"You are now justifiably facing consequences for the decisions you made and the conduct in which you engaged. Your career, freedom and public standing are now in the most serious jeopardy," Goodell wrote. "I hope that you will be able to learn from this difficult experience and emerge from it better prepared to act responsibly and to make the kinds of choices that are expected of a conscientious and law abiding citizen."

Goodell also freed the Falcons to "assert any claims or remedies" to recover $22 million of Vick's signing bonus from the 10-year, $130 million contract he signed in 2004.

Thief nabbed by engraved iPod

Next time you steal something, take the time to look at it - that's the lesson this thief should learn. All right, all right, he should also learn not to steal in the first place.

Titusville, Florida Police said they stopped Wilford McCloud, 25, at 5 a.m. Monday after seeing him riding a bicycle without proper safety lights. During the conversation, McCloud pulled out an iPod engraved with its owner’s name and the phrase, “Please don’t steal me.”

McCloud told them he bought the iPod for $20, so they released him - but kept the iPod. A day later the iPod was reported stolen by the owner. Needless to say, police tracked down McCloud and arrested him.

Want your kids to get AK-47 Training? Go to Camp Okutta

Camp Okutta is an adventure camp in Canada where your kids can learn the finer points of grenade throwing, shooting an AK-47, crossing a mine field, and more. Check out their promotional video below.

Now for the truth: it's not real. It's War Child Canada's provocative new ad campaign on child soldiers, meant to highlight the fact that in some countries, there are actual camps like this.

"The goal is to provoke a reaction," said Samantha Nutt, War Child Canada's founder and executive director. "Why is it that we're so profoundly shocked and upset to see this in the Canadian context and yet when it happens in other parts of the world, we take it for granted as part of normal life?"

However, some Canadians became enraged when seeing the posters that were also plastered up and ripped them down. War Child Canada's director of marketing, James Topham, said he thought the website made it obvious that the camp was a fake. My question is: if you only saw the poster and not the site, how would you know this?

On the other hand, the rage this brought on in Canadians shows it made it got its point across - and isn't that the idea behind advertising?

Gun swap missile launcher actually just a case

I think the person who turned it in needs to return the sneakers he got in exchange for it. You may recall my earlier post, in which Orlando police thought they had received a shoulder-fired missile launcher.

Turns out what they actually received was a casing for a TOW anti-tank missile system. It's fiberglass, and in addition to an alert reader (thanks!), an investigator for Raytheon came to the same conclusion.

John McGrath, an investigator for Raytheon Corp., used a serial number to identify the 4-foot-long tube as a 32-year-old fiberglass carrying case for a TOW missile and its launcher. What gets me is what McGrath said: "They're pretty available on the Internet," he said. "We run into a lot of this, actually."

What, you run into a lot of people turning them in for sneakers?

Cyclist shoots himself in groin, gets arrested as well

Well, this guy is perhaps the ultimate loser. He not only shot himself in the groin with his own weapon, he was charged with unlawful use of a weapon for doing so.

Patrick Jefferson, 19, of Chicago, was riding his bike with the gun tucked into his waistband. Jefferson was shot while riding just after midnight Tuesday, prosecutors said. Bail was set at $60,000.

Lohan gets 1 day in jail for DUI

"She's getting what everyone else would get," Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers said. She is? One day? In addition, she has to complete 10 days of community service and a drug treatment program. Whoopee.

Earlier today she was charged in the day with seven misdemeanors - based on two drunken-driving arrests in the last four months. Prosecutors said they didn't file felony drug charges because they only found .04 grams of cocaine in her purse. Luckily (?) for her the amount of cocaine necessary for felony charges is .05 grams.

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs," Lohan said in a statement released by publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik.

I'm still not convinced that this isn't special treatment. I still think Jane Q. Public would get a more severe sentence. How about a fine at least, considering her bank balance is so huge? Teach her a real lesson. I mean, let's not forget the money quote from her during that last drunken driving incident:

"I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want."

Ari Fleischer can't name wounded vet used in his own pro-Iraq war ad

Ari Fleischer, despite no longer being Bush's press secretary, is still working for him. Yesterday he was on MSNBC's Hardball, promoting his new organization, Freedom's Watch, which has started a multi-million dollar pro-Iraq war ad campaign.

During the interview, which you can watch here, about 1:27 into it, they show one of the ads. In it, there's a wounded vet, one who has lost his both his legs. Despite using the vet's impassioned message, he doesn't know his name. From the transcript (note that Mike Barnicle was guest host yesterday):

BARNICLE: What is that soldier‘s name, Ari?

FLEISCHER: Mike, I don‘t have his name in front of me. There are four people, soldiers and their parents who have lost children in battle, as well, who...

Later on the show, Fleischer says:

FLEISCHER: No, Mike. You‘re missing the point about this military is all of our military, both the people who oppose the war and the people who are for winning this war. And every time a life is lost, we all lose. We all have made a sacrifice, some more than others. And what you‘re hearing in these ads are the messages of the people who‘ve lost their children but still want to win this war, and that‘s why this is so important.

Yes, some more than others, but apparently he can't remember his name.

Later, in rebuttal, Hardball had on Paul Rieckhoff, executive director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America. He said:

BARNICLE: Paul, I don‘t know whether you have a monitor in the studio where you are, but did you get a chance to see the ad that we just showed when Ari Fleischer was on?

RIECKHOFF: Yes. And it really bothered me. What bothered me the most is that Ari Fleischer didn‘t even know the guy‘s name. He‘s willing to run a multi-million-dollar campaign utilizing the personal story of a soldier, and he couldn‘t tell you on national TV what that soldier‘s name is. It‘s a problematic trend. People on both sides of the aisle, but especially the president and this administration, have continued to use troops as a political prop, as a backdrop for political rhetoric. It‘s why the president gave such an impassioned speech today in front of the VFW. It‘s why this ad carries so much weight at a visceral level. And it really bothers me because our troops are not political props and they‘re not chew toys.

By the way, the vet's name is Sgt. John Kriesel.

Doodle of Gun Gets Teen Suspended

Many have said that things like warrantless wiretapping, using spy satellites on Americans, and suspension of habeas corpus are overkill. What about this? And yes, that is the actual doodle that I have posted. Looks really threatening, right?

The student, a 13-year old at Payne Junior High School in Maricopa County, Arizona, was suspended for five days - though the punishment was eventually reduced to three days.

"The school made him feel like he committed a crime. They are doing more damage than good," said the boy's mother, Paula Mosteller.

When Ben Mosteller, the boy's father, went to talk to school officials, they brought up Columbine - which (and I don't blame him) offended Mosteller.

The Payne Student Handbook states that "possession or threatening use of any weapon, real or simulated, is strictly prohibited" and warns that punishment can include "conference, expulsion or mandatory police report."

I'm guessing the punishment was applied because of the "simulation" clause, but honestly - I think that clause was meant to refer to toy guns, which are 3D, as opposed to a 2D image. I strongly suspect most people won't be afraid of a sketch on a piece of paper - though I do admit it was was a disturbing image of murder, killing, or mayhem, I could see at least counseling being required.

Redheads Going Extinct, Say Scientists

Less than 2% of the world's population has natural red hair, which was created by a mutation in northern Europe thousands of years ago.

Because of this, it's possible, say some experts, that redheads could be gone as early as 2060. On the other hand, if they want to save themselves, they should all move to Scotland. 40% of Scottish people are carriers of the gene while 13% of them have red hair.

Wow, I'd really hate to think there would be no more redheads. My favorite redhead is to the left. Yes, it's the HughesNet actress, Margaret Easley, and for some reason, my wife understands when I pause to look at those commercials.

Teen tries to cool overheating Xbox 360; nearly kills himself

It's no secret that there have been plenty of overheating issues with Xbox 360s. These issues been prevalent since almost the beginning. The results of these problems include crashes as well as the "red ring of death." Some mods were even creating to resolve this problem, including water cooling.

A teenager from Brevard, North Carolina had overheating problems on Sunday, and because of it his system was resetting every 5 minutes. He decided to take water cooling into his own hands. I guess he'd heard about water cooling, but didn't realize it didn't mean just using a pan of water.

He'd read that one of the ways to correct overheating was to cool the power supply. So he dropped the power supply - still plugged in - into a pan of water. This resulted in a near-electrocution. He was taken to the Transylvania Community Hospital in Brevard (I kid you not - see the pic!) where he spent the night.

Now, I know some say our kids are not getting the educations they need in school any longer, but come on. At 14 this teenager didn't know better than to stick something electrical into water like that?

Mattel Sues Porn Star Over "Barbie" Site

As if Mattel doesn't have enough on its hands with the recent Chinese toy recalls, it's now embroiled in a lawsuit with a porn star who happens to have the name China Barbie, as well as the website www.chinabarbie.com.

A little WHOIS research shows the domain is owned by Global China Networks, PO Box 1133, New York, NY 10163. It's been registered since 2004 and the technical contact is Terri Gibson. An email to the email address of record was not responded to.

Seems like a pretty cut-and-dried case, doesn't it? One would think so. I'm pretty sure Mattel will win this one, and poor China Barbie will have to change her name to China Midge or China Skipper.

China's Guidelines for Chinese Travelers: "no extortion, avoid nuclear waste and strip clubs"

Generally I don't need someone to tell me to avoid nuclear waste, but apparently China is playing it safe. These were just a few of the guidelines listed for Chinese travelers at the website of the Foreign Ministry.

''Keep peaceful in public places, don't talk loud and avoid sticking out,'' the guidelines said.

''Don't get involved in other people's quarrels in public places,'' it added. And, here's the best part, "When your legal rights are violated, avoid making things worse and resolve the problem through upright channels, not through extortion or other illegal methods."

Yeah, whenever I have problems, I also look to extortion as my first option. My guess is with all the flak over product safety, the upcoming Olympics, censorship, human rights violations - need I go on - China wants to make sure its citizens are pure and pristine.

Don't Look for O.J.'s "If I Did It" at Barnes & Noble

I doubt that "If I Did It" will have the same draw for book buyers as "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - despite this, I would expect plenty of curious, or perhaps the word is morbid, readers to purchase copies. However, today Barnes and Noble indicated it would not carry the book, except as a special order item or via their website - and they said it was due to lack of interest.

Meanwhile, today, Borders said it would stock the book - but would not promote it in any way.

You may recall this was scheduled to be published last November by ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins, with a first printing of 400,000 copies. But a firestorm erupted around the book, and it was dropped in response - and ReganBooks founder Judith Regan was fired by HarperCollins and her imprint disbanded.

Last month, a federal bankruptcy judge awarded rights to the book to Ron Goldman's family to help satisfy the $38 million wrongful death judgment against Simpson. The book is now being published by Beaufort Books, a small New York-based publisher. The Goldmans are calling the book Simpson's "confession."

On the other side of the coin with respect to the book's publication is Denise Brown, Nicole Brown Simpson's sister. She's labeled the publication of the book "hypocritical."

Personally, it seems like retailers are being forced to sell the book - because they don't want to miss out on potential sales - but they are still distancing themselves from it. Barnes & Noble's move still allows sales on the website, so they could still garner plenty of sales.

Michael Vick Agrees to Plea Bargain

Lead defense attorney Billy Martin today said that Michael Vick has plead guilty to federal dogfighting conspiracy charges. Prosecutors were seeking a prison term of 12 - 18 months, and at the time of this writing, no details were available on the length of the agreed-to sentence. However, the offense is punishable by up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

"After consulting with his family over the weekend, Michael Vick asked that I announce today that he has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors regarding the charges pending against him," lead defense attorney Billy Martin said in a statement.

My big concern is that this guy is pretty young - he is young enough to serve his time and come out and make millions more. The only hope I see is that since allegations include running a gambling operation, it's possible he could get a lifetime ban from the NFL. Possible, but unlikely.

China Begins TV Campaign Defending Product Safety as a New Allegation Emerges

The campaign, called "Believe in Made in China," follows months of product safety concerns over Chinese products, including (but not limited to!) toothpaste, toys, tires, fish, and bibs. In some cases, there has been more than one recall of a type of product.

In fact, even today, new allegations of unsafe Chinese goods emerged: New Zealand said it was investigating children's clothing found to contain dangerous levels of formaldehyde.

The first show in a weeklong series aired Sunday. It's interesting to note that rather than devoting the show to indicating how safety is being improved, the show seems to focus on the demonization of Chinese products, as a sort of protectionism.

"Personally, I believe it is new trend in trade protectionism. Although recalls are necessary, it is unfair to decide that all products made in China are unqualified," Li Changjiang, director of the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine, said on the first 90-minute segment.

Hmm, can I ask if this series is a documentary, an infomercial, or plain fiction?

APA Votes Down Ban on Participation in Interrogations

This weekend, the American Psychological Association met in San Francisco for its annual convention. As a psychologist, my wife was there. She, and many colleagues, felt the highly-anticipated vote on a ban on continued participation in detainee interrogations would be a formality, a rubber stamp. They were wrong.

The policy-making council of the APA voted against a proposal to ban psychologists from taking part in any interrogations at U.S. military prisons "in which detainees are deprived of adequate protection of their human rights." Instead, they approved a resolution that reaffirmed the association's opposition to torture. But even without the word "reaffirmed," it's clear this stance is no different than before.

Arguments in favor of continued participation in interrogations were given by those who said that the presence of psychologists at interrogations would prevent them from going "over the top," resulting in deaths. For example, Army Col. Larry James, who serves as a psychologist at Guantanamo Bay, said "If we remove psychologists from these facilities, people are going to die."

This has been the standard argument of the APA. Why then do other organizations take differing positions? While organizations such as the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Nursing Association. and the American Ethnomusicological Association have all taken strong stances against participation in interrogations, the APA continues to stand alone.

Many psychologists have withheld dues over this issue. Publications such as Vanity Fair have exposed the participation of psychologists in torture. It's even been revealed that the Presidential Task Force created by the APA to form ethics policy was dominated by psychologists from military and intelligence circles, some of whom were involved in the very interrogation chains of command now shown to have been involved in such abuse.

Despite these revelations, the APA continues to give tacit approval to torture. Why? The military was the first to endorse psychology as a real science, instead of voodoo. Some (the ones in power at the APA) see continued allegiance with military as a positive. Psychologists, or at least some, want to be able to prescribe psychotropic medications, and they see the military as a way to force that into effect in more states (currently only New Mexico and Louisiana allow this).

Following the vote by the council, there was a Town Hall, in which the top item in the agenda was the "new" resolution. It's interesting to note that 10 minutes into the discussion, media members were told to turn off their recorders or security would be called. When this was brought to the attention of rank-and-file members, a vote was taken and media was allowed to continue taping. But as one member later said in his time at the microphone, "what does the APA have to hide?"

What now? It looks like, for the APA itself, the status quo, while for many members, and groups such as the Psychoanalysts for Peace and Justice and Psychologists for an Ethical APA, the fight to change the official position of the APA will continue. We have not heard the last of this.

Pet Camel Kills Australian Woman While Attempting to Mate with Her

A pet camel has killed its owner while apparently attempting mating behavior, police said. The camel had been given to the woman, who had a love for exotic pets, in March, for her 60th birthday.

The unidentified woman was killed Saturday at her family sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 350 miles west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane. The 10-month-old male, which weighed about 330 pounds, knocked her to the ground then lay on top of her. Both police and a camel expert believe this to be mating behavior.

Obviously, and unfortunately for her, the camel had apparently become fairly attached to her.

Genetic discrimination: banned everywhere else; alive and well in the U.S. military

The Los Angeles Times has an excellent piece on genetic discrimination. While in most cases, this type of discrimination is banned in the United States, the military is able to use it to deny disability and medical benefits to veterans.

For more than 20 years, the armed forces have held a policy that specifically denies disability benefits to servicemen and women with congenital or hereditary conditions. The practice would be illegal in almost any other workplace.

There is one exception, instituted in 1999, that grants benefits to personnel who have served eight years.

"You could be in the military and be a six-pack-a-day smoker, and if you come down with emphysema, 'That's OK. We've got you covered,' " said Kathy Hudson, director of the Genetics and Public Policy Center at Johns Hopkins University."But if you happen to have a disease where there is an identified genetic contribution, you are screwed."

Yet another example of how poorly the administration treats its military servicemen and women. The scandal at Walter Reed Army hospital, the extended tours of duty, ignoring PTSD and mental illness in returning soldiers - after all they experience in Iraq and Afghanistan, they deserve better than this.

Matt Cooper: Rove's Lying about the Plame Affair

Today, Karl Rove appeared on "Meet the Press." (I thought I felt a disturbance in the force.) At any rate, after Rove's appearance, there was a round table including Ron Brownstein of the Los Angeles Times, Matt Cooper of Conde Nast Portfolio, John Harwood of The Wall Street Journal and CNBC, and Kate O’Beirne of the National Review. Note that David Gregory guest-hosted today.

During the round table, Cooper called Rove a liar (though he didn't use that term) with regards to Rove's statements on the Valerie Plame affair during the broadcast. From today's MTP transcript:

GREGORY: Matt Cooper, let’s pick up on an aspect of the interview with, with Karl Rove having to do with the leak case, the CIA leak case, that you were part of as well. And something’s that’s very interesting, he, he went out of his way to say, “I would not have been a confirming source on this kind of information” and taking issue with, with Novak’s testimony in his column that he knew who Valerie Plame was. He said he would never confirm that information. That’s different from your experience with him.

COOPER: Yeah, I, I think he was dissembling, to put it charitably. Look, Karl Rove told me about Valerie Plame’s identity on July 11th, 2003. I called him because Ambassador Wilson was in the news that week. I didn’t know Ambassador Wilson even had a wife until I talked to Karl Rove and he said that she worked at the agency and she worked on WMD. I mean, to imply that he didn’t know about it or that this was all the leak...

GREGORY: Or that he had heard it from somebody else...

COOPER: ...by someone else, or he heard it as some rumor out in the hallway is, is nonsense.

For those who don't know, dissembling (from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary) means "to put on a false appearance : conceal facts, intentions, or feelings under some pretense." In other words, lie.

The podcast for today's MTP episode can be found here.

Church uses iPhone as "Door Prize" to gain worshippers

Churches are making my life far too easy these last couple of days. Not only did the Rev. Wiley S. Drake ask followers to pray for the death of critics who "outed" him to the IRS, now we have an enterprising pastor in Coral Gables, Florida using an iPhone as a door prize to attract new worshippers - or at least looky-loos. This is the same church, Church of the Glades, that in January drew 50,000 hits to its website with a billboard proclaiming "The Bare Naked Truth on Sex."

For those who happen to be in Coral Gables, anyone who comes to services for the first time (darn, members are out) during the next three weekends can get a $15 iTunes gift card by filling out a "connection card." For the big, prize, that's only available today, so hurry in - one new attendee will win that iPhone.

The sermons over the next three weeks will be focused on gadgetry and its influence on our lives. The series will be called "i: Successful Living in a Self-Absorbed World."

Sermon or no, it's an interesting topic: are we, as iPod-toting, cell phone carrying, IM-entranced humans are so self-absorbed that we are losing touch with how to speak to others, face-to-face. Psychologists have even written papers about this subject.

There's a related piece here called "Are We Too Connected With Our Gadgets and Not With Each Other?"

Salad: Giger's Alien in Vegetable Form

Till Nowak has worked as a freelance media artist since 1999 in his own studio in Mainz, Germany. He has created a 3D digital model of H.R. Giger's Alien, using digital models of vegetables. Note, it's not physically created with vegetables, but by using photographs of vegetables for the texturing process.

From a .PDF file on the artist's website:

MODELLING

Till Nowak modelled twelve digital vegetables in 3ds Max using classical polygon modelling techniques. Photographs of fresh vegetables were used for the texturing process. Most of the vegetables started with a cylinder primitive and needed around 30 minutes of work. The modelling was easy – it was much more difficult to find the right places and orientations to build a monster with it.

RENDERING

The final image was done by rendering several passes, such as diffuse, specular and ambient occlusion using 3ds Max Scanline renderer and Mental ray. The rendering was done in a few minutes thanks to my lowtech-lighting-methods.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the vegetable garden, right?

California Minister prays for 'death for his tax critics'

The Rev. Wiley S. Drake of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, Calif., who has endorsed former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee for president, has asked his followers to pray for the deaths of those who lodged a complaint against him with the IRS.

Drake used both church stationary and his Internet radio show for the endorsement. Based on this, the Americans United for Separation of Church and State asked the IRS to investigate. Churches that endorse candidates may be subject to losing their tax-exempt status.

Drake responded to this via email, his radio show, and a press release on ChristianNewsWire which said, in part:

Now that all efforts have been exhausted, we must begin our Imprecatory Prayer, at the key points of the parliamentary role in the earth where we live.

David as our Old Testament shepherd gives us many Imprecatory prayers, and can be found to be in best focus in Psalm 109. Also chapters 55, 58, 68, 69, and 83.

Psalm 109 is noted for containing some of the most frighteningly severe curses in the Bible, such as (from the New American Bible):

"May his days be few; may another take his office."

"May his children be fatherless, his wife, a widow."

"May his children be vagrant beggars, driven from their hovels."

This is so compassionately Christian of him. Naturally he tried to do damage control, later saying that he wasn't personally asking for the deaths of those who reported him to the IRS, rather that "It doesn't matter what I want – it matters what God wants. It's time Americans United was put in their place. We're asking God to do that." In other words, God needs to take action against these blasphemers, and we should pray to entreat Him to do so.

Uh, huh. In a statement, Alice Stewart, a campaign spokeswoman for Huckabee, said they had not coordinated with Drake in any way and "We certainly don't condone the evil comments he's made."

Goof in Arkansas Law Allows Marriage at Any Age

One added "not" in a law and - with parental consent - people of any age can marry in Arkansas. The law reads "In order for a person who is younger than eighteen (18) years of age and who is not pregnant to obtain a marriage license, the person must provide the county clerk with evidence of parental consent to the marriage."

Bill sponsor Rep. Will Bond said "It's clearly not the intent to allow 10-year-olds or 11-year-olds to get married. The legislation was screwed up."

"We need a special session to fix this," Sen. Sue Madison said. "I am concerned about pedophiles coming to Arkansas to find parents who are willing to sign a very young child's consent."

I doubt it would be that easy for pedophiles to find parents willing to sign a consent form, however, in today's world, anything is possible. The law went into effect on July 31st. Because the Arkansas legislature has adjourned for the year, the only way to remedy this would be if Gov. Mike Beebe calls a special session.

Two 19¢ Washers = 38¢; Shipping = $998,798

As if you really trusted the judgment of the military before this, this really ought to make you think they are - well, fools. C&D Distributors in Lexington, South Carolina collected about $20 million in fraudulent shipping costs over six years from the Pentagon, including the aforementioned $998,798 for two washers they shipped to Texas.

In all the parts shipped reached about $68,000 while the shipping reached $20.5 million. How did this happen? The company exploited a flaw in an automated Defense Department purchasing system: anything marked 'priority' had its shipping paid automatically.

The Pentagon finally noticed when an "alert" purchasing agent noticed a bill for shipping two more 19¢ washers for $969,000. That order was rejected and a review turned up the prior order, and started the ball rolling.

The owners of the company were twin sisters - one died recently, and the other, Charlene Corley, plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and one count of conspiracy to launder money, Assistant U.S. Attorney Kevin McDonald said. Corley, 46, was fined $750,000. She faces a maximum prison sentence of 20 years on each count and will be sentenced soon.

Police hold gun exchange, receive missile launcher

Orlando police held a gun exchange at the Citrus Bowl Friday. Besides the run-of-the-mill shotguns, pistols, zip guns and assault rifles, they also received a shoulder-fired missile launcher.

The exchange, typical of these events, was no questions asked, so they asked ... no questions. But the man indicated he found the missile in a shed he tore down last week. "I didn't know what to do with it, so I brought it here. I took it to three dumps to try to get rid of it and they told me to get lost."

He exchanged it for size-3 Reebok sneakers for his daughter.

Toys "R" Us halts sales of vinyl bibs from - guess where

You guessed it, China. Toys "R" Us said today that it was halting sales of all vinyl bibs after laboratory tests showed evidence that at least some of the bibs were contaminated with lead. The bibs were were imported from China for Toys "R" Us by Hamco Baby Products.

According to a press release, " In recent days, Toys “R” Us asked Bureau Veritas, a world leader in independent testing, to re-test samples of all Hamco-manufactured bibs sold by the company. Among its findings, the Bureau Veritas tests found two samples of Hamco bibs that contained lead over the strict Toys “R” Us testing requirements. As a result of inconsistent results between the company’s May 2007 and August 2007 tests, Toys “R” Us has immediately stopped sale of these items in its stores. These bibs were sold to Toys “R” Us by Hamco and marketed under the Koala Baby, Especially for Baby and Disney Baby labels."

Suspect bibs can be returned for a full refund, according to the press release.

It's interesting that earlier this year, Wal-Mart also had a recall of vinyl bibs for traces of lead - the vendor: Hamco Baby Products.

Besides the trend here with Hamco, there is also the obvious trend with Chinese products of any type, it seems.

Vick's Co-Defendents accuse him of executing dogs

All of Michael Vick's co-defendents have agreed to plea bargains, and on Friday two of them - Purnell Peace, 35, of Virginia Beach and Quanis Phillips, 28, of Atlanta - entered guilty pleas. At the same time one of them today accused Vick of executing dogs that did not perform to his liking.

Peace and Phillips join co-defendant Tony Taylor of Hampton, who struck a similar deal last month. The agreements require the three to cooperate in Vick's prosecution.

In a statement signed by Phillips, he said Vick participated in the execution of about eight dogs, some by drowning and hanging.

Additionally, statements by Peace and Phillips say "The 'Bad Newz Kennels' operation and gambling monies were almost exclusively funded by Vick."

As a result of his co-defendent's plea bargains, rumors have been rampant that Vick will pursue his own plea agreement, with some saying the deal will require him to serve one year in prison.

With our skewed priorities on sports, who wants to bet that one year later he will be back in the NFL?

Litvinenko poison found at London lap-dancing bar

Nine months after the murder of ex-spy Alexander Litvinenko, new details have emerged. Forty-seven additional sites were checked for radiation, including five buses, eight aircraft, eight hotels and seven restaurants. Radioactive traces were found at four new locations, including the Hey Jo nightclub, a lap dancing bar. It was also on a shisha pipe in the West End restaurant Dar Marakesh, in a taxi and in Litvinenko’s Mercedes.

It's amazing how pervasive something like this is - and it shows what might happen in the case of a "dirty bomb." It also shows a new way you could track someone's whereabouts, but for some reason I doubt it will catch on.

Navy "out of stock" on Purple Hearts: "Buy Your Own"

What does it say about our administration and the military when they have this sort of attitude? I get better treatment at a retail store. At least there I can get a rain check.

Korean War veteran Nyles Reed, 75, opened an envelope last week to learn a Purple Heart had been approved for injuries he sustained as a Marine on June 22, 1952. Originally, when he first sustained the injury, he felt it was unnecessary to apply for the medal, but three years ago he decided he wanted something to hand down to his grandchildren. Still, even three years is a long time, and the delay alone speaks volumes.

There was no medal in the envelope, just a certificate and a letter stating that the medal was "out of stock." The letter from the Navy Personnel Command told Reed he could wait 90 days and resubmit - or buy his own.

Since he had waited over 50 years, he decided to wait no longer, and bought his own for $42 at a military surplus store.

Maj. J. DeLaRosa, a media affairs officer for the Marines at the Pentagon, couldn't believe Reed received only the certificate.

"That's unacceptable. 'Out of stock'? That's like saying, 'We're out of ammo.' That's like saying 'The Marines are going to close tomorrow.' It just seems a bit weird," DeLaRosa said. "There have been a lot of guys wounded, but not to the point that we're out of medals."

Sounds a lot like damage control to me.

Stephen King Mistaken for Vandal

Let this be a lesson for you - don't just walk in off the street into a store, no matter who you are and how famous you think you are - and start autographing books. Especially when what you write are horror stories and you have the potential for looking like the above in the right light.

A customer at a bookstore in remote Alice Springs, Australia alerted management after noticing a man walk in off the street and begin writing in several books. By the time the store manager, Bev Ellis ran over, he was gone - and looking in the books, lo and behold, the signature was "Stephen King."

Ellis saw him across the street at a supermarket and introduced herself. "He was lovely, very nice, charming," she said. "He introduced me to his friends and we had a talk. I don't think he wanted people to know he was here but I told him that if I knew he was coming I would have baked him a cake."

The alert customer bought one book and the other five will be donated to charity.

Couple arrested for not covering up anti-Bush t-shirts get $80k settlement

On July 4th, 2004, Nicole and Jeffrey Rank (pictured) were arrested for refusing to remove their anti-Bush T-shirts at a rally at Charleston, West Virginia, where Bush gave a speech. If I may interject the obvious - whatever happened to freedom of speech?

At any rate, the charges were dropped, and in September of that year the ACLU filed a lawsuit on their behalf, against thee United States Secret Service and Greg Jenkins, Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of White House Advance.

At the time, ACLU Senior Staff Attorney Chris Hansen, lead counsel, said "This is a simple case. Two Americans went to see their president and to express their disagreement with his policies respectfully and peacefully. They were arrested at the direction of federal officials. That is precisely what the First Amendment was adopted to prevent."

Apparently it wasn't that simple, as it's been two years, but the ACLU announced today that the lawsuit has been settled for $80,000.

"This settlement is a real victory not only for our clients but for the First Amendment," said Andrew Schneider, executive director of the ACLU of West Virginia. "As a result of the Ranks' courageous stand, public officials will think twice before they eject peaceful protesters from public events for exercising their right to dissent."

Ironically, Jeffrey Rank was, at least of the time of the filing of the lawsuit, a registered Republican. I'm not sure if he still is.

Johnson & Johnson Tracks Fake Diabetes Tests - to China

To China, eh? Another Chinese-related safety issue, but this one, unlike the recent toy recall, isn't simply a "mistake" or a result of slipshod manufacturing practices. This, being counterfeit diabetes tests, can only be categorized as fraudulent and deliberate.

Johnson & Johnson, the world's largest consumer-health products maker, learned of the counterfeit tests after 15 patients complained of erroneous results last September. These were copies of the OneTouch Test Strip sold by Johnson & Johnson's LifeScan unit.

While testing equipment in and of itself would not be lethal, the results, if incorrect, could cause the person to inject incorrect amounts of insulin, eat incorrectly, or take other actions which could lead to a diabetic coma or even death.

According to a court documents obtained by Bloomberg News, the trail led all the way to two importers, one in the U.S. and one in Canada. These importers were buying the fake strips Henry Fu and his company, Halson Pharmaceutical, which is based in Shanghai.

While this is not the same as outsourcing manufacturing and getting goods for the lowest price possible, and while there are, quite honestly, counterfeiting operations around the world, it couldn't come at a worse time for U.S. - China trade relations.

Chinese Couple "@" Odds with Government Over Baby's Name

It's bad enough to want to name your baby "Superman" or "4Real", but the Internet "@" sign?

The father "said 'the whole world uses it to write e-mails and translated into Chinese it means 'love him,'"' Li Yuming, the vice director of the State Language Commission, said at a news conference.

What the director means is if you pronounce the symbol in English as 'at,' it sounds like the Chinese phrase "love him.

Part of the problem stems from Chinese law which states that children are only allowed to take the surname from either their mother or father. This has led to about 85% out of China's 1.4 billion people sharing only 100 surnames, according to a 2006 survey.

Of course, I hope the parents realize what this would mean: an email address of @@gmail.com or something - and most text entry fields don't look too kindly on symbols as parts of names.

Mainstream Media continues to spread "Petraeus Report" Myth

Despite reports yesterday to the contrary, mainstream media continues to state that the September "surge report" will be written by General Petraeus. For example, today in the Washingon Post, once again buried deep in an editorial about Iraqi civilian casualties - a worthwhile op-ed, by the way, is the statement:

The general is expected to elaborate on that progress in a report to Congress in September and to ask for more time for his strategy to work, while acknowledging -- as he also said yesterday -- that the U.S. military presence in Iraq will have to be "a good bit smaller" by next summer.

I suppose, if you really want to stretch the truth, that you could in fact say that Petraeus would be in fact reporting on the progress - or lack thereof - as he likely will be presenting the report. However, I think none of the news items over the last few days should come as a surprise.

Three arrested after lacing supermarket meat with maggots

For once some anti-social behavior in a different part of the world. And yes, you're welcome; I didn't use a maggot picture. Three men in the northern Dutch town of Damwoude were charged with "damaging property" after adding maggots to supermarket meat. And that same meat was later sold to a customer, police said.

The three must not watch shows like "Most Shocking" as they didn't realize their act was caught on tape. After the customer complained, an examination of the day's footage revealed the men, aged 18 - 21.

They had a really good excuse for doing it, too. They had leftover bait after fishing.

Man Who Tried to Rob Nun Arrested

Oh, come on. In Madison, Wisconsin Tuesday morning, a 61-year-old Catholic nun's home was broken into by a would-be thief. However, this nun had taken a vow of poverty and had no money - anywhere. After being told this, the man forced her to drive her around while trying to figure out a way to get money from her. All the while, he was apologizing - and wondering if he would be forgiven by the church, a police spokesman said.

ATMs were not an option as the sister said she had no access to any money. He gave up, she dropped him off, and then called police. Police later arrested the 41-year-old Madison man on a probation violation and tentative charges of kidnapping, burglary, battery and possession of drug paraphernalia.

What ever happened to the "good old days" when a thief would break in on a nun, say "oops, sorry Sister" and leave?

Britney to sons: "You were both mistakes!"

This should actually serve as an explanation for why we should be concerned with a pampered, spoiled young celebrity whose life seems out of control (sound like anyone else?). In this case, it's not really for Britney herself. It's for her sons. Man, can you imagine what it's like being her child? One shudders at the thought of Paris or Lindsay having kids, BTW.

The cover of the latest issue of Star Magazine says it all: Britney has told her kids they were both mistakes. An unnamed source spilled the beans to the magazine.

According to the source: “When Britney is upset, she yells and screams at the boys and once told them, ‘You were both mistakes!’ She’s called them ‘burdens, a pain in the ass and the reason (your) father left.’”

The source also says “she tried to whiten (Sean Preston’s) teeth using Crest Whitestrips, but he kept crying. Finally, Britney threw the strips away, telling Sean, ‘Fine, you’ll just have ugly teeth then!’”

So, would it be better for the children if Kevin Federline managed to wrest custody away from them? Wow, it's really hard to say - in this day and age it's not that easy to find young celebrities who have their act together - or maybe I should say it's easy to find those that do not!

Red Roses Lead to Divorce, Lawsuit

Now why would red roses lead to a divorce? Allergy? He forgot his wife likes carnations instead?

Well, Leroy Greer, romantic that he is, sent a dozen roses and a teddy bear to his special someone. Unfortunately, the receipt was sent to his wife, while the bouquet and teddy bear were sent to his girlfriend.

Greer had asked that no receipt be sent - but one was. And his wife, upon seeing the receipt, naturally a) read it, b) called them since she had received nothing. Well, 1-800-Flowers obligingly faxed her a copy of the order, including the girlfriend's address and the message, which said "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!"

Needless to say, divorce followed. And now a lawsuit has followed that, as Greer is suing for $1 million for "mental anguish" caused by the mix-up and his resultant divorce.

Uh, huh. All I can say is, the mental anguish was really a result of his infidelity - though yes, 1-800-Flowers made a mistake - and he should have used the online ordering system if he really wanted to be safe (as that receipt just gets sent to your email address)!

White House to write September Iraq Report, not Petraeus and Crocker

Despite the common belief (and statements to that effect) that the September report on the progress of the "surge" in Iraq would be written by Gen. David H. Petraeus and Ryan Crocker (U.S. Ambassador to Iraq), the report will actually be written by the White House, with input from various agencies. This was reported today in the Los Angeles Times, but it was buried deep within a story on the expected content of the report itself. In fact, it was nearly at the end of the story, rather than being front-and-center where it should be.

To me, this reduces or eliminates the hoped-for unbiased nature of the report. (All right, I'll admit it, I didn't really expect it to be unbiased). In point-of-fact, no matter what the report says, it'll be up to the White House to present the results to the public, and they will spin it any way they way. After all, the prior report in July reported “satisfactory performance on 8 of the 18 benchmarks," which, I hate to say it, is below 50% and doesn't really satisfy me.

The story does go on to say that the September report will likely suggest a pullback - but not a withdrawal. What this means is just like any other pullback in any war - keep the troops in the "fray", but move them to some other location, most like, in the case of Iraq, one needing more support.

My prediction: some degree of success. Enough to keep us in Iraq. Perhaps even the insurgency in it's "Last Throes". Now where have we heard that before?

Guard Tasers Father Holding Newborn Daughter

A hospital security guard fired a Taser to stop a defiant father from taking home his newborn, resulting in both father and daughter collapsing to the floor. William Lewis said his daughter suffered head trauma and also stated "She shakes a lot and cries a lot. She's not real responsive. Something is definitely wrong with my daughter." Doctors have performed several MRIs on the child, Karla.

Despite all that, it should be known that the father and mother of the child are not saints. Child Protective Services currently has custody of the baby because of a history of domestic violence between the parents (Lewis and his wife, Jacqueline Gray). CPS says they haven't noted any issues as a result of the fall.

At the time of the incident, Lewis and his wife tried to leave Woman's Hospital of Texas with the baby, but they were told doctors would not allow it. In spite of this, Lewis picked up the baby and headed for the elevators.

David Boling, an off-duty Houston police officer working as a security guard at the hospital approached Lewis, along with another security guard. After a short period of time, it is Boling who Tasered Lewis.

All of this, short of the alleged impact of the daughter's head with the floor, was captured on video.

"I've got to wonder what kind of moron would Tase an adult holding a baby," said George Kirkham, a former police officer and criminologist at Florida State University. "It doesn't take rocket science to realize the baby is going to fall. The Taser itself is a legitimate law-enforcement tool. The problem is the abusive use of them. They're supposed to be only used to protect yourself or another person from imminent aggression and physical harm. They're overused now."

Rush Limbaugh lands first post-resignation Rove interview

Hoo boy, this is bound to score ratings with the dittoheads. Rush has scored the first interview with Karl Rove since his resignation. From a Premier Radio Network press release:

Live on the radio airwaves tomorrow, August 15, at 1:06 p.m. ET, Karl Rove will be a guest on The Rush Limbaugh Show. This is the former Deputy Chief of Staff’s first exclusive interview since his resignation from the Bush Administration.

And of course, yesterday, just like Bush, Limbaugh was fawning all over Rove, saying "He's always upbeat, having a great time. He's one of the smartest people you would ever run into, the statistics and history of politics that he can rattle off," and "He's a fine, upstanding, cheerful, optimistic person just like the president is."

I don't think Rush realizes that being "just like the president is" isn't really a compliment.

Joyriding German Teen Kills 300 Chickens

Well, it's hard to say if he killed them or if they killed themselves, but either way, he was responsible. A drunken German teenager on a joyride crashed a van into their shed, police said. The shed contained about 1000 chickens total.

"Apparently some of the chickens were so desperate to get away that they ran into the wall and died," the spokesman said. "Others suffered heart attacks."

After crashing the van into the shed, he fled to a nearby fairground where he was staying, and was eventually captured.

Mattel announces massive second recall of China-made toys

What does this remind me of? It reminds me of the Sony battery recalls of the last two years. In that case, it's almost like ... let's just recall all Sony batteries and get it over with. In this case, it's let's just recall everything made in China. Except if we were to do that, we would have almost nothing left.

Mattel is recalling a second set of toys (made in China, natch), less than 2 weeks after its original recall of 1.5 million toys, of which 967,000 toys were sold in the United States between May and August.

Some of these toys may have lead paint; others may have magnets that can be swallowed. The recall includes over 7 million toys, including Polly Pocket dolls and Batman action figures, and die-cast cars from the Pixar "Cars" movie that contain lead paint.

In a related story, the head of the Chinese company that manufactured the toys in the original recall committed suicide. Zhang Shuhong, who co-owned Lee Der Industrial Co. Ltd., hanged himself at a warehouse over the weekend,

Here's my two cents: we want the lowest possible price for everything we buy. That's been reinforced by companies like Wal-Mart. Besides creating factories that are basically slave labor camps, in return for these prices - we seem to be getting what we pay for.

U.K. teenager overdoses on caffeine

Jasmine Willis, 17, after a night with only five hours of sleep, had seven double espressos in four hours. She could hardly breathe and was taken to hospital with a high temperature and heart palpitations.

She has been working in her father's sandwich shop and lo and behold - he just had a brand-new coffee machine installed.

"I decided to have a double espresso to perk me up," she said. "It did the trick so I had one after another and they seemed to be working. I felt great - as if I could take on the world."

She spent several hours under observation at the University Hospital of North Durham, where the caffeine overdose was diagnosed.

Women Calls Police Over "Fake" Cocaine

A woman in Georgia was arrested after she called police to help "get her money back" after she was unhappy with the quality of the crack cocaine she purchased. Apparently, as Juanita Marie Jones, 53, said, she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."

After she showed the officers the "fake" cocaine, though, they promptly arrested her for possession. It's unclear, but it appears that what she thought was fake, was actually just poor quality - so off to jail she went.

Even more humorous - I actually saw a very similar case on "Cops" once. In that case, she simply didn't get the product, and wanted the police to arrest the person who didn't give her the cocaine. And of course, he told her that if she did get the crack, he'd have to arrest her - you can imagine her reaction then.

Chinese-Made Hotel Toothpaste Recalled

Wait, wait, let me get this straight. Chinese-made toothpaste has been recalled all around the world, and this is the first time anyone thought - wait a minute, what about those free tubes we have in hotels?

Gilchrist & Soames is recalling its 0.65-ounce tubes with the name ... well, Gilchrist & Soames on them. Indeed, what do you think tests found? Yep, the tubes contained diethylene glycol, the same chemical found in the other contaminated tubes around the world, and the stuff that's in antifreeze.

To those who might have snatched a tube or two from their last hotel stay: see what happens when you lift stuff from your hotel room?

Cheney's Neighbors Topple Effigy of him in Protest

My guess is Dick Cheney did something really bad, like build across his neighbor's property line or something. Hundreds of anti-war protestors gathered near his home in the exclusive Teton Pines Country Club in Wyoming (where he typically goes on his August vacation - oh, sorry, recess) to protest his role in leading the US into Iraq, and to call for his impeachment.

They chanted "Impeach Cheney first" and "No more Iraq war," and they brought along a 10-foot tall effigy of him, made of paper-mache. Reminiscent of the toppling of Saddam's statue in Baghdad, the protesters pulled it down after first looping a rope around its neck.

The effigy, by the way, holds a fishing poll in one hand and an oil well; personally, I might have substituted a shotgun for the fishing pole - but that's just me.

"We organized it because of the war in Iraq and what an injustice it has been," Walt Farmer, a retired Air Force captain and registered Republican, told the Casper Star Tribune. "The Vice President has received a pass in Jackson long enough. We want to let them know we don't approve of the war or how they play fast and loose with the Constitution."

The YouTube video can be viewed here.

Karl Rove, "Bush's brain," to leave at end of August

Does anyone remember that terrible Star Trek: TOS episode "Spock's Brain?" Probably not, it was one of the worst episodes. Well, the man some have called "Bush's Brain", Karl Rove, also Bush's close friend and chief political strategist, has announced his resignation, effective at the end of August.

Rove has been at the center of many controversies, including, of late, the "Scooter" Libby trial and assertions of executive privilege in the Alberto Gonzales "Attorneygate" scandal.

It's just the latest in a long line of resignations since the Democrats won Congress last year, including White House counselor Dan Bartlett, budget director Rob Portman, chief White House attorney Harriet Miers, political director Sara Taylor, deputy national security adviser J.D. Crouch and Meghan O'Sullivan, another deputy national security adviser who worked on Iraq. And le'ts not forget Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who was forced out immediately after the election.

It remains to be see how Bush does without his brain, but based on recent comments he didn't have much of one anyway.

Pennsylvania Teacher Resigns After Date with Porn Star

Slow down, it wasn't even a real date; Jaison Biagini won the date on the Sirius satellite radio show "Bubba the Love Sponge." On the other hand, you'd have to admit, this falls into the category of "what was he thinking of?"

Biagini taught art for 14 years at Monessen High School; he entered the contest because he wanted to win a free trip to St. Peterburg, Florida and visit the Salvador Dali museum there.He described the date as being "all fake and staged." No! You mean you didn't get a real "date" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)?

Seriously, though, it is unfortunate that Biagini uses a wheelchair, and during the interview on the radio show after returning home, he was apparently ridiculed for his disability.

French First Lady Snubs Bush

Yesterday, George W. Bush and Nicolas Sarkozy had a "casual" lunch (punctuated by Bush's "I can barely speak English" comment), but Cecilia Sarkozy was nowhere to be seen. Why?

She apparently declined lunch with Bush, saying she had a throat ailment. She called Laura Bush about an hour before lunch saying that she and her children would not be able to make the gathering.

Sick as she was, she was seen Sunday taking a stroll, while her husband was seen wearing earphones and jogging. Yesterday, he apologized to Bush for giving his wife her cold.

Must not have been very serious, or else it was the "I don't want to be in the same room as him" variety of virus.

Driver "pimps his ride" with home A/C unit

It's no secret that Texas summers are hot, whether or not you believe in global warming. Civil Engineer Scott Dawson had gone through 3 years of Houston summers without A/C, and decided he'd had enough. So, rather than spending $1200 to get the A/C fixed on a car he planned to get rid of soon, he decided to go the cheap route. He took a home window air conditioning unit (they are pretty cheap, right?), bolted and wired it to his car, and created what is definitely not going to be a babe magnet.

Now, I can't imagine this engineer didn't at least think about the added drag on his car while driving, and the additional weight of the unit - and what it would do to his MPG - so was there something else behind all this? Like getting his 15 minutes of fame perhaps?

Anyway, I also can't believe $1200 for A/C repair - unless he went to a dealer, which is bound to have outrageous prices, rather than someone else, that seems waaaaay too high.

In 1994, Cheney Warned: "Invading Iraq would be a quagmire"

I guess Dick Cheney changed his mind from 1994 to 2003. There's a wildly popular YouTube video that shows Cheney explaining in 1994 that trying to take over Iraq would be a "bad idea" and lead to a "quagmire." No, really? I guess he was prophetic (though I would hardly call him a prophet). It should serve as a reminder to politicians: with YouTube and other video sites, and citizen journalists and bloggers, nothing is forgotten (remember George Allen?).

From the video:

Q: Do you think the U.S., or U.N. forces, should have moved into Baghdad?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: Because if we'd gone to Baghdad we would have been all alone. There wouldn't have been anybody else with us. There would have been a U.S. occupation of Iraq. None of the Arab forces that were willing to fight with us in Kuwait were willing to invade Iraq.

Once you got to Iraq and took it over, took down Saddam Hussein's government, then what are you going to put in its place? That's a very volatile part of the world, and if you take down the central government of Iraq, you could very easily end up seeing pieces of Iraq fly off: part of it, the Syrians would like to have to the west, part of it - eastern Iraq - the Iranians would like to claim, they fought over it for eight years. In the north you've got the Kurds, and if the Kurds spin loose and join with the Kurds in Turkey, then you threaten the territorial integrity of Turkey.

It's a quagmire if you go that far and try to take over Iraq.

You can see the video here.

Judge in $54M pants lawsuit continues his antics

As if it wasn't bad enough that Administrative law judge Roy Pearson sued for $54 million in damages because a dry cleaners lost his pants, he still hasn't stopped what I consider to be ludicrous antics.

Pearson lost the lawsuit. If you recall, Pearson had claimed that the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign that once hung in the Chungs' shop was misleading and violated the D.C. consumer protection act. However, in her ruling, Washington Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff said "A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands."

Pearson filed an opposition to the defendants' motion for attorneys' fees Friday. He said he shouldn't have to pay the $82,907.50 that the Chung family owes over his lawsuit. His opposition "is yet another example of his irrational crusade against the Chungs. His arguments are meritless," defense attorney Chris Manning wrote in an e-mail.

I'm not sure where this guy's mind is ... can't he see how ridiculous all this is? The Washington Post reports he may lose his job over this, and quite frankly - he deserves to.

Bush: "I can barely speak English"

No, I'm not making this up; he said it. I'm not surprised by this statement, actually, since he has a great deal of difficulty with the English language ("nucular" always comes to mind). I will admit that I've make fun of this so often that I have to struggle to say "nuclear" myself.

Of course, this is just another Bushism, and I should give context. This weekend Bush is hosting French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Today, they had what the White House called “a casual family lunch,” which I'm pretty sure did not include either French or Freedom Fries. Later, both George W. and George H.W. Bush went for a spin with Sarkozy on the elder Mr. Bush’s cigarette boat.

Naturally this is just another day in Bush's current vacation. And now, to be fair, the context. When asked by a journalist if he could say something in French, Bush said “No I can’t, I can barely speak English.” Even with the context, I find it hilarious.

Yes, there really is a dog with two noses

An explorer, Colonel Percy Fawcett, who claimed to have seen a Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound in 1913 was dismissed as a kook - but now there's photographic evidence. Explorer Colonel John Blashford-Snell spotted a rare breed of Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound, which has two noses, on a recent trip to Bolivia. (Anyone besides me wonder why all these explorers are Colonels? )

The dog, named Xingu, is pictured above. Sorry, I just can't find this dog particularly attractive.

I keep wondering if this was Photoshopped or something, especially when I read comments like "This breed could be used for sniffing out mines or narcotics because they have an enhanced sense of smell" from Blashford-Snell.

However, they had veterinary expert with the group examine Xingu to see if he had a cleft palate, but he did not.

"There is a chance that these dogs came from a breed with double noses that's known in Spain as Pachon Navarro, which were hunting dogs at the time of the Conquistadors," said Colonel Blashford-Snell.

Additionally, there's a picture of Xingu's mother, Bella.

Johnson & Johnson Sues the American Red Cross over Emblem

The American Red Cross (ARC) and Johnson & Johnson (J&J) have shared the "cross emblem" for over a century. Yet J&J has sued the American Red Cross for using its trademark - for other than non-profit purposes.

That appears to be the gist of the argument, or at least from J&J's statements it is. The issue has become quite contentious, with J&J claiming the ARC is marketing first-aid kits to make a profit, while the Red Cross says the money from the sale of the kits goes exclusively to its relief services.

“For a multi-billion dollar drug company to claim that the Red Cross violated a criminal statute that was created to protect the humanitarian mission of the Red Cross—simply so that J&J can make more money—is obscene,” said Mark W. Everson, President and CEO of the American Red Cross. and called the pharmaceutical giant's lawsuit "obscene."

Most likely the real issue is that the Red Cross has products such as first aid kits, nail clippers, combs and toothbrushes that directly compete with J&J's own products.

Around the world people see the Red Cross and know what it means, and quite honestly, I think they associate it with the ARC more than with J&J. You can probably see where I'm going with this, and which side I'm rooting for. Hopefully they will probably come to some sort of settlement.

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor gloom of night - but wasps, yes!

A 250-home subdivision in Michigan had its mail service halted because a USPS mail carrier was constantly being attacked by wasps. Oceola Township was told, according to Jason Huntley, one of the residents: "They told me the whole subdivision wouldn't get mail until we changed the type of mailboxes we have."

"Our carrier has been stung repeatedly over the past week," Bob Peterson, facility safety coordinator for the Postal Service, told The Detroit News. "Her one arm was still twice the size of the other."

My question is: what does the type of box have to do with the wasps? Maybe a kind reader can inform us. Anyway, they compromised and hired an exterminator. Service was scheduled to resume today.

Bush creeping up on Reagan as the 'Vacation President'

Don't get me wrong, all of Congress is on "recess" right now, as is typical in August (wouldn't want to give us voters the wrong impression and call it vacation). And of course, the Iraqi Parliament is on "recess" as well. But Ronald Reagan has held the dubious record of the most vacation days as president, at 436 days, and Bush seems on track to dethrone him, with 418 and counting.

On Thursday, Bush left for a weekend in Kennebunkport, Maine, and his family's summer compound, Walker's Point. On Monday, he heads to his Crawford, Texas hideout, for his 65th trip.

And this should be a sore point to American workers, who recently have been labeled 'vacation deprived' due to working to increase productivity as well as keep their jobs in a global economy where outsourcing is around every corner. When compared to our European counterparts, or to our representatives in the government, we are sorely in need of a rest.

Poachers revealed when they fly decoy flag upside down

Look at the Malaysian flag I posted. Does it seem that hard to determine which way is right-side up? To me, it does not, but apparently to some Vietnamese poachers, it was impossible to figure out.

They were fishing in Malaysian waters and had been given the flag to disguise themselves. Local fisherman became slightly suspicious when they flew the flag upside down, and reported the boat to authorities.

Fisheries officials detained 13 crewmen after seizing 500 kg of stingrays, valued at 6,000 ringgit ($1,737), along with a fake fishing license.

All I can say is next time, do a little homework (or maybe use a tiny bit of common sense).

There's No Crying in Sumo Wresting!

Anyone remember the movie "A League of Their Own?" One of the great scenes in that movie was when Tom Hanks, playing manager Jimmy Dugan, told a player "There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!" Apparently there's no crying in sumo wresting, either.

You may recall my earlier story about sumo wrestler Asashoryu, who bowed out of a tour claiming injury, then played soccer - on TV. He received a suspension for that, as well as a temporary pay cut. Well, reportedly he's on the brink of a nervous breakdown, and is holed up in his apartment on the verge of tears.

Psychiatrist Masaki Honda examined him and said the wrestler was depressed and made the comments about the potential nervous breakdown. He said the wrestler was barely able to talk, while his trainer said Asashoryu was "holding back tears."

Uh, huh. Who payed for the exam and chose the doctor, anyway? At any rate, Asashoryu has a reputation of being cocky and arrogant - as well as being in hot water several times previously, and most feel the punishment is deserved. I think it's time to call in Tom Hanks to give him a pep talk.

New Condoms Could Produce Big Results

British condom maker Futura Medical Plc said that a study showed its new condom helped men have firmer and bigger erections. Now how does it do this? The condom has a small amount of gel in its peak that dilates the arteries and increases blood flow to the penis.

The study of 108 healthy couples showed the CSD500 condom helped men to get a firmer erection compared with a standard condom, increased penis size and made the sexual experience last longer.

The firm hopes the condom will go on sale next year. I could actually see a large market for this ...

Man sent to hospital by decapitated snake

And here I thought it was only things like say - oh, flatworms and cockroaches that you could cut off the heads off - and still have them live. All right, I'll be honest, I don't think it was really alive. But at any rate - 53-year-old Danny Anderson learned the hard way it could still bite.

He was feeding his horses Monday night, when a 5-foot rattlesnake slithered onto his central Washington property. He and his 27-year-old son, Benjamin, cut off its head with a shovel. They then hit it a few more times, and it ended up under his truck.

"When I reached down to pick up the head, it raised around and did a backflip almost, and bit my finger," Anderson said. "I had to shake my hand real hard to get it to let loose."

Most likely it was one of those muscle reflex actions that sometimes happen when something (or even someone) is recently dead. That doesn't make Anderson feel any better though - he still had to get treatment for the snakebite.

Microsoft Sued by Nude Publisher Perfect 10

If you can't win against the top search engine, try a smaller - or less dominant (though still deep-pocketed) - one. Perfect 10, a publisher of nude model photography is suing Microsoft for putting links and thumbnail images of the its content in search results - taken from other Web sites that are illegally reproducing the material.

Yeah, Microsoft would be responsible for what other sites do, right? In 2005, Perfect 10 filed a similar lawsuit against Google, and they actually managed to get an injunction against Google. However, that verdict was reversed in May of this year.

As the old saying goes, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Can You Outshoot Dick Cheney? - 'The Power of 10'

Interesting premiere for the game show 'The Power of 10', hosted by Drew Carey. Unlike most shows where you have to pick a correct answer, on this show you predict what percentage of Americans would answer a question a certain way. The $100,000 question was: "What percentage of Americans said in a duel with Dick Cheney, they would probably get shot by the Vice-President, instead of the other way around?"

Now, what flashes through my mind are the following questions: how far away is the Secret Service? Does he cheat? And so forth. After all, since it's not a shotgun, he might have a better chance.

At any rate, for the $100,000 question, the contestant gives a range of 20%. In this case the contestant gave the answer of 35 - 55%. The answer was 43%, so he continued on ... and won $1 million.

Of course, for those of you who are math majors you can see that 57% think they would outshoot our VP.

Parents to name their baby 'Superman'

Someone please explain to me why any parents would subject their baby to something like this? I mean, come on! This will get the kid razzed his entire childhood. And even worse ... their first choice was '4Real'.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton, from New Zealand, tried to get that name registered. But the Registrar-General of Births, Deaths and Marriages rejected the name '4Real' on the grounds that the dictionary definition of a name was "a sequence of characters".

Actually, I could actually see that being a possible problem when trying to enter his name into a field in a computer program ... if coded a certain way it may not allow numbers. At any rate, they said that if necessary, they will register him as 'Superman', but call him '4Real' at home.

That poor child. Knowing kids his life is gonna be hell.

Google deletes its own blog, hands it to another user

I'm guessing the Custom Search Blog team hasn't been checking it too much. For one thing, as of this writing, the last entry was 7/17/2007. Because of that, the blog was accidentally marked as spam, and then released ... after which it was promptly snapped up by a cybersquatter.

What generally happens to Blogger blogs is if Google has spotted content associated with spam on their blog, they contact the blog owner to give them a chance to clear up any misunderstandings. In this case the Custom Search Blog team did not respond, the blog was disabled and the URL was released to the general public. Someone named Srikanth swooped in and grabbed it, and wrote the following post:

"Google Custom Search, is the wonderful product from Google which many webmasters have been looking and dream for," Srikanth wrote. "Also Google Custom Search is integrated with Ad-sense, which means make money while keeping users on your site for longer time with custom search engine.... Good Luck for all the Custom Search customers(??)."

And yes, I've actually received such a notice from Google before (not about this blog, but I fully expect to). It's very annoying as they disable new content and only way to get it released is basically filing a ticket. And it takes daaaays before they release it. I've seen tons of posts on user forums about it, so Google's algorithm isn't to selective ... and their handling of it isn't too speedy either.

Not to be outflanked by Russia, Canada to claim the North Pole

Santa Claus might have something to say about this. But since Russia staked a claim to the North Pole by sending submarines to drop a flag on the bottom of the ocean, the Canadian Prime Minister (Stephen Harper) has decided he'd better get his act in gear and start planting flags himself.

"We're sending our prime minister to reassert Canadian sovereignty," a senior government official said.

Of course, the United States feels that the Northwest Passage and the Arctic are "neutral waters". It's obvious why. If there's any "fill-in-the-blank" with oil, minerals, whatever there, everyone wants it.

It seems to me that if you look at a globe, since it's the Arctic Circle, countries adjacent to it should have a claim on that part which, if you drew radii from the North Pole, would seem to intersect with their territories. Of course, that probably makes too much sense.

UK Police report rise in thefts ... from themselves

If only they could find someone to report these crimes to! Over £250,000 was stolen last year in both property and cash. Not only that, approximately 2/3 of the crimes remain unsolved.

Thieves even got away with one £10,000 Dorset police car. How they are hiding that ... I have no idea.

One police station lost a refridgerator. And another a George Foreman grill. Hey, George, if you're reading this, maybe you can help them out with a freebie?

FEMA halts use and sales of toxic trailers ... finally!

Over a year after it was disclosed that many FEMA trailers had dangerous levels of formaldehyde, FEMA has finally halted use and sales of them. According to FEMA (cough, cough), “Nothing is as important to FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security as ensuring that disaster victims have a safe and healthy place to reside during their recovery.” Uh, huh. Just don't expect us to hurry when trying to get you a safe place, I guess is what they're saying.

This is a major turnaround ... as recently as last month, FEMA said they would continue to use the trailers. However, this is currently just a temporary measure, while the CDC and Department of Homeland Security’s Office of Health Affairs test the air quality in the estimated 120,000 travel trailers FEMA provided to victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

EMA Administrator David Paulison said any FEMA trailer occupants could request replacement or alternative housing ... if the trailer was purchased in the last 12 months a refund will be made. FEMA will also authorize rental assistance or offer residency in a mobile home, if possible.

Took 'em long enough. Why does it seem like the Katrina / Rita fiasco still continues to this day.

Obama Can't Wait to Meet Caroline ...

Caroline Giuliani, that is. After all, earlier in the week it was discovered that she, the 17-year-old daughter of the GOP presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani listed herself as a member of Obama's Facebook group, "Barack Obama (One Million Strong for Barack)." What better publicity for Obama (and what an embarrassing situation for Giuliani).

Of course, as soon as Slate contacted her on Monday she removed herself from the group (you can see the proof here in a screenshot). When asked about it during his campaigning in Iowa, Obama said “That’s very nice. We think it’s wonderful that we are attracting support from young people all across the country. I can’t wait to meet her.”

Just goes to show that you'd better watch what you post online l ... someone is bound to see it. This just adds to the story yesterday about companies springing up that clean up your online image before you look for a job.

Flight Attendant Faces Charges for Drinking While Flying

I'd feel much worse if she was flying the plane, but still ... Sarah Mills, 26, threatened an Atlantic Southeast Airlines captain Sunday afternoon, saying "You're dead" as she was removed from the plane. She appeared in court today to face charges.

Court documents said her breath smelled of alcohol ... yet a blood test showed her BAC to only be 0.032, well below Kentucky's legal limit of .08 for driving. I guess she just can't handle her liquor.

Just as serious, perhaps moreso for her career ... Mills also faces a civil review by the FAA on charges of being a crew member of an airplane while drunk.

Baby Einstein or Baby Homer?

Are you one of the parents whose been "subjecting " their babies to those educational videos, designed to turn them into geniuses ... or at least, help them learn? You may have actually been turning them into Homer Simpsons rather than Albert Einsteins.

A study released today, by the University of Washington in Seattle, showed that babies 8 to 16 months old which were shown videos as "Brainy Baby" or "Baby Einstein," actually knew 6 - 8 words less than other children.

Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a professor of pediatrics at the university, and his colleagues surveyed 1,000 parents in Washington and Minnesota and determined their babies' vocabularies using a set of 90 common baby words. So, 6 - 8 words doesn't sound like much until you translate it into percentages, vs. the 90 possible words. That's really 7 - 9%.

Christakis said children whose parents read to them or told them stories had larger vocabularies. And that starts to makes sense, because the videos hop from scene to scene with minimal dialogue.

Blind Man Arrested ... for Driving

Yes, you read it correctly. A blind man was arrested for driving. He was getting "assistance" from his passenger. Fortunately for us in America he was in Estonia.

"At first they thought he was just drunk, but the man kept missing the tube for the breath test, then they realized he was blind" and arrested him, Tartu Police spokeswoman Marge Kohtla said Monday.

Drunk Student Runs Over Her Driving Instructor

Lesson to driving students: don't drink before your lessons. David Tanner, 51, was teaching Victoria Hosner (pictured, in what looks like a booking photo) how to drive this week when she accidentally hit the gas pedal and accelerated backward, according to the sheriff's office.

Not only that, she continued to drive in reverse and caused about $6,000 worth of damage.

A deputy thought her breath smelled of alcohol, so they administered a test, and ... it measured her blood-alcohol level at .146, above Florida's .08 legal limit. Naturally she's going to face a few charges.

Tsk, tsk. Why do I think this instructor's going to give her an F?

Oklahoma declares the Watermelon 'State Vegetable'

This makes a whole lotta sense, since watermelon, at least by Webster's (and just about everyone) is defined as a fruit. Unfortunately, Oklahoma already has a state fruit, so since Democratic Representative Joe Dorman of Rush Springs, site of an annual watermelon festival in August, just had to do something, well, this is what you get.

State Senator Don Barrington, R-Lawton, sponsored the bill in the state Senate, and he said "The controversy on whether watermelon is a fruit or vegetable has been officially decided by the Oklahoma Legislature." He said watermelon comes from the cucumber and gourd families, which are classified as vegetables.

Uh, huh. For those interested, the state fruit is the strawberry.

No hurricanes for 70 years, but NYC stocks up anyway

New York City must be a believer in global warming ... you know, more extreme weather, more storms, etc. Why else would they spend $15 million to stock up on earthquake supplies when a major hurricane hasn't hit the city for almost 70 years.

"We can care for people up to seven days," said Office of Emergency Management Commissioner Joseph Bruno.

They've spent between $8 million and $9 million on 4,400 pallets of supplies set aside in a New Jersey warehouse, including bottled water, blankets, baby formula, pet-care items and food.

Obese Corpses Cause Problems for Mortuaries

Despite watching "Six Feet Under" this never occurred to me as a possible problem. It's no secret that people around the world are more obese ... and the percentage is going up as I type this. However, two studies in Australia show that not only is the obesity an obvious health problem ... it's creating a ton of issues for mortuaries.

Pathologists are calling for new "heavy-duty" autopsy facilities to cope with obese corpses ... because they are are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.

Meanwhile, a second study said that the bodies presented "major logistical problems" and "significant occupational health and safety issues".

Studies or no ... this kinda shoulda been obvious right? And I'll bet you it's not limited to just Australia.

No! Crispy Duck Sales Banned from Beijing Toilets

No, you're reading it right. In Beijing there are food stalls attached to public toilets. So I guess, when they talk about food that goes right through you ... well, if you get any, it's fine. At any rate, with the Olympics coming in 2008, in addition to trying to improve hygiene and rudeness, China has decided to get rid of the stalls.
Billboards next to toilets will also be banned. Go figure.

Moses Gets Prison for Parting the Waters

No, not that Moses, and not the Red Sea. But instead this is Charlie Moses, a real estate broker and developer who has been sentenced to prison by a federal appeals court, over a violation of the Clean Water Act.

He tried to change the flow of Idaho's Teton Creek near a housing development in the 1980s. He did not stop when ordered to do so by U.S. agencies.

"While his sang-froid (or even contempt) in the face of agency demands may show either courage or foolhardiness, it does not save him from the consequences of his actions," the court wrote.

Workaholics have less sex ... who woulda thunk?

Actually it seems that it's more a symptom of lack of sex leading to overwork than vice versa. A survey of 32,000 men and women by researchers at the University of Goettingen found over 35% of those reporting "unsatisfying" sex lives tended to use hard work as a diversion.

They were surveyed for the newsletter "Apotheken Umschau". My guess is this same symptom applies to other countries as well. Meanwhile, head of the study, in an understatement, said "These findings are worrying." Well, probably more for the people missing out on sex than anyone else. Personally, I could think of other, ahem, diversions that might help their sexual tension.

iPhone Kiosk Reboots ... into Windows XP ...

Of course, this kiosk was at an AT&T store, not an Apple store. You can see from the logo also that it's Windows XP SP2 (since the tag that indicated Home or Professional was removed at SP2). At least they are up-to-date! It's also been indicated that the HW powering these kiosks ... are Dells ...

My guess is the boot was caused by a crash of some sort, so don't gloat too much, you Windows fans.

Mother cuts off 61-year-old son's ... allowance; grounds him

Scared you, eh?

The son stayed out late again (oooooh), so his mother took away his car keys as well as his allowance. This occurred in the central Sicilian city of Caltagirone, where the mother even took to hauling him off to the police station because of his poor behavior.

The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook.

The police calmed them down and sent them home ... together.

Apparently, many Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their cooking, washing and ironing. But 61?

Newspaper Reporter apologizes for "Vick would have been better off raping a woman" comment

Major oops, right? This is over Michael Vick and the dogfighting charges that he is facing. During a panel discussion on a local sports panel show, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reporter Paul Zeise said "It's really a sad day in this country when somehow ... Michael Vick would have been better off raping a woman if you look at the outcry of what happened. Had he done that, he probably would have been suspended for four games and he'd be back on the field. But because this has become a political issue, all of a sudden the commissioner has lost his stomach for it."

He apologized for the poorly-chosen analogy, but he won't be invited back on the show, Sports Showdown. Additionally, his newspaper printed a statement indicating his "insensitive and offensive" remarks "do not represent the view of the Post-Gazette."

Amtrak offering free alcohol on overnight trips ...

I guess they figure they have you trapped on the train, so it doesn't matter if you get drunk. After all, it's potential liability that has caused many companies to stop giving out free booze at say company picnics or events.

In this case Amtrak is giving $100 worth of booze to overnight travelers. It's not all travelers. Members of Amtrak's guest rewards program - the basically frequent 'riders' - can get a $100 per person credit for alcohol between November and January.

Not sure this is such a bright idea, but it's a promotion, so if you want it, it's only good between November and January.

Sumo wrestler claims injury ... then plays soccer ... on TV

Hey, I'm sure major league baseball, football, basketball, etc. players have feigned injury before. And you know that regular old John Q. Public has called in sick without really being sick, as well. But don't do it if you're going to play soccer in a charity match ... on TV.

Mongolian wrestler Asashoryu has been suspended for the next two grand sumo tournaments for playing soccer while supposedly injured. He had opted out of a regional sumo tour with a "back injury". He also will receive a 30 percent pay cut for four months on top of his suspension, both firsts for a "yokozuna" (sumo's highest rank).

I could swear there was a TV episode like this ... I'm thinking Flintstones, but I can't find it ... at any rate, Asashoryu apparently didn't see it.